Julia X 3D (2011)

Julia X is kind of a confusing movie with a very odd flimsy story and tone that feels a bit goofy and experimental. For about half an hour I didn't care for what it seemed to be, which was yet another pretty girl being kidnapped by some sadistic asshole, sure wasn't like I hadn't seen that too many damn times before.. And even after the twist that the girl was neither helpless nor innocent but was in fact a killer herself was revealed and the hunter became the hunted, I still wasn't that keen, the quality was kinda sucky. But when I got what it was really going for and the real fun began I got into it and ended up having a pretty good time, it was dumb but it rocked. I'm not gonna say it's not, it is a very sloppily put together movie, it's like the writers had a good idea and had no clue as to how to fill up all the little details that make a full length feature. And by the end there are so many hopelessly loose ends that never come together that I could see why some would plain hate it, but I just personally enjoyed it for the action and unintentional comedy. What little plot there was felt like a mere contrivance to pit psychos against each other in a macabre royal rumble, and in that sense it delivers in spades. It doesn't even bother with fancy luxuries like atmosphere and adequate characterisation. Just. Plain. Business... So, I really wasn't buying Kevin Sorbo as a vicious serial killer for a moment, the guy is just too naturally likable, he's got all those years he played heroic Hercules hanging over him that he'll never live down that it's kinda hard to see him in that light. And it's weird hearing him swear, like hearing your grandmother! That said, I may not have believed him as scary killer guy, but I thought he excelled at being comically twisted beat-up guy who was getting a perverse kick out of a horrendous situation of constant brutality and the pain he was continuously receiving and dishing out, he was much better at conveying all that dark s**t.. He looked good and totally in his element in the physical action scenes, it's what he does the best. I don't think I've ever seen another independent horror movie with such extensive stunt work. And of the two women, I thought Alicia Leigh Willis played crazy a lot better than the other, I thought she was really funny with all her kinky body language and the creepy mischievous look on her face, she would have made a great Harley Quinn! She had such killer legs.. The scenes with them all yield such marvellous mayhem, I mean compared to what it starts out as this film goes so completely off the rails that I wasn't sure when to laugh or be shocked because the tone veers crazily between brutal and dangerous to almost cartoony madness that I found it such a mindless but fun and entertaining blast to watch! It had me laughing at how absurdly unrealistic the results of the injuries were. Like Sorbo's character suffered so many stabbings, pelvic limb and vertebral fractures, not to mention concurrent massive head traumas with being cracked over the head so many times that he should've been dead at least twenty times over! And something else that I enjoyed was how there was nobody to root for! All three were completely unsympathetic pain-loving maniacs! The only sympathetic character was Joel David Moore who played an abducted car mechanic who I think was meant to be a little slow in the head, and who is strangely and unexpectedly let go completely unharmed.. He's so lanky and cute, I do so like 'em nerdy! It was sick but fun-sick, never too unpleasant. I guess the most noticeable and disturbing thing about this movie is the definite theme of sadomasochism that runs through it. What a wild show. It takes a while to get going, but once it does it runs like a mother***ker!!!

A serial killer, played by Kevin Sorbo, lures a victim from a chat room, kidnaps her and starts to torture her. Half an hour into the movie, you find out that the 'victim' is not an innocent, but part of a sisterly duo of serial killers who their own twisted plans for him.Then it's a smörgåsbord of torture scenes.Unintentionally hilarious piece of crap. But it's basically what one I expected based on the ratings online. So I shouldn't be complaining, and neither should you, unless you were tricked into watching this by some douche of a friend who promised the next Silence of the Lambs. I mean - in the normal course of things, you would have seen the trailer/ read a two line review about the movie, and that should be enough to prepare you for what the movie is about.

