Sorority Row (2009)

Honestly, the movie's kind of a laugh. With how the girl got for-real murdered, I couldn't stop laughing. I know it's supposed to be terrible, and dang that sucks, but who bashes someone's head in out of fear like that? The rest was cheesy and predictable. If you're going to watch it and you're hoping for a thrill or a scare, watch it at 2am alone in the dark. It'll amp it up a bit more and maybe it'll earn you a couple extra stars on your review.

You gotta love a movie that starts out with college girls jumping on a trampoline in pj's having a pillow fight. Clearly the writers know the formula for a successful slasher movie. The sorority girls are intelligent and snarky. Roofies? "A great way to have sex and get a good night's sleep all at the same time."When one of the boyfriends of one of the girls cheats on him, they opt to play a joke on him. His gf pretends to be knocked out from roofies while he initiates sex. Then she vomits fake blood and pretends to die. In a fake panic the sisters take her and the unsuspecting bf out to a remote area to bury her, although she is not dead. In Hitchcock like fashion the boyfriend, Garrett, throws a wrench into the works...well okay a tire iron, but it had the same effect. Now with a real corpse, they decide to cover the whole episode up.TV actress Leah Pipes plays Jessica. She is the blond ring leader of the group. Her dad is running for the senate. She is opposed by Cassidy (Briana Evigan of "Burning Bright") who has a raspy Demi Moore voice. Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce Willis/ Demi Moore)plays Elle. She is the girl who goes along with everything. She wears glasses in this film which makes her look like Emma Stone on a bad hair day. She is the one that doesn't sound like Demi Moore. Jamie Chung, whose career has taken off (no thanks to this film), plays Claire as every movie now needs its token oriental babe, something Jessica makes clear. Margo Harshman plays chugs and rounds out the group of sisters because they needed a fourth to carry the body and dump it down a mine shaft, as Cassidy wouldn't help. Chugs is the drunk and slut in the group. Guess who dies first? In order to ensure her silence the sisters tell Cassidy she was the one that killed Megan (Audrina Patridge) as opposed to Garrett(Matt O'Leary).Then the killing starts. The movie is about who lives, who dies, and who done it. Caroline D'Amore plays dead Megan's sister Maggie who is going to start college and decides to pledge the same theta pi sorority because we need one more killer suspect to prevent this from becoming a Scooby-doo mystery. Carrie Fisher plays the House Mother. She lets us know how far down she has fallen since being a princess.Unfortunately this is just a me-too slasher film and doesn't really bring anything new to the table. Now if they had a better sound track that worked with the film and maybe a scene of Carrie Fisher with some Star War memorabilia, we could have bumped this up a notch.F-bomb, sex, nudity Megan Wolfley (?)- nude butt on trampoline, Deja Kreutzberg (As the World Turns)-plays drop the towel, Nicole Moore (?) shower, Kimberly Jones(?)topless dancer

Six girls that are introduced as Chugs (Margo Harshmann), Jessica (Leah Pipes), Claire (Jamie Chung), Ellie (Rumer Willis), Cassidy (Briana Evigan from burning bright) who are celebrating the beginning of their senior year. They clandestinely watch Chug's brother Garret (Matt O'Leary) and Megan (Audrina Partridge) by laptop camera, and Garrett leaves in a panic as Megan throws up as a joke, the group joins Megan as they had a good laugh off and continue with the prank as Garret returns with a car to get to the nearest hospital. They have no phone signal and they are led to an abandoned water well site which is remote from any suburban area. Garrett fatally stabs Megan with a tire iron. In a panic and composure with true inner tendencies coming out like never before, they choose to keep "secrecy and solidarity​" on the cover up by dumping Megan's body with Cassidy's coat, and on time to come back to the party.Eight months later on their graduation thanking Mrs Crenshaw (the fabulous Carrie Fisher who adds comedy flair and balls), as they hang out, a text attachment of the bloody weapon that killed Megan appears on their mobile cell phone, they delete to forget it - and throw another wild party for the evening, then Megan's​ Sister Maggie (Caroline D'Amore) shows up which freaks the group out so they sent her away gently.As the group break up the gruesome and cringing murders happen one by one, as the group are getting mind screwed with impossible possibilities such as: is Megan back from the dead? Or has really Garrett gone nuts? They are at a break down and breaking point with betrayal or making bonds as the story unfolds and the culprit reveals their identity.The script is fantastic because it is so unapologetic and bombastic, this is a crazy and youthful movie that has the darkest humour I ever seen. Majority of the cast is good looking and have their own sense of comedy wit. Leah Pipes steals the show as the detestable, icy, catty, loquacious Jessica who is my favourite character and didn't want her to die. Ellie the plain Jane out of the girls survives and is the most annoying character (identical to the same looking girl from Rob Zombie's Halloween).Despite the turnout, this is one of my favourite horror movies that is crazy, narcissistic, ratty but witty and very funny. The death scenes are well created. What more could you ask for with a great music score and memorable soundtrack?

Let me just start off by saying that I haven't watched the original movie, so I can't compared the two. That being said, let's start.So let's first assume that no human being would ever be as stupid as this girls were and that was all done for the sake of a horror movie. As horror movies go, this is more of the same slasher killer type. And it fits all of the stereotypes we tend to see in these kinds of movies. Hot chicks do something awful and then it comes to bite them in the butt. And then you find the typical characters you always find on this kids of movies. You have the good girl that always wants to do the right thing, you have the nerd, you have the whore, you have the "leader" and her sidekick. It's just more of the same typical things. The movie doesn't bring anything new, or different for that matter. The only thing that I can say sorta kinda saves this movie, is twist that it gives us when it comes to the murderer. I was not expecting that and I certainly didn't see it coming. That's the only thing I would save about this movie.Overall, nothing new nor exciting is brought to the table. Just more of your typical teenage slasher movie. If you are absolutely bored out of your mind, go ahead and give it a shot. Otherwise, if you have ever seen a teenage slasher movie before, you already knows what happens on this one.