Locusts: The 8th Plague (2005)

Locusts: The 8th Plague is really, really bad. Now, many of these CGI-laden creature/disaster films have a goofy charm and are endearingly awful, but Locusts: The 8th Plague is simply spirit-sappingly dreadful. The plot is formulaic and there is no energy in any of the performances (but given the script, I can't say that I could find the strength or will to pull out top-drawer thesping, so they all have my sympathies and I give them the courtesy of remaining unnamed within this missive). Of course, one does not watch a film like Locusts: The 8th Plague for the actors, but the dread and thrilling insect threat, and so, do the winged fiends deliver? No, they do not. For the most part, the locusts are just indistinct shapes flitting across the screen, or rubbery insect carcasses lying about (or splattered ones on various windshields). Furthermore, the swarm is not that immense, yet the winged critters still have the power to send their victims flying in the air when only a handful crash into them. In this regard, they seem to be jet-propelled. Now, this could be a further element of their DNA tinkering, but that is probably giving the film a degree of inventiveness that it does not possess. In terms of action, when the team seek and (easily) find the elusive locust nest, the fact that they have brought guns and not enough flamethrowers makes one doubt their professional qualifications. For instance, the lead character, Vicky, bravely goes into the locusts' lair armed with only a pistol. Now, I'm no locust-busting expert, but I strongly suspect that a handgun is not going to be very effective against a horde of flesh-eating locust (loci?), and you would think that one of the intrepid crew would point this out. As for set-pieces, well, there is a fairground attack, but it raises more laughs than terror. However, there is Catatonic Boy, and Catatonic Boy will stir your emotions (it might only (probably) be your mirth centre, though), and one must not forget the Old Testament proselytising Preacher, whose biblical warnings of apocalyptic doom still continue as he becomes a locust banquet. Now that's dedication to the Lord! In terms of visuals, the CGI is really poor (the titular locusts, and especially the laughable helicopters in flight), and our hero, Colt, is not the most commanding figure that I have ever seen in such movies (where is Doug McClure when you need him?). Finally, the solution to the aerial menace is something that the nefarious creators of the mutated schistocerca gregaria could have figured out and executed themselves, and thus saved a lot of shredding time (and, of course, the numerous bodies feasted upon by the voracious and gregarious short-horned grasshoppers). So, while some bad movies deliver a myriad of pleasures, this one is just a pest.

I could have written all this off as just a mediocre low budget flick, passably entertaining if expectations are kept under control.Others have amply covered the many defects in plot holes, lousy special effects, uninspired acting, etc.However the movie went beyond all this into a pathetic attempt to turn itself into a morality play. The demons of the Greenies were summoned forth: Evil corporations. Greedy executives. Genetic manipulation. Pollution. Arrogant military. There is even a special lecture on global warming inserted lest we miss the point. (They did blessedly overlook **rrrradiation** (sound klaxon) and skipped the talking points on the blessings of tofu cakes.)And of course standing against this onslaught of evil we have Mr. Organic Pesticide Researcher, a wholesome, idealistic young man trying only to save the world for Green. And his side kick, a low level USDA employee who in one of the truly hilarious moments in the film, is given the crucial decision as to whether to approve the use of a special military unit to prevent the locusts from wiping out half of Idaho. Only if she 'signs off' can the special unit be used! Incredibly, this is a fulcrum in plot development. It's like asking someone at the airline ticket counter whether flights should be grounded on 9-11.Oh well. If you are desperate for science fiction material and have burned your way through just about everything else, this one at least has an unusual creature villain. Other than that, there are better ways to waste time than this phony Green Morality play from the Truly Clueless.

This film is mainly fine for 'made for TV' fare. The biggest problem with this movie is the horrendous cgi effects. If it were not for the absolutely unwatchable special effects, "Locusts" would be worth it for the guilty pleasure factor. I will say that I am notoriously forgiving with regard to horror films. If I was entertained at all, I figure the movie did the job for which it was intended. I would have found this one very entertaining on the level of schlocky monster of the week movies, were it not for the extremely poor use of cgi. If you have nothing better to do and happen to find it on sci-fi... go ahead and give it a watch. There is enough unintended comedy to make use of a pizza and a couple of sodas or beers.

The attack scenes and carnage left is particularly nauseating and there's David Keith once again playing the main villain. I've seen him in at least two other Sci-Fi channel movies this weekend. Give this guy rest or a casting against type! It's yet another show done by the sci-fi numbers including but not limited to: a dumb jock military group (God has any of these writers seen Aliens???) coming in with the common sense of one eighth of an amoeba's's brains and messing up the situation all the more and the two leads the only ones with all the sense and all the answers. Once again we have the villains who have the answers and won't care to provide jack-squat any. Well, God provided me with a remote. I've seen this film in it's entirety once before and don't have the endurance to watch it again.