Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain (2003)

Another day, another cheap horror film from the drug store bargain bin! I'd never heard of EVIL BREED: THE LEGEND OF SAMHAIN, but I gladly plunked down my $3.99 for it as soon as I saw retired porn star Jenna Jameson's name above the title (yes, I'm shallow). Before watching "Evil Breed" I read up on it here on good ole IMDb and I learned that the film went through multiple behind-the-scenes problems during its production, and that though it was intended to be an all-out, over-the-top gross out gore fest the film was heavily edited (against the director's wishes) prior to its release. So in the end we're left with a film that's a mere hint of what it might have been....which is a shame, because without the gore (which was supposed to be glorious), the film runs a scant 78 minutes and there sure isn't much of a plot to keep the viewer involved. Our story: a group of annoying American college students and their instructor are on a trip to the Irish countryside, where activities apparently consist of staying in a creepy old cottage in the woods and attempting to have sex with one another. Their hostess, former adult video queen Ginger Lynn (whose Irish accent comes and goes depending on what scene you're watching) fills them in on some of the area's local legends (Druid cults, the ancient festival of Samhain, human sacrifices, yadda yadda yadda), with particular emphasis on the story of Sawney Bean and his clan of inbred cannibal cave dwellers... whose decendents, of course, are rumored to still roam these very woods. Anyone wanna bet five bucks who our unlucky tour group will eventually run into? While exploring the forest, a pair of the students finds a seemingly deserted castle, which is of course inhabited by the aforementioned mutants. These guys are so deformed by centuries of inbreeding that they resemble the members of GWAR. From there...well, hackings, slashings, decapitations, and bad acting are the order of the day. The group is picked off one by one until only the unlikable "final girl" is left and she has to escape from the cannibal stronghold by herself. Will she make it out in one piece? Do you really have to ask?There seems to be a lot of hate for this movie on IMDb but I thought it was a stone cold hoot. I certainly wouldn't recommend renting this one just to see the various porn stars, because most of their appearances (other than Ginger Lynn's) are limited to brief cameos (Jenna Jameson may get top billing, but she's only in the movie for about four minutes, two of which are taken up by her death scene). The gore, as previously mentioned, is not as hardcore as originally intended, but there are still some good bits to be had. The one absolutely EPIC must-see scene involves Jameson's character being carved up by one of the mutants... who reaches into her chest and pulls out one of her silicon breast implants, then stares at it quizzically while squeezing it like a dog's squeaky toy. I can honestly say that's something I've never seen in a movie before! Haha.Okay, so this film is obviously not a horror classic by any means, but for $3.99, "EVIL BREED" was a decent night's cheesy, sleazy entertainment. Obsessed fans of Jenna, Ginger, and Chasey Lain may want to add an extra star or two to my rating up above. Hopefully somewhere down the road we'll get an uncut version of this flick, so we can see it according to director Christian Viel's original sicko vision. A couple of the uncut death scenes are available on the DVD as bonus features, and judging from those, I can only imagine how nasty the original version must've been! What a shame...

For your own good, it would be best to disregard any positive reviews concerning this movie. This flick STINKS. Now, I like (at least in theory) low budget horror movies, but this one makes the worst mistake a low budget flick can make: It takes itself WAY too seriously. And, unfortunately, that's not it's only problem.It's the story of the murderous Beane clan of the British Ilses transposed to modern times. An interesting premise, but there are two things that are immediately perplexing about this film once you start watching it.#1- Why is the biggest name on the CD box Jenna Jameson? She's a below average looking woman who can't act, and she has a minor role. ANSWER: She's apparently a well known porn star (as you no doubt read in other reviews), so I guess this is a "cameo" appearance for her. She's giving the film much needed "name recognition", it seems. Her top billing isn't any indication of her talent, though, it's an indication of how UNtalented the rest of the cast is.#2- How can film makers be so stupid to think Canada can be passed off as Ireland? It doesn't even remotely look like Ireland. And the house that the guests/victims stay in is this great big North American wood frame Edwardian thing. They should have skipped the whole Beane theme and developed a story that took place in N.A. Also, if you're going to make a movie that takes place in Ireland, it's probably best to have more than one character with an Irish accent (and that was a REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD Irish accent.) Now,this wouldn't have been so bad if the director wasn't trying to make the next "Night of the Living Dead", but it seems he was. Too bad. He could have had some fun with it. In fact, some of the scenes weren't far from being unintentionally comedic as they were.Like the infamous gutting scene, were the woman is chained to the table, stripped naked, and then sliced open and eviscerated. That's funny, you ask? Well, in the deleted scene version, the mutant killer pulls out mile after mile after mile of intestines. It's actually funny after awhile. And what self respecting cannibal eats intestines, anyway? Do we eat the intestines of cows and chickens? Heck no, we eat hams and ribs and drumsticks. Oh well.Some of the other cast who were annoying: the whiny, creepy Howard Rosenstein. I'm not sure, but I THINK he was supposed to be cast as a STUD. In fact, he's as big a loser and goof ball as his name would imply. Which would explain why the character played by the equally annoying Gillian Leigh fell for him.I checked Gillian Leigh on her link on IMDb, and apparently it's important to know that she graduated high school with honors. I can't decide if it's more amusing or pathetic to know that only a couple years after graduation, the honor student is doing nude soft-core porn scenes in a shower with a guy named Howard Rosenstein. Wonder if her former classmates have seen this movie? If they have, hopefully they'll get the message: AVOID THIS FATE! GO TO COLLEGE!!! I could go on and on, but why. If you like gore, you'll find something redeeming in this flick, but not much more.

