Royal Kill (2009)

Spoiler Alert!!! All that build up for a twisted waste of time! I mean Adam turning into Nadia is not a turn on but a stupid waste of time. Seriously why would the movie build up a bad guy and good guy when they are both the same damn person! There were no existence of ninjas to be seen anywhere so the point of calling it Ninja's Creed is just a coax so you could hope that maybe this movie has a chance but no! It is a waste of my whole family's time! I would rather castrate myself than ever see this turd that wont flush of a film! I really feel raped like I just got out of prison and cant wipe without feeling dirty! I wonder if the director was smoking some Ganja cause the script was stupider than Eric Roberts looks. The long hair is overdone and so is this stupid movie! Thanks for reading this now go find a better movie to watch! 0 out of 10.

1. Acting - Eric Roberts and the young girl were OK but only in comparison to the dire acting by everyone else. 2. Production/Editing - What type of film medium was this recorded on... it was so grainy and unprofessional looking. The editing was slightly better than "woeful", utilising both speeding up movement and continuous jump shots making it hard to see anything except that one wrestling move. Also there was only about one and a half fight scenes to edit.3. Writing - It's like the writer woke up one day and decided to take a dump all over the script which is a shame because the premise was OK and the twist (If done right) would have been decent.4. CGI - There was no point in wasting money on it. It was terrible and not used often so when it was used it stood out like a spare nipple.5. Budget - What the hell did the $350,000 go on? No point in that big mountain helicopter shot, no need for bad CG, why hire Eric Roberts when that money could have been used on better equipment, lead characters and at least one light for that church part. They clearly only paid Eric Roberts for like an hour, he never changed his appearance even in the flash backs... he's not cheep and that money could have been used elsewhere.6. Sound- The location sound and the voice over was rubbish but the music was OK.

Wow, this movie get's no love. Come on people, look deeper. At the beginning of this movie I, too, smiled to myself thinking "here we go again." I fully expected a movie full of cheese. And I wasn't completely wrong. A lot of the lines were unnecessary and overdone, and some of the acting came off as silly, but the script is actually kind of brilliant. Now, I'm not gonna lie, it took two viewings of this movie for me to really understand it's content. The first time I watched it I actually found myself getting really angry. I thought "What kind of movie does this to it's audience. What kind of movie makes us care for its characters only to betray our trust." When Adam killed Jan I found myself staring at the screen, open mouthed. If I recall, my exact thought was "No! no, no, no...what?" The first viewing ended with me desperately trying to figure out exactly what had happened. I had kind of figured it out, but questions still remained. So, I watched it again. And by the end of this viewing I understood. My anger had disappeared and had been replaced by genuine appreciation. This movie is truly unique. Although some things could have been done better, the end product is something of wonder. In the world of Hollywood where nothing truly new ever seems to appear, this movie stands out. It is a story that's never been told before and that's what makes it special.

That's all I could think of watching this mess.The plot line is that an imaginary Himalayan Country is being overrun by an equally fictional evil empire. The last princess of was hidden in America with Eric Roberts. An evil assassin is sent to America to kill her, but a warrior is sent to protect her.SPOILER ALERT! SKIP TO NEXT REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO FEEL THE PAIN FOR YOURSELF! Oh, wait, no, sorry, this is all the delusion in the head of a minimum wage security guard. You will find yourself profoundly disappointed if you invest anything into this terminator light movie.Let's talk about Pat Morita's Zombie, eh? Pat, famous as Arnold from Happy Days and Mr. Miyagi, died in 2005. That didn't keep him from appearing in this mess. His appearances are obviously some footage being recycled and dubbed over like a Godzilla movie, with edits of the actors spliced in between. Think Bela Lugosi in Plan 9 from Outer Space. With less dignity. Then you have Gail Kim. Can't give her the same leeway. Okay, she was playing a hallucination, but the fight choreography was kind of dull. And she can't act. Wooden, hissing voice, mumbles her lines, has absolutely no sensuality for a woman who is kind of attractive. Did I mention the inability to act part? Eric Roberts and the young girl playing his daughter are likable and putting forth an effort, and your sympathies are with them. Which just makes the final resolution of the plot (they were pointlessly killed as part of this IDIOT'S delusion) that much more awful.So if you read this review and rent this abortion anyway, you have no one to blame but yourself!