The Undertaker (1988)

Deranged mortician Uncle Roscoe (the singular Joe Spinell in peak creepy, slimy, and sweaty form) murders folks in a sleepy small town as a means of keeping his business afloat and stores their mangled bodies as gruesome souvenirs in the basement of his funeral home.Director Frank Steffanino, who's actually a pseudonym for no less than four different people (!), and screenwriter William Kennedy really go out of their way to scrupulously cover the sleazy exploitation cinema bases: We've got a pleasing plethora of leering gratuitous female nudity, an unsparingly sordid tone, cheesy gore, and a warped subtext about necrophilia for that extra icky kick. With the notable exception of Spinell, the rest of the lame no-name cast all give laughably atrocious performances, with Martha Somoeman in particular copping the grand thespic booby prize with her supremely irritating portrayal of shrewish old bat Hazel. The plodding pace, meandering narrative, and ludicrous surprise shock ending further enhance this film's considerable cruddy charm. A total trashy hoot.

"Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the fly".Deadingly dull slasher movie with Joe Spinell as a deranged coroner who likes to murder certain girls who fit a profile which attract his psycho-sexual sensibilities. On goes the white gloves and suit, Spinell, always the heavy breather, sweating away, knife drawn to gut the ladies he greets from behind, became typecast as a lunatic, never to escape the role he made famous in "Maniac". I imagine "The Undertaker" will be of definite interest to Spinell fans as he talks to dead people and lurks in the darkness, peeping on future victims. In between stalk and slash scenes, the pace languishes, not to mention Spinell looks to be in really bad health, slurring his lines as if either drunk or sick. Spinell's "Uncle" Roscoe sets his sights on his nephew Nicky's(Patrick Askin) anthropology teacher who teaches of necrophilia to her students..Nicky uncovers secrets regarding his uncle and wishes to tell somebody. When Nicky sees that Mrs. Hayes(Rebeca Yaron) understands a thing or two about Roscoe's "extra curricular activities", he unwittingly puts her in danger of being another female target. For those hoping Spinell would go off the depend, he does in grand fashion, eyes bulging with madness, all intense giggles, mouth salivating as his squirming victims struggle as life slips away, often gurgling on their own blood after a nasty throat slicing. There were a few other directors who attempted to ape Lustig's success with Spinell, but were simply not able to because Tom Savini was a vital part of why "Maniac" left a lasting impact. "The Undertaker" is a badly assembled mess, shot on the cheap in a few rooms and a couple of houses, with only Spinel's name recognition salvaging it. The sound and picture quality are dire. The final screenshot/fade-to-black is a pathetic attempt to model the fantastic close of "Maniac". Spinell wields a mean machete which impales and severs victims. Yaron's Mrs. Hayes and her best friend/roommate Mandy(Susan Bachli)both have sex/nudity scenes which might be of interest to slasher fans hoping for gratuitous elements besides some modest ultra-violent bits here and there. There's one impossibly long/tedious sequence where Mandy investigates Roscoe's lair which loses any suspense the director might've intended because he drags it on forever and ever.

The Undertaker is not very well known to say the least; and I really can't say I'm surprised about that as the film is rather silly and lacklustre. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that this is one of the last films of cult star Joe Spinell, I highly doubt that anyone would remember it at all. As you would expect from a low budget trash film such as this; the plot is not particularly inventive and the writing is even worse. The film starts off with a rather amusing scene that features an attempted rape by a motorcyclist, and it really sums up what you're going to see nicely as the victim must rank as one of the slowest-witted of all time! The plot focuses on an undertaker named Roscoe. He's a sick man and has decided to take his job into his own hands and has begun killing people himself. He slices up his victims and keeps them as his 'friends' inside the funeral home he lives in. Naturally, it's not long before the police find out what's happening and begin to investigate.Joe Spinell is best known for his role in 1980's Maniac; but anyone hoping for anything like as good as that is liable to be sorely disappointed. This film does feature a handful of murders; but none of them are particularly violent or bloody and mostly we just get to see the killer and his dead victim after the event. I don't know if this was an attempt at 'less is more' or (more likely) the budget constraints meant no gore could be afforded; but either way it's disappointing. As the film is very hard to track down, the copy that I saw was less than great and looks like someone spread Vaseline all over the film stock; but even so it's obvious that the film has a trashy look about it anyway. This does lend itself well to the plot, which is also trashy, but still the film is not very nice to look at. The Undertaker runs for ninety minutes, and even though that's an average running time for films like this; it still feels overlong. The ending is serviceable, but not really worth the wait. Overall, I can't say that this film is worth tracking down, even for hardcore Spinell fans.

"The Undertaker" is a lost and forgotten horror film with Joe Spinell.He plays crazy mortician with the penchant for necrophilia called Roscoe,who stalks and kills beautiful girls.His nephew tries to stop him.The film is clearly not as good as "Maniac",albeit there are some striking similarities between this one and Lustig's gruesome gorefest.The acting is truly awful with the exception of Spinell.The budget is extremely low and there is almost no gore.However there is plenty of nudity,so fans of low-budget slasher flicks won't be disappointed."The Undertaker" is also filled with many clips from "The Corpse Vanishes",which Roscoe watches everyday.Anyway, if you're a fan of Joe Spinell you may give this one a try.My rating:5 out of 10.