The Growing Pains Movie (2000)

I used to watch television's "Growing Pains." It was an awful little show, almost as bad as "Full House," but nevertheless fun to watch. But this TV reunion is just plain awful. I mean, it puts the "pain" in "painful." Kirk Cameron (now a Christian and part of the "Left Behind" series) is not as naughty as he was in the show; maybe because he is a Christian and feels it isn't right to show the old Kirk. Don't know, but he is different. TV legend Alan Thicke, who did the voice of a robot in "And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird!" is just about the only cast member worth watching, sadly. I believe the guy playing Ben is gay; he always seemed gay in the show and this movie shows the actor grown up (he's gotta be a homo). He is different from the old Ben, not worth watching.Everyone is different, the gags are not there, we are left with a typical, sentimental, feel-good movie that doesn't make one feel as good as it does...well...in pain. Maybe it's just growing pains. But I think it's just pain.

Oh it was so painful to watch this. No real plot, the children can't act as adults and everyone looked like they didn't want to be in this "movie". This was something that ABC did NOT need to make. Painful, so painful...I kept expecting it to get better and all it did was get worst. As I stated in my Summary. My eyes, my eyes, my eyes are burning! The pain, the pain. Not worth watching...worth passing on.

Growing Pains was one of the many shows I watched as a young kid growing up in the 1980s. I love reunion movies but I didn't have much expectation for this one. I'm sorry I didn't tape it because I really enjoyed it! The political storyline may turn some viewers off, and the story is pretty farfetched overall, but that's pretty much the norm in any TV reunion movie. It was great to see Mike and Carol at each other's throats and to see Ben as a slacker dude (which we all knew he'd turn out to be). A lot of fun!

As with any reunion show, you usually tune in just for nostalgia sake, to see the cast back together and to see how they've changed. On that level, this tele-pic works, but as far as plot goes, expect the usual chaotic heavy handedness associated with sitcoms. But right there is one of the film's problems, it's a sitcom in movie form. Without that laugh track and no one customary setting (like when they lived in the house) things just seem out of place. It all concerns Kerns political race with her former boss, who sacks her in the opening. The rest of the family gathers to help her campaign back on Long Island, the family's former home. Everyone basically looks the same, with the exception of Johnson, who was 9 when the show ended in 92, and has turned into quite a looker. Thicke still has Jason down pat, Kerns and Gold have held up well, despite shorter haircuts, Cameron looks only slightly older as Mike and Miller still resembles Ben, though with a goatee and long locks, which are sheered early on. The only other return is Noble, Cameron's real life wife, also playing her here. I was hoping at least "Boner", Mike's dimwitted friend would pop up (pun intended, hehe) as one of the old guest stars, but no such luck. And that includes Decaprio, who some fans actually wondered about. Got a feeling he's just a wee bit too big to catch up with his old friends, the Seavers. The core of the film went mostly to Gold, as her would be romance dominates a lot of the time, which disappointed me, seeing how I always felt Cameron was the real star of the show during its original run. Only two or three chuckles through the whole thing, with an expected finale, some of which is too dopey for words. Look out for the in-your-face direction as well, as Metter, who years ago helmed real movies like "Back to School", to only three years later be calling the shots on "Police Academy 7", loves to use tight shots too much. The cast is right up in your eyes most of the time, giving you a crowded kind of feeling. And forget about going down memory lane, as there is no return trip to the old Burbank studio set for some much needed sentiment. Odd that they decided to bring them back together after 8 years instead of 10. I assume its because of the popularity of the reruns on the Disney Channel, which of course is owned by ABC. A stroke of marketing genius for Disney, who ran a marathon of old episodes on the Disney Channel right up until airtime of the movie over on the mother ship, ABC. It all came out ok, but nothing special. Maybe better results on the next reunion?