The Perfect Bride (1991)

The name "Perfect Bride" is a misnomer - should have called the movie "Psycho Bride" - how was the bride perfect? The bride just wanted to kill anyone who was suspicious or got in her way. Sammi Davis (the bride Stephanie) had decent acting chops but with a weak script she wasn't very convincing as a revenging bride-to-be; her victims were too easy to kill, boring to watch and after an hour into the picture, the story became too predictable. Kelly Preston's (Laura) acting was decent but not a stellar performance. Supporting roles were weak, plot was tired, and the movie's final scene ended abruptly. A good movie is a collaborative effort so it would not be fair to say this movie was weak because of the actors; the director and the screenplay writer should share the blame for this bland movie.

...while engaging in social drinking. To all the naysayers out there who insist a movie ought to be judged on it's merits alone, I would invite you to watch this movie with a group of people who don't mind stepping outside and missing any plot points, not that this movie provides many, and really get into the luscious Velveeta that this movie is. It has so many "don't go through that door!" moments that this movie becomes something more of a good backdrop to a good party than it would ever make as a serious thriller. The acting, well, seems like acting. The victims you knew would die even before it is hinted, the method of elimination, always the same. Ordinarily I wouldn't T give this two shakes, but it really does grow on you if you remember that a movie can be more than just a movie-it can be background music for something much more.If that's not enough, stick around for the obviously marked sluts who get theirs.

One of the top worst ever on TV. Story, cast, directing, writing all bad bad bad. Of course it's good to see Kelly Preston, who is the only saving grace in this. With what she's given to do she does. In the writing department, after her struggle with the villain and her brother slashed, does she call the police? Was there 911 then? No, she walks through the house as a target to the heavy who's waiting for her. Unbelievable she didn't call for help for her brother lying on the floor having been stabbed in the abdomen.Another bad choice is having the witch come into a public hospital and block the tubes up so the patient will die. Don't hospitals have monitors keeping track of these machines to know when there's danger? The witch stood there for what seemed eternity while the patient died. Nonsense.Another bad choice is when the Caterer having been attacked by our lovely witch and escaped brandishing a knife goes searching for her even to going out of the house, after she sees her leave. Ever hear of locking the doors and calling police? Nonsense.Linden Ashby plays the unsuspecting bridegroom and Sammi Davis the witch. And what a surprise to see John Agar, Shirley Temple's ex playing Gramps. He was so bad, he was funny. It's also a case where the bridegroom is prettier than the bride. Sammi Davis just isn't it in the looks department and also not good in the acting department. I think the family deserved her. They were so stupid not to see her for what she was. She was that obvious. And with people dropping dead all over the place. And one of the family friends, a cop.A waste of celluloid, believe me.

SPOILERS.Men and women are different. Yes, I'm afraid it's true. Women like to talk about things, especially relationships. There are intrigues, exiles, confidantes, the sharing of secrets with best friends. Men like to do things. They compete for power, they define themselves by their actions, they are uncomfortable with self revelation or attempts at insight. That's why it's so neat when a man and a woman go out on a dinner date. They can both do what they enjoy doing. The woman can talk and the man can eat. This is a woman's story -- all about secrets, victimization, and so forth. Sammi Davis, a name to conjure with, is a murderous blonde who offs her husbands on their wedding nights. Everyplace she goes, she seems to leave a string of corpses behind but nobody notices except Kelly Preston, whose brother Davis is about to marry. Kelly snoops and digs up evidence of Davis's past but of course no one believes her, especially not her family, so she begins sounding like someone who is a few clowns short of a circus. In the end everyone comes to their senses and realizes how right she was all along, of course, because this is a woman's fantasy. I don't think we ever find out what the prospective bride groom does for a living. (Working is behaving, not talking.) The ending turns into a routine slasher thing with Davis pursuing Preston through the house with a butcher knife. Preston hides in the attic. The potential victim must always hide from the murderer either in a dark attic or a dark cellar. That's from Section 12B-1 of the screenwriter's code.The acting. Absolutely awful. Not one believable word is uttered on screen. It's barely a notch above what we find in skin flicks, or what I prefer to call "cinema erotique." (Sorry, I can't find the accents for those "e"s.) Sammi Davis is execrable, but then they all are, from the talent all the way on down to the lowest atmosphere person. John Agar, as the semi-senile "Gramps," is SO bad he's actually funny. Kelly Preston is good-looking in an ordinary way. Sammi Davis, however, has a memorable face, a strangely vulpine set of features, big jaw, broad nose, crossed eyes. It's really too bad she can't act because her looks have character that her voice lacks. I guess I won't go on about this. I sat through it fascinated because I needed to know if it was as shallow as it all seemed to be. It was like rubbernecking at a highway accident full of twisted metal and body parts. Sammi Davis is even given a ten-cent motive for all those killings. (We see several flashbacks leading up to this revelation.) Her mother, deserted by her father, slits her own wrists and dies on the bathroom floor, but not before telling Sammi -- "Don't ever let any man do to you what your father did to me." If you think you might enjoy seeing a well-done version of this story, one that's better in every respect, and not just because of higher production values, see "Black Widow." It's a movie in which we never do find out why Theresa Russell kills all her mates, because such an explanation is impossible. Outside of comic books, anyway.