Message from Space (1978)

A princess releases eight magic seeds into space to find heroes to help her people in their resistance against the silver-skinned hordes of the Gavanas Empire. The seeds recruit a motley team including a retired soldier, three hot-dogging space racers and their buddy, a robot, the rightful imperial heir, and the princess' sidekick. Can the reluctant heroes free the enslaved Jillucians, can they protect Earth from the evil Emperor, can they survive the onslaught of the powerful Imperial space-carrier, and will love and honour prevail? Unfortunately, for the answers to these questions, you'll have to watch the film, which is an awful mélange of "Star Wars" (the basic plot and some set pieces such as the attack on the reactor), kid's tokusatsu like "Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot" (the Emperor and his silver-skinned henchman), and 1960's Italian science fiction (much of the music and fashion, especially in the dance scene). The music ranges from knockoffs of Ennio Morricone's spaghetti western themes to bad '60s instrumental pop to 'as close as you can get without being sued' derivatives of the iconic "Star Wars" (1977) score. Other than old pros Sonny Chiba and Vic Morrow, the acting is amateur and the (dubbed) script makes little sense (and is full of scientific errors). It's a tribute to Morrow's professionalism that he could deliver his fatuous lines with a straight face, especially when playing straight man to a sensitive robot. The special effects are weak (even Showa-era kaiju films had better miniature work) and generally unimaginative (an exception being Imperial fighters), and the story inconsistent, incoherent, and not particularly interesting. I enjoy most Japanese kaiju and tokusatsu (even the goofy TV series such as "Ambassador Magma" (1966) and "Super Giant" (1964)), but I found "Message from Space" a challenge to get through. Definitely for hard core fans of the genre (or of 'camp') only.

One reviewer said that this was so bad it was good. Wrong, IMHO. This is so bad, it is bad.They break lots of the laws of physics in space. 1. Why in the world would a space ship have a full set of sails? They would get knocked off immediately upon use.2. The exhaust from a huge ship just trails out randomly. a. It would not be on in space most of the time b. It would shoot out, at least for a while, in a straight line 3. The hotshots crash land on some minor rock and find air. No thought of putting on protective helmets. 4. The space cop has a siren. Didn't he know there is no sound transmission in space? 5. Without retro rockets, space ships stop on a dime and hover. 6. They move around free in space by flapping their arms like it was water.This silliness goes on and on. Dancing Robot, indeed!I was looking for a real space movie and found this abortion. I'm think this pass you should. Well, then, the costumes are nice shades of orange and pink. The only saving grace. After 29 minutes, there was no plot in evidence. Maybe one happens later. Right at 30 minutes, a plot point. The clouds are lifting. We can go out and play after all. Mother, Father, kindly disregard this letter.

The peaceful Jillucians are under the oppressive rule of the evil Gavanas empire. Leader Kido sends his plucky granddaughter Emeralida (a nicely feisty portrayal by the lovely Etsuko Shihomi) to find eight brave warriors to fend off the nefarious horde and end their cruel reign of tyranny. Director Kinji Fukasaku relates the engrossing and entertaining story at a brisk pace, delivers an impressive sense of epic scope and sweep (the lavish sets and garish costumes are quite stunning), maintains a generally serious tone throughout, and stages the rousing last reel action with flair and skill. Hiro Matsuda's creative script combines fantasy, samurai, and science fiction elements in a colorful and engaging manner. Better still, this movie provides several inspired surreal touches such as a spacecraft that looks like a 19th century galleon and a groovy intergalactic club complete with sexy on-stage female dancers and thumping disco music. Moreover, it's acted with zest by a snazzy international cast, with especially stand-out contributions from Vic Morrow as the bitter and booze-sodden General Garuda, Sonny Chiba as the valiant Prince Hans, Philip Casnoff as brash punk hot-rodder Aaron, Peggy Lee Brennan as perky rich gal Meia (who sports a hilariously out of place New York accent!), and Mikio Narita as the wicked Emperor Rockseia XII. The special effects are pretty funky and impressive for their time. In addition, this picture has a sweet feeling of genuine heart and sincerity that's impossible to either dislike or resist. Toru Nakajima's vibrant widescreen cinematography supplies a sparkling bright visual sheen. Ken-Ichiro Morioka's robust and majestic orchestral score hits the stirring spot. An immensely fun and enjoyable blast.

I keep a list of my picks for worst movies ever, arranged by year. Until I watched this slipshod hunk of insanity, Laserblast was my entry for 1978. It has now been deleted. That is all.What's that? I still have to fill ten lines? Okay. Message from Space is one of those movies that epitomizes the astonishment that washes over you as you're staring at a bad movie like a deer caught in headlights, thoughts bursting: This was made by humans who possess the same mental faculties as me? Money was spent on this? Okay, not a lot, but it must have cost something to turn that mall or office building in a spaceship interior... right? Mystic walnuts that seek out eight heroes, inexplicably? Would that have even been a credible story element pre-cinema, centuries ago? You still would have been laughed out of the campfire fairytale gathering. Vic Morrow looks like he's wondering if he can stand up, shake his head and walk off the set, cursing, at any given moment. Is the dialogue this ridiculous in the original Japanese translation? Wow, look at all of the craftsmanship that went into the spaceship designs. The designers and model makers must have really (and probably still do) hate the IDIOT DIRECTOR AND CINEMATOGRAPHER.