House of the Dead (2003)

A group of college students travel to a mysterious island to attend a rave, which is soon taken over by bloodthirsty zombies. House of the Dead is some kind of remake to a few old zombie flick from the 70's or 80's or basically somewhere around that time. Unfortunately like most of Uwe Boll's movies it's not good or even dumb enough to be at least kind of fun like Bloodrayne with Kristanna Loken. The movie is bad and unfortunately it never truly tries to do something to overcome it's problems and do something with it and that is it's downfall. (0/10)

After watching this movie twice, I can confirm that this movie is 100%... GARBAGE. I'm not even joking when I say that this is absolutely terrible in every way.If you don't know what House of the Dead is, Remember that arcade game you played at Dave and Buster's for maybe 20 minutes before you got bored and played something else? Well, Uwe Boll made a movie out of that. If you don't know who Uwe Boll is, he's the director of this movie and widely considered one of the worst directors out there. He's also known for challenging Critics who didn't like he movies to a boxing match. Anyway, on to "House of the Dead"I'll spoil the plot of the movie for you. There's a island full of zombies, teenagers go to it and die. The End. Every plot-point that happens in the movie, I could see coming from a mile away. It's the most predictable and basic of Horror movies, and it wasn't scary in the slightest. The characters are so annoying and one-dimensional that even is they actors were any good (which they're not), they still wouldn't be able to pull it off. The writing in this film reminds me of how I used to write movies... when I was seven. The music is horrible. It sounds less like music and more like inconsistent noise. Overall, this is a horrible film and one of many horrible films made by Uwe Boll. 2/10

Truly terrible zombie movie based off a video game that I've never heard of. It's directed by the 21st century Ed Wood, Uwe Boll. It's an awful movie on virtually every level. Jurgen Prochnow would be one of many 'name' actors that would work for Boll, leaving viewers scratching their heads as to how this terrible filmmaker managed to draw them to his cheap and crappy projects. Blackmail, perhaps. The best thing about this mess is the nude scene of a young Erica Durance. Pre-boob job, however. There's really no quality content here. I did love the Sega product placement. If that doesn't date your movie, I don't know what does.

I watched this last night whilst playing on my PC. I actually started concentrating less on the game and more on this film as it went along, I even got my friend tuned in to watch it with me whilst communicating via a headset. The reason I've scored this a 2 is because its bloody comical. I don't actually know if it's supposed to be funny, but if it isn't it's that awful that it is anyway. Wait till you see the part where one of the shocking actors picks up the half eaten carcass of another shocking member of the cast and drags her in through the window... Both my friend and I were in absolute stitches.Is no point going on and on about the actors, the set, the dialogue etc. Its a proper cheapo film, end of...How it made it to the big screen is totally beyond me, but if you want a really good laugh then get a couple of beers down you and watch this with a few mates. The film does have one saving grace and that's in the form of several half naked attractive girls... oof.