Missile to the Moon (1958)

MISSILE TO THE MOON is an endearingly cheesy science fiction B-movie of the 1950s. The plot concerns a group of woodenly-acted astronauts who travel to the Moon only to discover that it has a number of inhabitants. Chief of these is a race of blue-skinned warrior women dressed in the most fetching of bikini-clad ensembles (outer space women were a running theme of the decade). Also around to menace the astronauts are a giant spider borrowed from TARANTULA and a cool rock monster. Oh, and the Sun is powerful enough to burn people down to a skeleton. There's a lot of fun involved here if you don't mind poor production values, laughable acting and effects, and so-bad-it's-good entertainment.

No need to recap the storyline. I think it was put together by cartoonists on a barstool.At least this mess is fun to look at. Shapely blue women, big hairy spiders, humanoid rock men, all in candy box colors, especially the goofy court scenes. Looks like production spent 90% on sets and costumes, 9% on the cast (mostly sexy amateurs), and 1% on script. Now if someone would please wake up actor Travis. He's got all the liveliness of a highschool boy flunking geometry. Good thing for switchblade delinquent Tommy Cook who's somewhat motivated. And see if you agree—actor Clarke as good boy Lon looks like a skinny James Dean. Anyway, I can only imagine what pro's like Travis, Downs, and Stevens thought when they read the script. No wonder Travis acts like a condemned man.I'm still a bit puzzled about production versus script. Surely the producers expected only laughs and lust from the storyline, so why go extra expense for the fancy settings. On the whole, the latter are pretty well outfitted compared to the plot. On the other hand, drive-in contemporary Roger Corman knew how to combine the two into campy fun. Unfortunately, the results here cause more head-scratching than campy laughs. Meanwhile, color me blue, stamp my ticket, and wish me luck. I'm on my way to meet the moon maidens.(In passing-- If I recall correctly, The Lido was a fancy Paris nightclub that featured a parade of sexy show girls, which sort of fits here.)

Missile To The Moon has to be one of the wilder science fiction films the Fifties came out with. It has cheesy special effects, lousy plot, scantily clad females, and a dying civilization. All the ingredients to make a cult classic.Michael Whalen and Richard Travis have constructed themselves a moon rocket that they have in Whalen's backyard. Government funds have shut down the project. But Whalen is going back to the moon, yes I said back because he came here years ago from there on a secret mission. The lack of a crew is remedied by Whalen drafting a pair of escaped convicts Gary Clarke and Tommy Cook who've busted out of jail and took refuge in Whalen's space ship. Amazing how fast one can get astronaut training in a pinch. Travis and his girlfriend Cathy Downs also come on board and the five get to the moon.Whereupon they find a shrinking civilization living in caves led by Queen K.T. Stevens. I can't go into the rest but in the short time this film runs we meet rock monsters, giant spiders, and a doomed moon with only women running things. That's what Whalen was sent to earth for, to get a spaceship so they can all escape.In a word this film is bizarre. In fact all the players look like they're in terrible need of ExLax. I would to if I had to summon up enough abilities to make this story any kind of credible. It gets two stars from me, the second star for the sheer audacity of bringing this one to the big screen. It must have been drive-in hoot in 1958.

And a remake of THE QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE.....let alone CATWOMEN OF THE MOON...all of which of course I loved. This one has some funny wobbly foam rock-men and the most hilarious big spider I have ever seen. The spaceship has army disposal double bunks and the two escapee crims are lewd and bumpkin level drowsy in that order. Even the 3 year old I was babysittng had to see it several times to believe it all. Tracy Turnblad level of showgirl Hairdoos and a dance number musical number using only a tambourine and bongos for music gives accurate indication to the fantastic cheapness of this demented extravaganza. Miss Hungary appears along with Miss Miami at one stage, I think. Awesome!