Blubberella (2012)

Lindsay Hollister is the lead actress playing a half human / half vampire living in 1940 Nazi Germany... in her perfectly normal 2011 apartment with a smartphone, net access, Mac computer and I do know what insert Apple product here... Yes it's that kind of movie. The movie is a shot for shot parody of Blood Rayne 3. I think you can guess what the joke is from that horrendous title.Sadly this movie only works as an inside joke as all the "funny" bits were simply to change one thing from the shot of the original movie. If you don't have that movie memorize or even bothered to see it then you won't get the joke... and see how anti humor it is. Make no mistake. This movie is offensive and the director went that extra mile to humiliate the lead actress for being plus size because.... I don't know maybe he thinks pointing at people that aren't stick figures is funny? It's a shame because she's actually good and totally wasted in this heap of trash. Then you have Willam Belli who is simply FABULOUS! but no, here he is made to act the typical 90's gay friend and then black face... there is an actor with black face in a 2011 movie. I'm serious!This movie was bad, offensive and weird. If you know what you're in for then you'll get a few laughs out of it. Mostly for the wrong reasons but you can still have some stupid fun with it. If on the other hand you are unfamiliar with this director's work or blood rayne then take out your electric fan and will the stench of this heap away. You WILL hate it .

I love-hate Uwe Boll. That's the best way to describe my feelings towards him.I absolutely hate the man, and I hate his films as honest attempts at art. However, I do love the "character" of Uwe Boll, and I love his films in an ironic, "so bad, they're good" kind of way.So I came into "Blubberella" from a fairly open place, expecting if nothing else, an amusingly-awful film. The problem is, this is an attempt at a comedy. When a film is meant to be serious, and it fails, it usually works in that sort-of ironic way because it's failed drama ilicits unintentional laughs. However, a bad comedy just sucks, because it fails in every respect. A failed dramatic scene can work if it becomes so bad, it's funny. However, no matter what, an unfunny joke is never funny, even in an unintentional way. It's just painful.And that's this film in a nutshell- painful and full of unfunny jokes.For some background, this film was shot at the same time as another of Boll's films, "BloodRayne III: The Third Reich", which was actually one of his better films, because he understood that it wasn't a good movie, and simply tried to make it entertaining. Hence, it worked as mindless thrills with lots of blood and sex, like a 70's exploitation film. I'd actually recommend it, it's a lot better than the first two, which were just foul.This film shares the entire same cast and crew as that film, and re-uses all of the sets, props and costumes. This film was basically made to be a cheap cash-in- Boll could film two movies for the price of one and release them separately.Lindsay Hollister stars as the title character "Blubberella", whose hobbies include eating and killing Nazi's. She's a damphire- a half-human, half-vampire living in Nazi Germany during World War II. She spends her time killing Nazi's, mainly to steal their food it seems. (Her opening kill features her slaughtering a Nazi for his sub-sandwich) Hollister, to her credit, at least tries, and is perky and fun, but the script is so sloppy, there's no enjoyment in her performance. Other actors include Clint Howard, Brendan Fletcher and Michael Pare, and they all give lukewarm-to-craptastic performances. Nobody really has their heart in this, and they're all about two seconds from looking at the camera and apologizing to the viewer for this filth.There is a vague attempt at a plot, including a resistance group or something (I don't know specifics, I only watched the first half, and I wasn't paying attention, it was so dull), but it's all just a scam to cram a lot of bad stereotype jokes down our throat.There is almost nothing to say about this film, good or bad. It's just bland. Also, a lot of the jokes are too random and have no structure. Despite taking place in WWII, Blubberella has a laptop computer and uses a Jewish dating website, there are passing references to Elvis Presley and George W. Bush, etc. Sure, anachronistic humor can be funny, but it has to have a basis within the reality of the film, and there is no attempt at setting up any internal logic here.There's also a lot of horrible stereotyping of groups such as the obese, gays, etc, and it's really offensive. And not in the good way, where taboos are pushed and ideas are parodied, but more in a grade-school bully kind of way. There's no love or respect in the offensive humor- you get the feeling that Boll really is just very jaded and spiteful and hateful of everyone he makes fun of.There's nothing to say about this film beyond that. It's 80-or-so minutes of unfunny, offensive stereotyping, and is extremely cheaply made. It's one of Boll's worse films (though from from his absolute worse), and isn't worth checking out. Skip it. A 1 out of 10.

Uwe Boll, you love him or you hate him but this flick is utterly trash. I guess that they had a lot of fun making this flick. It features Nazis and let that be the most important part in Bloodrayne 3. So it's clear that they filmed it back to back with Bloodrayne 3.The script doesn't go anywhere but the acting was by some okay. I kept watching it to see where something is happening and the few things that happen is one vampire attack, one corpse of a vampire being investigated by some kind of perverted doctor and some nude chicks walking around. I didn't laugh a bit with the comedy or jokes or even situations. The only thing that saved this turkey is Lindsay Hollister (Blubberella) and Brendan Fletcher (Rampage). The idea was okay but what a mess it became.Gore 0/5 Nudity 1/5 Effects 1/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 1/5

Apparently this steaming mound of horse manure was hastily compiled together from some improvised scenes a few people put together whilst working on another rubbish film about Nazis.So imagine the half decent film set unused for the afternoon... the director thinks it's a good idea to make use of it (all the money he's already spent), and make a quick film on the side. He grabs a few of the actors (extras), including the poor girl shamefully cast as 'Blubberella' and so it begins.I can imagine Uwe Boll, the 'director' must of hastily scribbled down his 'script' on the back of some rolling papers. It's quite obvious that he tries to squeeze in everything that will make the uneducated film fans amongst us fall for - vampires, Nazis, zombies, sword fights, explosions etc.. without giving any thought as to how they remain relevant to the story.So I imagine he put all these ideas in a bucket, used the bucket as a toilet and then tried to stitch the elements loosely together to make the snooze inducing script.And so Blubberella ("Half human, half vampire, Mostly dough") is born like a giant fart.. and unfortunately for this already sick planet it shall remain lingering around poisoning the eyes of viewers for years thanks to DVD and Blu-ray and the internet. It's much harder to erase a film from history than it is to make it but I may just spend my life trying to destroy every copy of Blubberella. One day you'll thank me.In a nutshell, this movie stinks.