Frankenstein Island (1981)

The first moment of "acting" in this film will make you feel really, really good about yourself: If these people can be in the movies, so can you! It never lets up on making the viewer feel far more talented, capable, and intelligent than all the people involved in this film, except for John Carradine and Melvin the Dog, both of whom are above the judgment of mortals. My only wish is that the musical sound track was available on Spotify so I could use it to punish my cat when I'm not home. If you continue watching until the leopard-bikini clad woman says "You are pretty," don't stop, because your wild ride of hilarity is about to attain escape velocity.

I've only seen one other Jerry Warren film (to my knowledge), "The Wild World Of Batwoman", but I would easily put him up there with Ray Dennis Steckler ("The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies?!!") as one of the top five people in Western Civilization who should never be allowed near a camera again. And I hope that at some point the poor guy who made "Robot Monster" got a chance to see this - it would have cheered him up immensely to see a film that made "RM" look like Francis Ford Coppola. What an amazing mess. Watching it is like watching 9th graders (trapped in the bodies of adults) trying to pretend they are acting out a Boris Karloff movie. The only good thing you can say for it is that the movie doesn't seem to take itself seriously - it's just trying to have a swinging good time and to entertain the audience.Watch it for the sheer novelty value only. Jerry Warren: Your guarantee of movie incoherence.

When watching this film I asked two questions...1. WHY IS THING LIKE A BAD 50'S HORROR FLICK?2. WAS THIS A TAX WRITE OFF?But when ya come down to it..it's so bad it's funny!"Ballonists" crash land on a island no one has "charted" which is inhabited by Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons!If that wasn't bad enough the Practice "witchcraft", aka dancing with fake snakes, and jiggling their bodies alot, lol!Then..they run into crazed guy left from a crashed sailing ship...who offer them a chance to go to "the house" after a cusomary groping of the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons!Soon thereafter the "Ballonists" are taken to an OBVIOUSLY fake jail facility whre they meet Jayson- a crazed sailor who has been imprisoned for 17 years and spouts alot of Poe for no reason.Soon the "Ballonists" meet Mrs. Frankenstein! She explains to them that the assistant to Doc Frankie is still alive after 200 years due to some osrt of "blood transufions" from the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons and Jayson.One of the "Ballonists" is a scientist(Of course) and gets wrapped up in helping Mrs. Frankenstein and the 1/2 alive assistant to Doc Frankie as the floating head of Doc Frankenstein, promisng the Lepoard Skin Bikinnied women called Amazons, "The power!! The power!!'Of course, for no reason, they are also making "mutants"(Guy in caps with sunglasses, that seem to be "gump-like")I won't give the ending away, you'll just have to watch this sucker!!It plays like an Ed Wood movie, and would have belived it was one, except for the fact he died in 1978!Rent it, you won't be disappointed!!

My VCR taped this movie in 1986 at 2:30am when it was supposed to be recording "Kings Row". I have never been happier at the error. Here is a film I show to old friends and new loves. It is so bad...so beyond bad, really, that this film could be a guest on Jerry Springer. Lets quickly move from the plot: stranded balloonists discover themselves on an island with Jacques Cousteau-like zombies, amazon women warriors in spandex leopard prints, and...a weird, unresolved Frankenstein motif. That aside, it is constant hilarity. Plastic pitchforks, the same we carried at Halloween as kids, are waved in front of the camera to suggest danger. A shoe box ,, painted red on the lower half and put on a gyro is the electronic brain for the monster. The actress playing Frankensteins relative, Sheila!!!, is a hoot since she is seen reading her lines from off set (behind bookcases, etc). The ending pales since the beginning is so rapturously inane and silly. It is not to be missed. Please don't turn off when the Mighty Kung Fus scenes occur...or the tiny skulls appear in a gas-lit barbeque to intimate danger. Or when poor Cameron Mitchell appears as Captian Ahab/Queeq explaining how he allowed his crew to become zombies. Best scene: at the very beginning, when the balloon crashes, the dog on board jumps off and pees on the seaweed as the titles run. Such honesty in cinema is so rare.