Angel of Death (1985)

Written by the legendary Jess Franco and directed by Andrea Bianchi (Burial Ground), Angel of Death (AKA Commando Mengele) is a dreadfully inept Euro action flick that is nowhere near as sleazy, gory or trashy as it should have been given subject matter and the 'talent' involved, and which consequently bores for almost its entire runtime.The film stars Antonio Mayans as Marc, a Nazi hunter on the trail of the notorious German doctor Josef Mengele (Howard Vernon), who is alive and well, creating mutant monkey men in his laboratory. Assembling a team that includes an explosives/weapons expert, a martial artist, a circus acrobat, and an electronics wizard, Marc must gather evidence before launching an attack on Mengele's heavily guarded fortress.Incredibly uneventful for most of the time, I kept telling myself that it must get better eventually, but that simply wasn't the case. After lots of excruciatingly dull Nazi nonsense, with not a single credible performance from the entire cast (a chimpanzee steals the show), the film finally gets to the action packed finale in which almost everyone dies. Sadly, an opportunity to go overboard with the blood and guts is sorely missed, most of the extras simply falling unconvincingly to the ground with red paint on their shirts.

Devoted cult film fanatics already know better than to pay any attention to the low ratings of obscure and infamous titles around this website, but I would still like to emphasize the fact that the miserable 2.1 out of 10 rating for "Commando Mengele" should be disregarded blindly! Despite being a total rip-off of "The Boys from Brazil", despite the involvement of reputedly awful European film-makers (like Jess Franco and Andrea Bianchi) and despite the at times intolerably high level of tackiness, this is one outrageously entertaining and delightfully provocative gem! It's a bad film but in the best possible way: dumb but never boring, full of plot holes and incoherent as can be, gory and vile but never shocking and boosting acting performances that are even worse than those in a kindergarten play. A young couple discovers the hideout place of the fugitive Nazi monster Dr. Mengele in a remote little Uruguayan mountain and promptly he doesn't like unwelcome visitors. The girl dies but this guy Marc teams up with a former nightclub dancer who Mengele selected as his mistress. Whilst awaiting green light from the Jewish Nazi-hunters commando to attack, Marc gathers together a specialist fighting unit containing an acrobat, an artillery expert, a martial arts champion and a technician, all of which have a personal score to settle with the Nazi butcher. But they'll have to hurry up, as Mengele and his sidekick Wolfgang have readily developed plans to found The Fourth Reich. "Commando Mengele" is fast-paced and full of crazy action, but you'll have the most fun spotting all the things that are just plain wrong! Like all the contradictions in the script, for example, or the fact Howard Vernon (a Jess Franco regular) didn't even bother to do some research regarding Mengele's appearance! Vernon looks and acts like his own usual self, without a fake mustache or a trying to talk with a German accent. The finale is one fantastically spectacular smörgåsbord of action and crazy twists, and in the end we STILL don't know for sure whether the bastard is dead or not! Awesome stuff.

Name-brand actors co-star with clowns who often worked for Jess Franco in this Dr. Mengele story; the end result gives THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL no competition whatsoever. Fernando Rey and Jack Taylor are Nazi hunters while Christopher Mitchum is a crippled American mercenary employed by Mengele (Howard Vernon.) The pretty young agent who infiltrates Mengele's stronghold is played by an actress named Dora Doll–I kid you not! She gets to see the pathetic results of Mengele's genetic experiments before being beaten and thrown in a cage. The only mutant we get to see is a chimp-man who probably could have made a better movie. Taylor and friends attack the compound in an assault that tries, without success, to match the finale of THE WILD BUNCH. Director Andrea Bianchi apparently had a surplus of blood-squibs; the bullet holes are big and bloody and the red stuff sprays through the air by the gallon, literally painting the screen crimson. However, guns are aimed at soldiers' chests and they suffer head wounds, and Taylor walks out of an exploding building without a scratch. Too bad the real Josef Mengele didn't live long enough to sit through this howler—such torture would have been partial payback for his crimes against humanity.

This movie is horrible, awful, ridiculous, and stupid. I advise everyone to watch it immediately. It has anti-climactic kung-fu slow motion sequences, outraged Jewish circus performers, and evil monkey/human nazi experiments. Watch this and I promise you will be dumber after having seen it. You will probably drop out of college or high school once you behold the magic that is Angel Of Death (aka Commando Mengele). Oh yeah, it was written by Jess Franco and directed by Andre Bianci (Burial Ground: Nights Of Terror).