A bunch of American students and their tutor decide to visit the ugliest part of Ireland in order to study ancient religious practices. Despite being repeatedly warned about the dangers of straying off the beaten path (by the local creepy Irish guy, natch), they do just that, and wind up with their insides on the outside courtesy of a family of inbred cannibals (the descendants of the infamous Sawney Bean clan, who according to the film's silly plot, upped sticks from Scotland and settled on the Emerald Isle).If you think that porn stars plus low budget horror automatically equals tons of nudity and terrible acting, then think again: Evil Breed is bristling with adult stars, but in fact, there's not nearly as much nudity as one might expect given the 'talent' involved, and the acting, although far from Oscar worthy, ain't all that bad (with the exception of Ginger Lynn Allen, who we know can do marvellous 'French', but whose Irish is lousy).Evil Breed opens in superb style with the brutal slaughter of a couple of amorous campers: after some brief under-canvas sex, the silicone enhanced hottie is dragged from the tent and torn in half; the guy has his arms and legs cut off and is roasted on a spit. It's a very gory start, and bodes well for the rest of the film.Unfortunately, after this promising beginning, things start to go seriously downhill: we are introduced to the main characters, an annoying bunch of twenty-somethings just begging to become cannibal chow, and are subjected to a fair amount of time wasting in the form of some terrible false scares, a lot of blarney about murderous druids from local Irish weirdo Gary (Simon Peacock), and worst of all, some sub-Scream, post-modernistic conversation about the conventions of horror films (how clever!).Then, just as it looks as though the film is never going to get any better, director Christian Viel decides to get serious: a guy gets a knife rammed through his head and there's a gratuitous sex-in-the-shower scene featuring lovely blonde Gillian Leigh (NOT a porn star, but I'm sure there's a career there waiting if she wants it). After that, things improve rapidly as the cannibals kick into top flesh-eating gear, and the film is transformed into a veritable bloodbath: Gary has a machete rammed up his ass (about time!), and is strangled with his intestines; Ginger Lynn kick-boxes a mutant; Jenna Jameson is torn open, eviscerated and has her silicone breast implant gnawed on by confused cannibal; a guy gets decapitated by cheese wire; and Taylor Hayes is seen bloody, bruised and naked with a dead foetus between her legs (apparantly, she's been captured and used as breeding stock).All of this is so outrageously gory that it makes sitting through the less interesting stuff worthwhile, and earns Evil Breed a final rating of 7/10.NB. A very troubled production and studio meddling resulted in Christian Viel eventually abandoning the project. Re-shoots were done and the gore was heavily trimmed for a US release. The good news is that although the film doesn't flow as well as it might have, and is cursed with a terrible ending, the UK DVD (the version I watched) seems to have been left relatively intact as far as the splatter is concerned (only 13s were cut from the film in total).

I have been watching horror movies since I was 5 years old, beginning with Childs Play.Since then, I have seen good horror movies and bad, but this is without question, the DUMBEST movie I have ever seen! The actors did all they could with the material. The plot was just idiotic. Plus , it was just all gore. I can stomach a lot of blood, but that was just ridiculous! In one of the scenes, a character gets stabbed in the rear end and choked with his intestines! Plain Stupid! Another problem with this movie is that its boring and probably the slowest movie ever made. The end of it is just dumb. But then again, it goes with the rest of it! At the end, when the girl gets away from the cannibal/ancestor, she receives help from a old lady. The old lady is making tea, but when she turns around to talk to the girl, the girl attacks her! She turned into a cannibal! Retarded movie.