The Astounding She-Monster (1957)

Saw this at my neighborhood theatre when I was seven. It not only scared me, it stayed with me in an eerie way, which I'll explain momentarily. The movie features one of those rare feminine monsters (think about it - how often were monsters women?). As I expounded on in my comments for 'Terror from the Year 5000', female monsters always frightened me much more than normal monsters and this was the first one I ever saw. To disturb my poor eight year-old psyche further, the glowing she-monster here was so shapely that I found myself feeling, um, stimulated in a certain way while simultaneously feeling stark terror! The look of her really did scare me but, unlike with most monster movies, I was unable to bring myself to close my eyes when she would appear.Around this time in my life I was taking guitar lessons at the local conservatory of music and my teacher just happened to be a nice looking woman (actually, probably a teen, but at eight who can tell the difference?). One night, while sleeping, I had a dream and the astounding she-monster made an appearance in it and for some reason she turned out to be my guitar teacher. But she was every bit as deadly and when she started toward me I woke up terrified. For the next eight years or so, this glowing apparition made intermittent appearances in my dreams and always woke me up when she did. It stopped somewhere around age seventeen (thank heaven).You would think that I would have avoided watching this source of personal nightmare, but you'd be wrong. The fact that she made appearances in my dreams just added to my fascination with this movie and I have watched it at every opportunity throughout my life. Naturally, as time marched forward, those opportunities became fewer and fewer until they stopped completely (for me) in 1984 - the last time it was run on a late-show that I know of.Recently, I was able to obtain a VHS copy. After doing so I began to wonder if there were any others who have as strange a connection to this film as I. I began with a Shirley Kilpatrick google search that eventually led me to a forum where the film had been earnestly discussed and I read through all the posts of that thread. One poster revealed that he had made a tradition of watching 'The Astounding She-Monster' once a year and another poster asked him why. Of all movies, why this one? His answer truly struck a chord within me - he said that when he watches this movie, the entire outside world disappears for him. Further, he describes how the film seems so existentially dreamlike - all that running around, ending up back in the same place over and over.Exactly right. I know just what he's talking about and for a long time I lived it repeatedly in my sleep. And by the way, I watched it last night and shivered when she appeared at the window the first time.

Gangster: "Shut up, you lousy drunk!" Floozy: "I prefer to be referred to as an alcoholic!" If you view this as a sci-fi movie, it doesn't rate. As existentialist film noir, it's off the scale. Two aging gangsters and their gin-soaked moll kidnap a Beverly Hills socialite who looks like the cadaverous victim of a 1930's vampire movie. Through a series of misadventures, they end up in a remote geologist's cabin being stalked by an iridescent stripper from outer space. Every time the alien enters the cabin, they run outside and get in the jeep. Then she corners them on the road and they run into the woods. Then she finds them in the woods and they go back into the cabin. This sequence is repeated three or four times as characters are killed one by one. Imagine "Ten Little Indians" if it had been written by Sartre instead of Agatha Christie. The socialite gets lines like, "But, Dick, isn't radium in solid form a metal?" and my favorite, "I had no idea that a geologist used so many acids in his work." The hyper dramatic voice-over for several long sequences reinforces the idea that the plot for the film was actually developed in post-production. But then, existentialist film noir should be improv, shouldn't it?

In my opinion, the "bad" movie lover has to show some discernment. Not all bad sci fi and horror movies are all that much fun to watch. For every campy gem like 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' or 'Teenagers From Outer Space' there are dozens of truly awful low (and no) budget films that are a chore to sit through. 'The Astounding She-Monster' is somewhere in between good bad and bad bad. Director Ronald Ashcroft was actually a colleague of Ed Wood and was assistant director on 'Night Of The Ghouls', but he is neither as inept nor as unintentionally hilarious as his mentor. The very slim plot concerns a good guy geologist (Robert Clarke) who finds his remote cabin invaded by some hoods who have kidnapped a rich society dame, and are planning on holding her to ransom. Pretty soon all are at the mercy of the shimmering she-monster, a glowing visitor from outer space who can kill with one touch. The monster is played by one Shirley Kilpatrick who many cult movie fans insist is actually Shirley Stoler of 'The Honeymoon Killers' fame. If this is true it is a wonderful bit of trivia, but even so the monster is an unforgettable bit of no-budget invention. Kilpatrick basically walks around in a glittery jump suit and is shown out of focus. The movie goes for just over an hour but that is long enough. More than that it would out stay its welcome. Fans of goofy 1950s SF will probably enjoy this one more than disinterested viewers. I have seen better, but I have also seen MUCH worse. I would file 'The Astounding She-Monster' under "reasonably amusing low budget sci fi schlock", and give it a half-hearted recommendation.

Whew! What a stinker!! :=8P Blurry beauty from an-udder world lands & creates havok with a group of dopey kidnappers, a screaming socialite, and a VERY lonely geologist who talks to his dog. In addition to the bad acting, poor production values, stinky lighting, and ham-handed direction, "Astounding She-Monster" also sports the worst over-eager narration this side of "Mesa of Lost Women". The sharp-eyed will spot Kenne Duncan("Night of the Ghouls", "The Sinister Urge") as idiot kidnapper #1; Robert Clarke("Hideous Sun Demon", "Beyond the Time Barrier") plays the lonely geologist, Dick Cutler. And Marilyn Harvey plays the craven socialite, Margaret Chaffee, who'se job it is to shriek like a little girl & run whenever Space Gal pops in. Speaking of Space Gal, in addition to being very blurry and silvery, her slightest touch is able to instantly kill snakes, dogs, and, ultimately, idiot kidnappers. She's "made of radium", and gives off gamma rays, or some such nonsense, but wears a skin-tight silver space suit. But the moovie is so astoundingly cheap and poor, its hard to find even the tiniest ray of hope. The MooCow says that if yer looking for a cheesy howler to share with your friends, "Astounding She-Monster" is a stinker for the record books. :=8P