Gladiatress (2004)

This movie was possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. That may be overly harsh because I have seen "Anaconda" and "Pearl Harbour" and even parts of "Son of the Mask" but quite honestly, this film gave me a headache.Okay, good things... good things... well, the acting was pretty good.On to the not-so-good things. It was confusing. I mean, there was something about Romans and Britons, divine intervention, something about bees was mentioned, a kidnapping, a brief fight or something, coming back form the dead, a tunnel, a duck... I mean, it was too much random stuff thrown into a blender with the hope that it would turn out all right.Someone told me it was a comedy once, but only ONE of my group of friends gave anything resembling a laugh once, (at the final line of the film.) I'd be quite prepared to admit that I simply 'didn't get it' because it had heart, proved by the fact that I feel bad for writing this. However, it was a waste of 80 minutes and a waste of the pizza I mindlessly consumed while my brain was straining to find a plot.I take back what I wrote about it being the worst movie ever, but it was certainly the most confusing.

I know there are others who have found enjoyment in this film, but personally I cannot remember having seen before a film so devoid of ANY redeeming features. Having rented this film from the local video store I found myself wanting not only my money but also my TIME back. TV humour does not always benefit from the transition from TV to the Big Screen. But having regularly watched and been a fan of Smack the Pony I was expecting a comedy of merit. What I find difficult to understand is how the team that produced Smack the Pony (and were also behind excellent 'Green Wing', which I consider to be the funniest/brilliant programs for many a long while) could also produce this sorry film. It was vaguely reminiscent of a Carry On film but was far worse than the worst of any of them and the 'lets sit round dinner and have a farting competition' scene was a direct steal from 'Blazing Saddles'. The simple fact is that the plot made no sense and it was simply not funny. The title was the Gladiatress yet none of the sisters become one (they were simply put into the arena to be killed, that is NOT a Gladiator). Please, please, please don't see this film, it will only encourage them and it might give them enough money to make a sequel.

Not brilliant, but definitely worth watching. British humor at it's almost best and a very feminine type of humor to, in the great tradition of Absolutely Faboulous and Bridget Jones. Girl Power comedy. I think it's wonderful that we have come that far that women can be portrayed as pathetic and miserable but still sympathetic, as they are in movies like Gladiatress and Bridget Jones Diaries. It's womens turn to be allowed to be ridiculous - a domain which has been strictly male dominated until recently.Above all I like that the movie show how superior, in practically everything, except for farting, the Romans were. They were cleaner, ate better, behaved better and above all, they locked better. "What have the Romans ever given to us" - Life of Brian. British men don't get much credit in this one. The movies heretical mixture of past and present also makes it one of those few really good comedies that doesn't take itself too seriously without becoming just silly and boring.

Close to such classics as Glitter and Midnight Tease we find this incredibly dull spoof (?) of Gladiator and other Roman Era films, with some sort of odd feminism throughout the entire 'movie'.When 1 of three sisters, nobody less than an English princess, is kidnapped by the Romans, the other two set out to free her. Some silly gags, idiotic characters and stupifying fighting scenes later I had not laughed but once, when the character with the oh so funny name Worthaboutapig is beheaded, as I hoped that would finally shut her up. But too bad...If you're an individual with any sense left, leave this film alone. In fact, stay away from it as far as possible. This movie is definitely worth much less than a pig. 1/10.