Gila! (2012)

Jim Wynorski is a hack. No one can deny this. He's talentless for the most part, but must work cheap since he makes crap like this. Gila! with it's horrible effects (the CGI makes the original, which used a real Gila Monster, look good). Barely competent acting (it was nice to see Night of the Comets Kelli Maroney), and lets just get the shot directing, help make this the crapfest it is. How can anyone make a remake of a film that was already bad and make it worse? I give you Exhibit A.

A choo choo train and a big lizard or two or three and an exclamation point in the title. Some 35 year old teenagers and some really good special effects make for a great movie. They could not get Matt Damon or Justin Bieber so they went with what's his name and the guy from the movie about the thing.The monster is well done with CGI or whatever. Some great old rock and roll fifties hit songs and lots of very nice vintage cars. The steam locomotive looks legit but I do not know.In one scene there is a map of where the monster might be. It has a golf club called The Legends marked on the map. If you search that it is in Indiana. The story is very lame but it remains fun until the end when a last laugh awaits the audience.Looks like the budget was under one million so they did a good job giving us a potential cult flick for pennies. It usually costs much more to make something like this.It has a jeep but it needs an airplane and maybe a military officer and a cat.

There might be a minor spoiler in my review.Why remake "The Giant Gila Monster," one of the cheesiest teen drive-in flicks of the late 50's? Well, it has name recognition. Even with the name alteration, it's still marketable. The original story is in the public domain, so there're no royalties to pay. Maybe just for fun? My guess it all of the above. Make a few bucks and have fun. Why not?The original 1959 film has little going for it other than it's nostalgic cheese factor and for it's collection of great hot rods. So what's the harm in a remake? Absolutely none! And this update, still set in the 50's, is better by far, which is rare and a minor miracle, if you ask me. As bad as the acting is, which might be deliberate, the characters are more complex and interesting. The story is also a little better, the direction is much better and the cinematography is totally competent. Totally. And, even though the CGI title character is so obviously animated, that's completely predictable, so no real harm done. Besides, with a film like this, ya laugh, let it go or get angry. Viewer's choice. Convincing giant monsters in low budget films are hard to come by, anyway. All that's decent praise for a low budget, straight to TV movie.The only thing that the original has over this one is that wonderfully ridiculous opening narration, which lacks any facts or logic. It's priceless. The toxic spill accounting for the giant lizard's existence in the remake is too cliché to be any fun. No explanation would have been better, I think.The hot rods are still very cool and a couple of the chicks are an upgrade from the original. And, the soundtrack of rock n' roll oldies and contemporary rockabilly is very good, maybe even the least flawed aspect of the film.Even though it is forgettable low budget garbage, it's still pretty fun. I'll probably give it another look, one of these days.

I have to admit I am a person that looks for horrid movies for humorous value and I was not disappointed in this film when I saw the creature right off at the beginning of the movie. But I also enjoy drinking syrup of ipecac on the rocks.This is an incredibly lame re-make of the 1959 film "The Giant Gila Monster". The original directed by Ray Kellogg. The special effects in the original included a real gila monster and miniature sets. This movie includes a CGI gila monster created by "Billy" on his PC in the next door neighbors basement. He is all of 9 years old. What is even more stupefying is that it took not one, not two, not three, but four writers to steal almost the same lines and slightly modify them. The most mysterious aspect of this film is why anyone would take credit for ANYTHING in it! We are all a bunch of plagiarist and are NOT afraid that you know it. The original was mistied on MST3K and is extremely enjoyable and quite memorable. Want to learn what "blocking" is in a movie? This is the example for you. One overwhelming reason to remake this movie was someone had access to vintage cars!It is perplexing that someone thought this movie was worth remaking. If you wish to inflict intense pain upon a person you dislike, force them to view this movie. It could be a life changing event!I do not think I need that ipecac!