Fat Slags (2004)

Whether or not "Fat Slags" is among the worst films ever made is up for debate. The production values aren't really bad and the film technically speaking isn't horrible. However, the script and characters are among the most detestable and disgusting I've ever seen...and I have almost 19,000 reviews to my credit!! The film consists of two extremely untalented and shrill actresses in fat suits behaving like pigs. I won't mention the women's actual names, as I don't wish to give them any publicity whatsoever--plus I cannot see how either worked again after starring in this film. Their characters, Sandra and Tracey, fart, rape delivery men, abuse everyone around them and fart...a lot. This sort of subhuman act makes even the most obnoxious and talentless comedians seem like thespians compared to them. Their gross and shrill antics go on and on and on without letup and it's no exaggeration that there really is no equal to them in awfulness. The story is that a big media owner (Jerry O'Connell) sees these disgusting 'women' on TV (as they are destroying a talk show and sexually assaulting the host) and decides to make them super-stars-- all because he's had a traumatic brain injury. So, you see them walk the runways of a fashion show, on TV again and pretty much abuse everyone around them. And, completely inexplicably, they become super-stars--and are able to then spread their self-absorbed lifestyle and attitudes to the world.Throughout this film are various appearances by B-list actors who are apparently attempting to become D-list celebrities! How they allowed themselves to be seen with these completely untalented actresses is beyond me...and may just be the result of real head injuries! The film is tough to take, shrill and devoid of talent or entertainment value unless you are a complete idiot. A film to be avoided unless you are showing it to detainees at Gitmo to make them talk.The only thing in this god-awful mess of a film that I did like were the two men from the North of England who tried to make it to London. EVERYONE kept thinking that they were illegal aliens because they couldn't be understood by anyone due to their heavy North England accents...a funny observation about the MANY British dialects. Still, while mildly amusing, the rest of the film was like going for a swim in a septic pool and this somewhat amusing subplot was wasted.

I normally enjoy British comedy more than the American counterpart because the jokes tend to be a bit more subtle, a bit more ironic an less slapstick-y. That is not the case with this movie, subtlety has been thrown out completely, and the "jokes" are more or less shoved in your face. This is exceedingly annoying considering that most of the jokes are based around the main characters being fat, uneducated slobs, its not only childish but unfunny and downright offensive. I wish movie makers could learn that fat people and fart jokes are not funny.The worst thing about the movie though, is not the jokes, or for that matter the inane plot or over the top acting, it is the main characters themselves. These two women are so utterly vile and disgusting (both looks wise and behavior wise) that you end up rooting for, alternatively pitying, the supposed bad guys.

In Robert Heinlein's novel The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, a sentient computer is trying to understand humour. His human mentor identifies the fact that some humour is funny every time, and some is only funny once.In 1979 a comic called Viz was introduced in the UK. In terms of appearance, Viz emulated the historic tradition of kids' humour comics as started in 1939 with the Dandy, with single page strips devoted to individual characters. The subject matter of the strips, however, is predominantly mucky - toilet talk, sexual situations and, in general, the sort of smutty humour which particularly appeals to adolescent lads. To them, I suspect the humour is funny every time. To me - once I read a copy of Viz I got the joke, found it mildly amusing, and found repeat trips added nothing to the experience. There are those who did not find the first experience amusing.Fat Slags is a movie based on a Viz strip. Whereas Dandy and Beano feature the misadventures of Lord Snooty And His Pals, Roger the Dodger, Minnie the Minx, The Bash Street Kids et. al. (all of whom are variations on mildly naughty schoolchildren), Fat Slags concerns itself with the gluttonous and promiscuous exploits of two young women from the north of England. That's it. That's the joke, folks. Funny, isn't it? OK, after you've found the strip mildly amusing the first time you've read it, I suppose it's conceivable you might get a chuckle or two from future strips (particularly if you leave a gap between reading them - say a year or two). Now let's consider feeding this limited idea into a movie.We have two talented actresses stuffed into fat suits, indulging in real lowest denominator antics. Toilet sequences can be funny - Dumb And Dumber, Blazing Saddles, American Pie come to mind - but farting for the sake of it simply isn't. And that's the problem with most of the outrageous antics in this movie (and the strip) - they are just for the sake of it.And, as such, not remotely funny.This is a waste of the undoubted talent of those in it, and a huge blot on their collective CVs.

Eeeeee.... ah started readin' t'Viz when ya could onnly get't at't Kard Bar...... which is the one outlet in Newcastle that sold the thing way before its glory days (also now long gone). But on that basis, I feel entitled to say that this is actually a very funny film. It has an incredible cast, looked the part- OK, they departed from the usual locations of Mr. Vitoni's and the Dog & Hammer, but for me it worked (except for the fact that Dolph Lundgren got away with his shorts still on, of course). Geri Haliwell was actually rather excellent, and Anthony Head was superb ("...and Ethiopa has a space programme..."). The number of genuinely funny moments was enough to sustain a pleasant game of "spot the cameo"). Overall, vastly better than the animated version, and a thoroughly enjoyable bit of light entertainment. After all, anything that combines a dig at the Turner Prize with an informed critique of the doner kebab can't be all bad. Give it a try- you might just agree that it is extremely funny.