The Pirates of Blood River (1962)

Pirates of Blood River has to be the only pirate movie I can remember watching that takes place entirely on land. Okay, there is a shot of a random ship at sea, but that's it – no raising the sails, no skull and cross bones atop a mast, no walking the plank, no cannons firing at the King's galley, no shark infested waters, etc. I suppose you could argue that some of the action does take place in a river, but to my way of thinking, a four foot deep spit of water that the cast spends less than five minutes in hardly qualifies. This being Hammer, it's a pretty safe bet that a full-fledged pirate ship would have cost more coin than the studio was willing to put up. However, even if these aren't your traditional pirates, that doesn't mean the movie isn't enjoyable, because I had quite a good time with it. Screenwriters John Hunter and John Gilling have thrown just about everything you can think of into the movie. The plot is all over the place and never gets old or tiring. The story involves a band of pirates that attack a Puritan-like village in search of gold. In addition to this rather simple outline, the movie includes a hard labor penal colony complete with emaciated old guys with sledge hammers and wagon loads of rock, a river full of piranha, a father who finds his son guilty of adultery and all but condemns him to death, two pirates fighting with swords while blindfolded, and a series of booby traps the villagers spring on the pirates. Gilling, who is also the director, keeps things moving at a nice pace. It's a lot of fun from start to finish. The cast is first rate – in fact, it's one of the best casts Hammer ever assembled, especially given the film's modest budget. Christopher Lee is as menacing as ever in the role of pirate chief LaRoche. I really got a kick out of his French accent. Kerwin Matthews is the male lead on the good guys side. He's more than capable in the role. Badass Oliver Reed is also on hand, though his role is limited. Also in the cast are Hammer regulars Andrew Keir and Michael Ripper, James Bond regular Desmond Llewelyn, Glen Corbett (easily the weakest link in the cast), Peter Arne, Marla Landi and other recognizable faces. Overall, Pirates of Blood River is miles from Hammer's normal output, but in this case, that's not such a bad thing. I'll give it a 7/10.

I taped Pirates of Blood River off TCM only because it showed just before Morgan the Pirate w/ Steve Reeves, which I'd seen as a boy, but my appetite was whetted when the first credit indicated it was a Hammer Film. For post-boomers' information, Hammer was a unique studio from the late 50s through the 60s. The studio's most characteristic films were in the horror genre. The plots of these films featured stereotypical characters, dubious motivations, and exploitative outcomes. But the studio had a distinctive "house style" that featured lush colors, accomplished acting, and, for those Anglophilic times (Beatles, Stones, 007), nubile Brit babes displaying rosy cleavage. Sometimes the parts all clicked. A deep memory is of being home from college in NC around 1970 and walking with friends through the cold to a surviving downtown theater to see "Dracula Has Risen From the Grave." We expected a campy hoot-film but ended up marveling at its quality--haven't seen it since.Point: given the convenience of a fast-forward button, I'll take a chance on any Hammer Film. Pirates of Blood River is outside Hammer's standard horror genre, but the very opening has the studio's look even if it's set on a lush island rather than in a Gothic castle. The color is rich, and the Maggie character with whom Kerwin Matthews dallies displays the overripe buxomness that was among the studio's signatures. Her escape from her angry husband and other Huguenot elders into a body of water where she is eaten by piranhas earns the film's "Blood River" title.After that opening, it's not much of a pirate film or a Hammer film, and the Huguenot historical framework remains undeveloped. A painted-in pirate ship appears in one gorgeous landscape shot, but otherwise the pirates grow peckish as they attack a village on foot and carry a golden statue of a Huguenot leader back to the river. Christopher Lee and Oliver Reed, who would later play Dracula, Mummy, and Werewolf in other Hammer Films, embellish their characters with stylish physicality, but most of the other pirates are only irritating or bland beyond their standard costumes. The islanders stage an impressive ambush or two, but overall it's a low-budget, underwritten adventure that feels longer than its 87 minutes. What seems most impressive or charming--and maybe a minor testament to the 50s-60s in economic history--is that such a film could ever be made at all; unimaginable today.

Part of Hammer Films' expansion into genres other than horror, this swashbuckler is unique and offbeat, yet entertaining and adventuresome. Matthews plays the son of a town elder on a remote island, populated by Huguenots, whose involvement with a married woman results in his being sent to a harsh penal colony. Following a narrow escape, he is rescued by a band of pirates led by black-clad, eye patch-wearing Lee, who want him to lead them to his settlement, ostensibly to use as a home base, but in reality to pillage for alleged treasure. When the pirates have barely made it to the outskirts of town before killing one person and trying to rape two others, Matthews determines how evil they are (what? Pirates evil??) and rejoins his townspeople in an effort to ward them off. The resultant skirmish and the relentless quest for the treasure, which the townspeople deny even exists, lead to bloodshed and destruction. Matthews, one of the cinema's unsung lookers and an underrated actor, gives a very earnest and skillful performance. He's put through his paces with regards to both grime and action sequences. Lee is suave and dangerous, providing just the type of villain a piece like this needs. Corbett, an appealing but generally inexpressive actor with a limited voice, is quite out of place here with his neatly parted, contemporary hair and anachronistic persona. Likewise, Landi, as Matthews' sister and Corbett's love interest, adds precious little to the film. Other cast members include Keir, as Matthews' stern, unyielding father (the actors were the same age, though it doesn't show!), Ripper, as Lee's shiftless, right hand man and Arne and Reed as dueling pirates. Fans of classic 007 films will briefly spot Llewelyn as a farmer. Waterman, who plays a young boy in a tree, grew up to become a noted actor and singer in the U.K. Hampered by budgetary restrictions that forbade the use of a ship or of filming at sea, the screenwriter more than made up for this by including many action scenes. The film clips along at a brisk pace, even with the "Ben-Hur"-esque imprisonment scenes, and features some truly lush foliage with more shades of green than could be counted. Cited by many as playing much like a western, the film does indeed come off that way, which ought to make it pretty accessible to fans of that genre. The title does fit the film, as is revealed at least twice. Matthews, for some reason, keeps his shirt on throughout the movie, though Arne barely has his on at all, adding some welcome beefcake to the proceedings. Lee and Reed would square off a little over a decade later in "The Three Musketeers" with Lee, once again, sporting an eye patch.

Different to what you might expect from the Hammer studios. It's better than "The Devil Ship Pirates", anyway. Christopher Lee is, as usual, brilliant as Captain La Roche (yes, I think they made up that name, too), speaking in very convincing French accent. It's fun, good for the family and Hammer fans. Watch out for Kerwin Matthews as the hero (would you believe!)- he's convincing hero.