Quiet Please, Murder (1943)

George Sanders (Fleg) is a book forger who, in collaboration with phony forgery expert Gail Patrick (Myra), carves out a wealthy lifestyle by selling his "original" Shakespeare copies to the rich. However, Patrick makes a mistake by selling one of these fakes to well-connected Nazi Sidney Blackmer (Cleaver) who demands his money back. At the same time, detective Richard Denning (McByrne) is also sold a fake book and is looking to crack the case. Everyone meets in a library for a showdown.The film starts off alright with Sanders in a typical villainous role, but I'm afraid interest just seeps away. Everything gets complicated, there are far too many characters and henchman to understand who is siding with who and it ends up being a lot of people running around in a library. Totally unbelievable, a quite preposterous plot and some pretty stupid dialogue with meaningless psychobabble. I just wanted it to stop.Having said that, I've never known so much activity to go on in a library. They are usually full of obnoxious teenagers talking really loud, tramps sitting around, old people reading newspapers and I remember using the place to crash out after a hard night's drinking or whatever else I'd been up to. I'd rather spend the length of this film in an actual library rather than watch the film.Finally, I remember being in our school library at the same time as a peculiar looking guy from the year below me. He was peculiar because he had recently died his hair gold. Not blonde……Gold…!! Anyway, I have to applaud him in his outlook on literature. I remember him saying aloud "Shakespeare! On the floor!" in disgust as he picked up the Shakespeare book and placed it carefully back on the shelf. I found it funny but it also made me view the notion of respect in a different light. He was genuinely offended by the fact that a Shakespeare book had been discarded on the floor. And I really liked him after that incident. I googled him recently and discovered that he has won some military honours in Sierra Leone and Afghanistan and is a Colonel and expert in military planning. Anyway, I see him as how George Sanders could have turned out if only Sanders had shown Shakespeare a little more respect. Even though I know that at school he died his hair gold! Ha ha.

This film is terribly uninteresting. The characters are one dimensional and the script lacks depth. It doesn't look as though the writer has made any effort to engage the audience with a believable storyline or interesting characters. The only reason why I watched it is because George Sanders is in it. When he is presented with a good script under a good director his performance really soars. This film has neither a good script nor a good director. The performances at best are mediocre, and even Sanders without a good script and director shows the holes in his acting. The film is utter crap, and the only thing it is good for is to be relegated to the dustbin.

Master forger of rare books (Sanders) gets mixed up with Nazis (Blackmer), a detective (Denning) and a double-crossing dame (Patrick).The convoluted script may take a Rosetta Stone to solve, still it's a slickly done TCF programmer. Those two smoothies Sanders and Patrick are well cast as a couple of A-team masochists, engaged in a game of one-upmanship and about as trustworthy as rattlesnakes. In fact, Patrick's character qualifies for the Devious Dame Hall of Fame, with her warm personality and stone cold heart. Still, I'm a bit surprised that some of that pain-loving dialog Sanders relishes made it past the censors. Usually old Hollywood just hinted at such things instead of belaboring them.Denning and Roberts are clearly America's team, though Denning may wobble at times. One thing for sure—set design and art direction come cheap since most of the action takes place in a single setting, a library. Still, director Larkin keeps things moving. And get a load of baldy Kurt Katch's mute Nazi. He's about as inviting as the polar ice cap and just as chilling. But, I'm still wondering which thug belongs to which gang, which does get confusing.Oh well, things do sort out, I think. Then too, it's 1942 and the war is still in doubt. Byron Foulger's officious little air warden may be on the silly side, but the blackouts weren't. These old movies do show us things the history books can't. Anyhow, the movie may be nothing to write home about. But it's still impressive how Hollywood could turn out such slick little programmers in the middle of a big war.

Another reviewer suggested a better, more realistic ending (but one that would've been acceptable in 1942, when good had to triumph over evil at the movies). So I can see how some might prefer a more postmodern version.But I think the clichés of this film are good campy fun. It's been a very long time since I found a movie this good that I've never seen before. So I see it as a superb relic to be treasured.It's a charming film noir crime caper, stagy and clumsy at times, but with a very smooth George Sanders as the rather mild villain, and surprisingly smart banter throughout. It has a good formulaic story that doggedly ties up all loose ends into a neat package. It moves very quickly for its age, and is pretty easy to follow, despite the plot being somewhat complex.I'm very excited to have stumbled across it.