Cheerleader Massacre (2003)

Cheerleader Massacre, The (2003) *** (out of 4)A group of big breasted, sexy cheerleaders jump into a van on the way to a competition but the van breaks down and they must spend the night in a cabin. A serial killer is also lurking around. I went into this flick with high hopes, which some might find strange considering this is nothing more than a low budget, direct to DVD flick. The reason for the high hopes? This is from director Jim Wynorski who created some of my favorite "B" films of the 1980's including Chopping Mall, Sorority House Massacre 2 and Big Bad Mama 2. My expectations were certainly met because this is the best throwback to the 80's slashers that I've seen in quite a while. Does that mean the film is good? Hell no. Everything from the acting to the screenplay is bad but the director knows how to deliver the cheap laughs, nudity and dumb violence. The director is smart enough to know he has bad actors and a bad script and instead of trying to create a good movie he uses this badness to add to the film's charm. The film uses the soundtrack to the 1980 hit Humanoids From the Deep and also lifts a scene from The Slumber Party Massacre. The scene lifted from that movie has the girl in that clip reprising her role 21 years after the fact. Reading at IMDb says this was originally meant to be the fourth film in that series. Again, please don't take the three stars as saying this is a horror film everyone should rent. If you check at the IMDb you'll see that everyone but I hated this film.

I've never expected too much from a film by trashy B-movie director Jim Wynorski: a silly premise, some cheapo effects and a bit of nudity from some busty babes, and I'm usually fairly happy.Well, Cheerleader Massacre delivers on the former and definitely the latter, but unfortunately is a tad light when it comes to the splatter. And when a film has the word 'massacre' in the title, and scrimps on the gore, then Houston, we have a problem.Wynorski's movie centres on a group of cheerleaders who, along with their teacher, mini-bus driver and a couple of guys, become stranded in the mountains during a snowstorm. They make their way on foot to a deserted mountain retreat, where they find food and shelter. And a crazy killer who wants them all dead! From the outset, good old Jim ensures that his film features plenty of scenes loaded with T&A, and includes the obligatory shower scene, along with numerous other moments in which tasty women get nekkid (including a spot of raunchy softcore sex and a very gratuitous three-babes-in-a-hot-tub scene). None of the women look young enough to be cheerleaders (and are never even seen in their outfits), but who cares about such details when they're all too willing to strip off in the name of art?I do care, however, about the movie's numerous lacklustre deaths. With such an extremely lurid title, I had been hoping for some inventive bloodletting to go with all of the bums, bush, and boobs; instead, practically all of the killings occur off-screen or feature next to no gore. Only a silly post-decapitation scene (achieved with cheap-as-chips CGI) comes anywhere near to delivering the goods.Still, if you're feeling in the mood for some titillation, or a bit of slasher silliness minus the grue, then, at 82 minutes, at least Cheerleader Massacre won't be too much of a waste of your time.

Hmmmmmmm - cheerleader massacre. Let me think - high school girls get sliced up, except the cute one survives. Got it. Next movie.I was actually surprised this one was made in 2003. I really thought they quit making these movies in the 80's. This was truly your run of the mill slasher movie with teenage eye candy, dumb male horn dogs, even dumber male adult, and hot teacher. It continues on the list of dark and stormy night and abandoned cabin in the woods. We have seen it all before.However this one had a few interesting plot twists that places it above the normal me-too slashers, so if you have got a few brain cells to fry and 2 hours to kill - you could do worse.

Thanks to the cover this movie looks good, thanks to the direct it is actually complete rubbish. Slasher fans should stay the hell away from this one, There's no Plot, no talent and I am sorry to say that i've actually seen it. Thank God i rented it online and it only cost me about 50 pence, because if i'd spent any more i might have to go and slash my own wrists, from the sheer depression. I think the Director thought that a few Bimbos on the cover and the word Cheerleader might make a movie, by which rationale i could sell a turd in a box if I only cellotape a picture of Britney Spears on the front. Even for an amateur movie this stinks and forget soft porn, aside from a very short appearance from April Flowers there is nothing worth watching here. Wynorski...get a job.