Jurassic Shark (2012)

Ignore all the other comments, this movie is the best of all time. Never have I seen a shark jump out of water, eat a person, and executes a perfect 180 in mid air only to dive back in the water. This movie was well casted, had brilliant acting, a convincing plot, and an ending leaving you thirsty for more. The only drawback is all of the scantly clad women in the movie. Women on beaches shouldn't be depicted as objects or eye candy. This movie is an awesome indication of future weaponry and how guns can now float in water. The military shop adopt such weaponry. Krystal and I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. If you would like to discuss this movie further hit me up on facebook at Sebron Aikens... As always enjoy this masterpiece of a movie.

It may sound like a troll review, but if you have a movie night with the theme of sharks, lasers, and other crap, this movie is a must see. The effects, the acting, and the story are on the lower end of the spectrum, but with enough beer some friends it is quite fun to watch. So in the end, I will never watch it again, but under the right circumstances, it is a great movie.

This film begins with a short "educational" essay in which we're informed the Megalodon lived 2 million years ago. Then the title "Jurassic Shark" appears. Playing on the public's ignorance? Nope. No playing here. This is the real thing and you'd better believe it! Please don't tell me you bought this film thinking it had something to do with the "Jurassic Park" franchise. If so then I should point out to you that "Raiders of the Lost Shark" has nothing to do with Indiana Jones. Oh yes, and it's the Earth that actually goes around the Sun.Now to the plot. After a couple of girls are chomped and a lot of scientists have finished shouting at each other, we find ourselves on an island where a Megalodon is living in a lake. Unfortunately a group of men in black vests (obviously some kind of secret society) are holding some bikini girls at gun-point demanding they dive into the shark-infested water to retrieve a stolen painting. In a way it's kind of "Lake Placid", except that "Lake Placid" had a scary monster created with something more powerful than a my-first-computer-graphics package, interesting characters and a plot that made some kind of sense.This movie avoids a one-star rating purely because of its humorous and ironic coda which seems to have had more thought put into it than the previous hour-and-a-half. Something may have survived, but I doubt it was the career of anyone involved with this.

So...seriously, where do I start? The dreadful acting, poor camera angles, bad lighting, lengthened scenes. Nothing in this film deserves any praise, because I cannot recall a suspenseful moment, and that is extremely bad for a film which somehow lasts 90 minutes. For starters, the two blonde bimbos at the beginning, go into the water, but just splash around pointlessly like two kids in a public swimming pool. Then the director Brett Kelly wants us to believe that the two blondes, who are extremely close to the shore, get eaten by sharks. A shark would never swim that close to the shore line (common sense needed!) The rest of the film was painfully similar, and even with a low budget, it could have been a lot better. One point of redemption is that the film is vaguely laughable in parts, but again this is not because of humorous lines but because of bad acting, so the funny parts were unintentional. The music was also a little predictable, but at least it was generally in time with occurrences in the film. Despite knowing it had a poor rating, I was still shocked by how bad it was. I'd advise you not to watch it, for your own sanity.