"Julia X" was a movie that hadn't particularly caught my attention, nor can I claim to have had any knowledge about it before I accidentally came across it and decided to give it a go.The movie started out quite nicely actually, and it was nice to see Kevin Sorbo in a role such as this one. And I will say that he actually pulled it off quite nicely. He has actually done some good work in movies aside from just being known for his work in "Hercules", so if you aren't already familiar with his acting in movies, you should get around to watching some."Julia X" has a story that starts out rather interesting, but unfortunately takes a turn for the worse, story-wise that is, when you learn about what is going on and when the big plot twist is revealed. Sure it was good entertainment and lots of fun, but it was just unrealistic and stupid on a high level. The way the story turned out after that twist was fun enough in itself, but took the story in a very bad direction. That being said, don't get me wrong, because the movie is fun to watch, lots of blood and violence, but it just went steeply downhill at the revealing of the plot twist.Most of the dialogue was alright, but there were moments here and there that makes you cringe and go 'who would say something like that in a situation like that?' So the dialogue had some anchor points that pulled the movie down a bit.There were some moments of continuity problems as well. I was especially impressed with how The Stranger just put back on his boots after having a huge spike driven through both feet and was able to walk about with no difficulty. And also the scene in the restroom where The Man was stabbed in the eye and blood sprayed out everywhere, but the floor was spotless clean in the following scenes (aside from that which ran out underneath his head), that was just amazing. Self-cleaning restroom floor, eh?"Julia X" is a mediocre slasher movie that, in my opinion, fell to the floor horribly when the story took a twist for a very unrealistic approach. But all in all, the movie was entertaining and fun to watch. Just don't watch it with your reality-goggles on. Had they not gone for that somewhat stupid plot twist, then the movie could have been far better.

Another wannabe tongue-in-cheek splatter flick that is, in fact, not nearly as crowd-pleasing as the creators intended it to be. The film opens very traditional; with Hercules (Kevin Sorbo for friends) depicting a handsome yet deranged serial killer who meets his victims via dating sites and then eventually kills and bookmarks them with a follow-up letter of the alphabet on their butts. Why? Because all females are cruel heartless bitches, of course! And, by the looks of it, our boy Hercules (whose character actually remains nameless throughout the entire film) has been active for quite a while, as the sexy blond Julia sitting across him at the restaurant table during the opening sequences is supposed to become number "X" already. But this date won't go as easily as planned for Hercules, because Julia – together with her equally ravishing younger sister Jessica – is a serial killer herself, also targeting men that respond to dating ads placed by luscious blond chicks. Why? Because all males are sexually perverted bastards like their daddy was, of course! The revelation of Julia being a serial killer herself is supposed to come as a totally unexpected plot twist, but I surely haven't got a problem with mentioning it here in the review, as you can see it coming from several miles away. The concept of a "showdown between serial killers" certainly isn't new and, moreover, it's one of the most implausible and far-fetched formulas imaginable. "Julia X" also doesn't undertake any effort to provide the story and characters with more depth and/or background. We learn absolutely nothing about Hercules' character (not even his name) and the explanation of the girls' bad behavior is restricted to a few very clichéd flashbacks and a handful of verbal arguments between them. Instead, the whole damn film is just a non-stop series of torturing, fights, escapes, chases and wannabe witty one-liners. The "X" in the title might just as well stand for the Roman number ten and refer to the amount of times that Hercules ought to have died! He's beaten, stabbed, bludgeoned, thrown from heights and mutilated more than any living creature could possibly bear – yes, even Hercules – and yet he rises again every time seemingly even without suffering. Both girls as well put up with a lot more physical agony than their beautiful anatomy can possibly handle. "Julia X" is a film that is dreadfully overlong, or at least feels that way because the subject matter is minimal and simplistic. This actually might have worked a lot better as a short, with approximately three quarters of the cat-and-mouse games cut from the final print. On the plus side, the special effects and make-up are quite superior and, if you have the opportunity to watch the film with 3D-glasses on your nose, it's definitely worthwhile. It's one of those rare flicks where the 3D treatment isn't just a lame gimmick to lure more viewers, but an actual added value.