Near Death (2004)

I have watched this film with my best friend in and around 9 times. This film I admit is lacking in a normative way, but unfortunately for Joe Castro it's lack is what makes me fall head over heels for its Ducking hilarity! If you feel the need to laugh the whole way through something take this upon yourself. By the end of it you'll be a first rate stand up comedian you'll have so many jokes. I love this film to bits. It rivals the room in my opinion, which I have fully appreciated also!watch it , watch it now.

Near Death will defiantly put you nearer to your death! This movie... i guess you would call it a movie was more like a horrible high school production between the jelly eating ghouls and the outrageous acting. I thought it would be good considering the movie cover was eye-catching and the description on the cover was alright buy BOY WAS I WRONG... it started as a bad porno and ended with bad graphics and annoying monotone actors/actresses. The directer needs to be sold and eaten by one of these damn ghouls. Billy was the only alright actor in the whole film. I would not recommend this film unless your in for a good laugh and a few inside jokes between friends. If your looking to be scared keep looking. AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COST, IT WASN'T WORTH THE $.99 IT COST TO RENT IT!

And I have no friends because I watch crappy movies like this. Come on people, this movie is awesome! The opening scene is classic. Sure, the special effects in this movie are bad, but the gore is still pretty damn good. Lots of blood, gut-eating, although the plot is very weak and the acting is pretty bad. This is a huge HUGE improvement over Terror Toons (2002). Even though I liked Terror Toons, that is an awful, awful film. This one is slightly better. The acting is a little better, and the gore is a lot better. This is pretty watchable. I also got this for free, and it is worth free. If you like low budget movies with decent gore, bad acting, bad CGI effects, dumb plots, and one hottie who never gets naked, you will probably find Near Death a stunning and fun experience. Check it out, only 3 bucks in many stores.

The film has the "cheap and cheasy" production look and feel to it:The actors are not outstanding, but two pieces of eye candy are available. The special effects are simple and cannot compete with state of the art, but they do work in a way (except for at least two scenes, where they accomplish the opposite: they do not scare you, they make you laugh).The story is not that bad, reminds me of the kind of spooky story that regularly spawns horror movies and flicks.If you like second rate horror movies, where people definitely tried to do a good job, this will be a good one for you.