The Tomb (1986)

Mid-eighties grade-Z Indiana Jones knockoff starring David O'Hara as beer swilling tomb raider John Banning who unwittingly awakens an Egyptian sorceress Nefratis (Michelle Bauer) and becomes a pawn in her resurrected plans for world conquest, or something to that effect. When looking at the cast of actors one might get the impression that with such B-movie royalty like Sybil Danning, John Carradine, and the always entertaining Cameron Mitchell that this movie might not be as bad as it sounds. You would be very wrong on that assumption. While all aforementioned actors try their best to elevate the "talent" level on screen they are collectively in the film for only about ten minutes with Mitchell making up the bulk of that time. Instead you get to watch the "don't quit your day job waiting at Spago's" performance buy the woefully inept Richard Hench who becomes the central character in the film about halfway in to it. The scenes with Hench and his professor sidekick are the visual equivalent of banging your skull off of a concrete wall. David O'Hara's character John Banning is so unlikeable that it's confusing as to why he wasn't rewritten better as the film clearly wants him to be the hero. Michelle Bauer's nudity free Nefratis sleepwalks throughout the movie. If anyone can tell me what the hell actually killed her at the end I would greatly appreciate it as I rewound it many times and failed to see what exactly happened. My word of advice for wary B-movie fans is if it says Olen Ray stay away!

I remember reading a write up on this film, the standard fare put out by the promotions people. It sounded exciting, horrific, all the things I enjoy about a good mummy movie. Then I got the box home and knew I was in trouble. The cheesy art of the box cover was the first clue. It could just have easily been the cover for "Big Trouble in Little China" which was a much better film, but this was no comedy, at least not intentionally. To begin with the budget on this must have been all of a $1.85 with tax. Then there are the sets. The film was supposed to take place in Egypt, but the sets bore no resemblance whatever. Cameron Mitchell is no actor, no way, never been. I was especially disappointed to see aging horror star John Carradine and Sybil Danning in this as they are both usually in much better quality work. You can safely give this one a miss, unless you are a fan of "Plan 9 From Out Space." This is right down there with it.

The Tomb is one of those stupid movies I remember seeing when I was around 7 or 8 and thinking it was the coolest thing in the world. Now, watching it almost two decades later, I realize I must have been a pretty stupid kid. Ancient Egyptian artifacts are stolen from a dead princess's tomb. She returns from the dead to exact revenge on the individuals who now possess them. Sounds like it could be good for average '80's horror cheese fodder, but it isn't. Slow-paced boredom with an irritating group of actors (minus Michelle Bauer, who is always fun to watch even though she can't act). The pace is horrible and many horror scenes never seem to deliver. Whoever wrote this must have been on speed for the story jumps around a bit for really no reason at all. For some reason the title of the movie is shown twice in the opening credits. Tedious schlock with really nothing to offer. Features goofy violence and gratuitous T and A. One Star.

This move rocked!It has everything you could want in an eighties American horror movie...cool humor,rock music and Michelle Baur! Well...Okay so there only one rock song ("Danger Boy") but that was one cool song.I especially loved the scene in the disco were that song was playing and Michelle Baur slowly creeps up on our main heroine...reminded me of that disco scene form Fright Night.There's also some cool special effects too, like in the end when Michelles true face is revealed...she looked really creepy...(not sure how her hair turned from blonde to brown for no apparent reason though!).The story is about a bunch of archaeologists who stumble upon an old tomb...but an evil mummified Egyptian (Michelle Baur) is awoken in the process...most of the guys are killed of except one...but can he stop her...only the final frame reveals all!!! Wicked movie...you've got to check it out!