Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (2017)

With much of America lying in ruins, the rest of the world braces for a global sharknado; Fin and his family must travel around the world to stop them. I will admit the Dolph Lundgren cameo in the end was pretty awesome but Lundgren also deserves better than this abomination of a Series. The rest of the movie copies 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' and 'Back to the Future' because why the heck not right? This movies stopped being about the sharks way long before and now it's simply stupid, mindless and not entertaining at all Saga of stupidity. (0/10)

The first two 'Sharknado' movies were not great and had a lot wrong with them, but they were guilty pleasure fun as long as not taken seriously. 'Sharknado 3' however was a let-down, it lacks the fun and charm of the first two as a result of being too self-aware and trying far too hard, really wanted to not take this seriously and view it as a guilty pleasure but it was just too amateurish and tired. A notion that was present and multiplied in 'Sharknado 4' that indicated the novelty was wearing off.A feeling that can also be seen in 'Sharknado 5'. There is still a little more fun here and overall it is the best of the 'Sharknado' franchise since the second film. And it is not because it is set in my home country, it's mainly because there's a little more fun and freshness and parts are slightly more inspired. There is still a sense though that the franchise has gone too far and that the novelty value that was there in the first two films has worn off. Even when one tries to take it for what it's trying to be (it is clear that it is not to be taken seriously), it generally just falls flat.Ian Ziering is likable and charismatic in the lead role, he plays it straight but still looks like he's having fun with the role. There is some nice scenery and an energetic and eerie music score. Some of the references, while obvious, are fun and create a sense of nostalgia. Likewise with a few of the cameos.Very little else works. Tara Reid continues to be unspeakably awful, her facial expressions look so expressionless and very forced in the few times she tries, her line delivery is mechanical and she constantly looks ill at ease. Other references are not as clever as they think and induce a groan in how they are written and there was a sense that the cameos were too many, with a lot of them being too short, pointless and screaming of "what the heck" in bizarre roles to take on.Even for low-budget, 'Sharknado 5' is very shoddy stuff. The scenery is pretty good but the film is shot in a very rushed-looking and drab way, editing is sloppy as well as choppy and the shark special effects are typical dreadfully artificial Asylum/SyFy fare (if not as bad as the third and fourth). Regarding the shark attacks and death scenes (none being good enough to even reach "reasonably fun" level), that the sharks have little personality let alone menace (the plastic surgery on display is scarier than them) hurts them and even more so the unintentional silliness comes at the expense of thrills and suspense, which are nowhere in sight, and gets tiresome. The film is directed flatly, the energy and enthusiasm in the pacing is missing and there are too many cardboard characters that are difficult to give a toss about. The first two films had some great funny lines, but the script here contains little remotely amusing or memorable and instead feels stale and tiresomely cheesy, especially one of the most insultingly nonsensical endings in recent memory.Like with the story, which is thin, aimless in some scenes and far too more of the same with very little freshness to make that forgivable. It's further not helped by trying too hard being dopey fun and in the process taking itself too seriously at times that any life is sucked out intended to have some originality but are just cheap and ridiculous.Overall, better than the previous two sequels but not much impresses here. 4/10 Bethany Cox

Sharknado's have ruined America but now they are threatening to take out Europe, starting in London where coincidentally Fin and April are currently visiting.More of the same at the last film(s) but a lot more silly, more bad acting, more bad dialogue, more of a stupid story, more tongue in cheek humour, more ridiculous cameo appearances, more more more of exactly the same to the point that it's getting a bit dull for me. The scariest thing about this film was the plastic surgery on show, it was like a Freak show of warnings about what plastic surgery can do to a person - some of the crap CGI sharks looked more attractive than the cast. The best in this series was the first film, since then it's gone downhill to the point that I'd suggest this is the weakest in the series - despite being the most up to date and sparkly. I can only give this film a 5 out of 10 because it's all been done before and brings nothing new to the table. None offensive, borderline entertainment, requires no brain, pretty pictures.

Sharknado 5 is by far the wackiest, craziest and most over the top movie in the franchise. But here is the problem, that isn't a good thing.The action sequences are still dumb and look awful, the wall to wall "Jokes" simply aren't funny and the movie has absolutely no redeeming features.Movie references, various celebrity cameos and Tara Reid grunting like a pig in heat in every other scene.I do hope, I do pray (And I don't even believe in that nonsense) that this is the end but considering the cliffhanger ending I fear we'll see more shortly.The Good: Chris Kattan as the British Primeminister is still better than Theresa May The Bad: Sam Fox, really!? Tara Reid Still a Sharknado film!Things I learnt from this movie: The Offspring don't care what films use their music as long as they get paid If you're a cyborg with rocket boots and can therefore fly it makes more sense to ski down a mountain Monster energy drink is sponsored by absolutely everything and everyoneIt's sharkzilla!