Jet Attack (1958)

I had wanted to see this movie for years, after reading about it in the notorious book "The Fifty Worst Films Of All Time" - it sounded like it was hilariously inept. It recently played on AMC, so I finally got to see it. Is it as hilariously inept as I imagined it to be? It certainly has its share of unintended laughs. There's a LOT of obvious stock footage, the funniest being when we see the neon nightlife of Tokyo - when the scene is taking place in Seoul, Korea! There's also a plane that crashes into flames at high speed, and there's a survivor. The wilderness doesn't look anything like Korea. There's comic relief that fails so badly it becomes funny, and there are other script-written ineptness like jet pilots recruited for a commando performance and scientific talk that makes no sense.Clearly, the movie has its share of unintended laughs. But is it one of the worst movies of all time? Of course not. It's not inept enough. Much of the movie is mediocre tedium, not inspired enough for laughs or to be considered a movie that's so bad it's BAD. While I guess I'm glad I finally saw it (I'm trying to watch all 50 movies from that book), I don't think other viewers will find enough to entertain them, either intentionally or unintentionally.

**SPOILERS** Voted back in 1978 as one of the 50 worst movies of all times "Jet Attack" doesn't let its audience of bad movie aficionados down in living up to its well deserved title. The utterly ridicules plot has USAF top gun Capt. Tom Arnett, John Agar, and his assistant Let.Claiborne, Gregory Wallcott, together with radioman Chick "Meathead" Lane, Nicky Blair, dropped behind North Korean/Red Chinese lines to rescue top US electronic expert Dean Olmstead, Joseph Hamilton. It was Olmstead who got lost in his observation plane and ended up getting shot down when he strayed over enemy lines. Landing in the middle of a North Korean ambush the boys are rescued by a group of friendly South Korean guerrillas lead by the fearless Capt. Chon, Victor Sen Yung, who takes them to his secret hideout deep in the Korean woods. It at the hideout that we get to meet an old flame of Capt. Arnett Soviet nurse Tanya Nikova, Audrey Totter, who's secretly working for the US as a spy. It's also there that Meathead who seems to be, with his unintelligible beatnik-like rambling, on some kind of very strong and exotic weed gets to meet the sexy Korean hula dancer Muju, Stalla Lynn. Muju not only gets Meathead distracted with her hot and sexy dance number but unable to keep on message, or mission, in rescuing Olmstead from the North Koreas. The Commies have the critically injured Olmstead hidden in a secret MASH-like military hospital deep behind their front-lines. It's feared by the US military bass that if Olmstead is made to talk by his North Korean captors he'll reveal the secret that he discovered about radio waves, in tracking attacking aircraft, that will in effect give the Commies, North Korean & Red Chinese, the edge in winning the now stalemated Korean War!Finally with the help of Tanya the boys find where the Commies are holding Olmstead and after a wild gun battle make it to a North Korean military air field. It's there that their to be rescued by helicopter by Capt. Arnett's good friend Let. Sandy Wilkinson, James Dobson. In another wild shootout with the North Koreans Sandy's copter is shot down, with him badly wounded, thus having both Sandy and Cap. Arnett together with the stretcher bound Olmstead make their escape on two hijacked North Korean MIGS!***SPOILERS*** Having no trouble at all in operating the very difficult MIGS, whom both Capt. Arnett and Let. Sandy Wilkinson never flew before, The captain and his passenger Dean Olmstead easily make it back to base-with the exception of Sandy who died ramming an attacking Commie MIG-despite not having on pilot helmets or oxygen masks that are a must in being able to successfully and safely operate the fighter planes!

If you're a fan of Mr. Agar, you might derive some small enjoyment out of his leading man role in this film and his character's (an all American pilot named Captain Tom Arnett) unlikely on-screen romance with Audrey Totter's Russian double agent character named Tanya Nikova. Also there a few amusing scenes featuring Nickly Balir as Radioman Chick 'Meathead' Lane.Aside from that, this is a very disappointing Korean war film with an unlikely premise - one in which far too many people are killed to try and save one man.

Poor acting from the supporting cast throughout the entire picture and footage of Tokyo at night meant to be Seoul (two quick cuts at the beginning) make it quickly apparent how this one was made on the cheap. Taped this off of AMC and thought about keeping it just for Cold War culture kitsch value, but it's so bad that I think I'm not going to even keep it for that.