Mutant Chronicles (2008)

The situation: A Machine from space, buried somewhere under Poland since the ice age, has been unearthed and is spewing out hordes of "mutants" (distinguishable from standard Hollywood zombies primarily by their giant claw). Despite their last attempt being foiled by the advanced technology of the neolithic era, the mutants are able to drive 28th century humanity to the brink of destruction in under two months.The obvious solution is the Ripley Gambit: "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."The alternative obvious solution is for the combined militaries of the four megacorporations that rule earth to converge on the Machine and wipe out the mutants.The significantly less obvious solution is this:Gather a single squad of soldiers, mixing troops from all the megacorps, who have more experience fighting against each other than together. Airlift them to Canaan. Send them into the tunnels that they can use to sneak into the Machine in nearby Poland (and wasn't it nice of the mutants to stay behind the seal when there was apparently a back door?). Once there, they will put back the Device which was taken from the Machine (for no apparent reason) ten thousand years ago. We THINK the Device is some kind of bomb, but we don't actually know. We do, however, know that it requires a separate Trigger, which the team will also carry. And a separate Key. Which we DO NOT HAVE, but will blindly assume that the squad will be able to find somewhere in the Machine. For some reason. The squad will detonate the Device, destroying the Machine and saving humanity. Should anything go wrong with this flawless plan, we will have absolutely zero alternatives, contingencies or backups. If this plan fails, "every man, woman and child on this planet will die".Guess which solution this film goes with. The others aren't even discussed. No others are.That a fictional character thinks this is a good plan is ridiculous writing. That a dozen other fictional characters, some of them experienced soldiers and officers, agree to it is ludicrous writing. That is works almost perfectly takes us all the way into the plaid zone.And it's far from the stupidest thing in this story. I think that award goes to the rescue of an officer who was captured within spitting distance of the seal just after it was broken. The team finds him in the tunnels being dragged towards the machine to be turned into a mutant. SIX WEEKS LATER. The mutant has presumably dragged him on the scenic route, via Bulgaria. And kept him adequately fed and hydrated. Which is nice of him.The inane plot is probably the weakest point of the film, but not by far. Between the dialogue and the acting (and I KNOW several of these actors are capable of much better performances than this) the characters universally lack character. The CGI varies wildly, sometimes flawless, sometimes laughable.On to the faint praise: The action scenes aren't generally awful. Or memorable. Monster makeup and effects are fine, shame the design is so unimaginative.As an adaptation of the Mutant Chronicles games: It isn't. From the fine details (the 6th letter of Capitol) to the broadest generalisation (the entire concept of the Dark Legion), there is nothing here but a few names: MC, the four megacorps (no Cybertronic), a few characters. And these are all "In Name Only". As a random glaring example: Valerie Duval, Asian Mishiman single mother.There are a few films which stand out as examples of how not to make an adaptation. Catwoman. Fant4stic. Judge Dredd. Uwe Boll. The Last Airbender. They fail on the counts of both making a good film and of making a faithful adaptation.Mutant Chronicles is worse than most of them on the first count and worse than any of them on the second.

An entertaining movie about heroes saving the earth, old school style, going on a mission knowing that everyone is going to die. The overall feeling of the movie is a bit like as I imagine Warhammer 40K. Everything is dark and gloomy, and mankind is on the verge of extinction. Marvelous what a nice good old fashioned sci fi movie!!!The acting is (maybe deliberately) kept bland and straightforward, reflecting the dark and almost hopeless situation of mankind. But despite and maybe because of the "bad" special effects I felt myself being drawn into the movie, some how the movie appeared ancient, outdated like it itself was dying, and the obvious scenery had a certain charm as if I was viewing a motion picture comic book with real humans trapped in a world they have no power over, but they persevere, yes a hardiness of spirit keeps them going, even though there is no hope.Worth a watch for...who the hell should I know. Maybe I have no taste ;), but I enjoyed watching this movie.

Watching this movie was sort of like watching "Sucker Punch" not really shocked this is based off of a video game a little. I am surprised at some of the actors that showed up in this movie. The soldiers look like they are from WW2 even the era seems the same except few high tech machines. It's obvious this movie had a very limited budget cause the special effects doesn't look all that realistic, but on a positive note I like the style of this movie. It seemed like a mix between a graphic novels and video games. The direction of it all including the characters seemed very video game like and not really in a good way either. The story is basically about a group of video game like soldiers trying to win against mutant zombies that know how to kill and pilot steam-powered spaceships. There is many scenario in this movie that makes little to no sense, especially a lot of the elements in this movie. The team members are pretty generic like some video game characters and even have dialogues that is similar to some video game characters. The plot is very simple when it gets down to it, but tries to be more complex than it really is. It still had my attention and didn't get really or anything like that, and kept my eyes on the screen all the way through it.6/10

This movie came right out of the cut-and-paste factory with a random sprinkling of familiar sci-fi, dark futurism, fantasy combat, whacked out anti-spiritual symbolism elements. It is really getting difficult to keep track of these remixes. Here we get The Lord of the Rings meets the Night of the Living Dead. Throw in a bit of Brazil, Aliens, Terminator, Total Recall, HellBoy and the Borg and you cover the bases.But let's look at what is positive. The acting is OK, nothing great but OK. There is not enough time spent in character development to give any depth to the characters with the possible exception of Ron Perlman's character (who is getting way over-exposed in this kind of movie). However, no one embarrasses his or herself with what bits they are given. Likely, the cast had fun posing with the weapons and the mangled surroundings. I hope so. It does not attempt to deliver an adrenalin rush every minute although it obviously ramps that up toward the end. The CGI is very obvious in places but is OK and doesn't ruin anything. Viewers log ago accepted that many sets cannot be built without impossible budgets. Unfortunately, part of the fallout from that is the very dark and gloomy look and feel. The two women look good although they are not in look, strength or coordination, believable cutting things in half with swords. The plot carries through from the start to finish without gaping holes. That plot is just an excuse to create the mood and the "quest" but at least you can follow it. That's about it for the good content. Now, the unfortunate parts of this movie are things we now expect from Hollywood, i.e. seriously wounded people who still fight on and perform acrobatics, rivers of blood and chunks of gore splashed across the screen, and action scenes that are right out of a video game. There is a lot of action but only a couple of sequences amount to anything. Also, as usual, there is not enough to any of the characters to really care much about them. If we did care, then at least we could be held in suspense as to who lives and who dies. For something set far in the future, the technology strangely consists of gadgets out of the Wild Wild West. The war scenes deliberately recalled WW1. That really made no sense at all. Let's also look at the symbolism we get here. It follows a recent ugly trend. We get heroism embodied by an undisciplined person/being who is transformed in an essentially demonic way along with the inevitable water baptism (along with a rocket launching). I'll spare you the rest of the details but you've seen it before. Give me a break Hollywood! Your journeys into such twisted ideas really stink worse than a cesspool. What contribution to a better world is supposed come out of the barrage of such monstrosities? It is not profound or original and it isn't thought provoking. I do wish they would move on but they seem to be obsessed with it.