The Day the Earth Froze (1959)

I stumbled upon this movie thanks to Mystery Science Theater and I can safely say I could never sit through this movie without the MST3K guys riffing on it left and right. Other reviewers have mentioned the American version (what??) is worse than the Finnish-Russian version. What's the difference? It's the same movie! Even if the dubbing was bad, having better dubbing would not make the movie better. I couldn't even tell what the plot was. This movie was about as confusing as another Russian toilet creation called Jack Frost, which I also stumbled upon thanks to Mystery Science Theater. If some people call this a classic, I'd love to know what they consider a bad movie.

Evil witch Louhi (wizened old crone Anna Orochko) kidnaps sweet fair maiden Annikki (lovely blonde Eva Kivi) from her peaceful village in order to get her rugged blacksmith and magician brother Ilmarinen (solid Ivan Voronov) to build her a magical device known as a sampo. After honest, decent woodmans Lemminkainen (likable Andris Oshin) and Ilmarinen rescue Annikki from Louhi's vile clutches, the wicked old hag retaliates by stealing the sun and putting the village in a permanent state of dark bitter cold. Director Aleksandr Ptushko relates the compelling and imaginative story at a steady pace and does a sound job of maintaining a pleasant, charming tone throughout. Moreover, there's a cool sense of quirky creativity evident in the narrative: Among the funky oddball touches are a field of deadly snakes that Lemminkainen has to plow, a killer flying cloak, a whiny talking tree and talking road, and the villagers making magic harps to combat the witch with. Best of all, the simple and straightforward plot about good versus evil proves to be quite engaging thanks to its refreshing lack of pretense. Igor Morozov's sweeping, dramatic score, Marvin Miller's melodious narration, the nifty special effects, and the crisp cinematography by Gennadi Tsekavy and Viktor Yakushev all further enhance the considerable appeal of this nice little movie.

Dull, confusing Finnish piece of crap about some obscure bit of Norse mythology involving a weird magical device called a Sampo? The gist of the story seems to be that an extremely mannish(who was actually played by a woman!)witch kidnaps the pretty sister of a legendary(at least locally)smith and forced him to create one of these odd machines so that she can use it to make salt, or gold, or streusel, or something. The main hero is not the smith but this guy named Lemon-Kynin(or at least that's what it sounded like). This useless idiot tries to retrieve the Sampo after they save the girl, and manages to wiz it thoroughly. He ends up destroying the thing, after which the whole village celebrates his failure happily.There's some weird bits about the witch having the four winds in Hefty bags in her cavern/castle, and the 'hero's' Mom talking to a whiny complaining birch and an equally whiny bit of road about her idiot son. Then the witch 'steals' the sun in retaliation, don't ask me how she accomplished that. So everything gets really, really cold(so how is that any different from any other day in Finland?), and the villagers fashion harps(harps?!) and use them to defeat the witch and release the sun. That's what I call a Just Don't Ask situation. The color in the film is so washed out it looked like somebody spilled a can of 7-Up on it. The dubbing is atrocious, and the character names hysterical. While it isn't quite as naturally funny as Jack Frost, it's still pretty amusing.

Directed by Russian fantasy film maker Alexander Ptushko, so you can count on striking visuals and lots of in-camera effects (lots of dissolves, split screens etc.) Despite cheesy dubbing this film still holds much of its fantastical charm. It has a look similar to German expressionist works like Fritz Lang's 'Siegfried' or Murnau's 'Faust'. It also strikes me as possibly inspirational to Guy Madden's films such as 'Tales of the Gimli Hospital' or 'Careful'. (Its antiquated appearance is only enhanced by the poor faded color present in the prints I've seen. Definitely worthy of a Ruscico DVD restoration/release) After watching my non MST3K'O'd copy, I just can't get that crazy harp theme from the film's climax out of my head. One of the most persistent tunes since "In Heaven" from Eraserhead. "SAMPO...SAMPO...SAMPO!"