12/12/12 (2012)

Time for a low budget B-horror movie. Absolutely brilliant as it has no real special effects and nonetheless has acceptable acting for this genre. If you're, like me, a lover of low budget B- movies this is worth a watch. It is no Hammer movie but very watchable. Yes, the plot is wafer thin and of course none of the characters are really coming to live. The acting though is not all that bad and despite knowing after 2 minutes how the movie will go if you've seen the cover that is its very charm. It is interesting to see how the director made the subject work despite the budget. Expect no frills, no suspense building and no complex dialogues. Expect instead good old horror, blood and gore and a homevideo style experience. Like filming your own horror movie and watching it.

I'll give asylum props for giving me a headache, this films color scheme is so bland and depressing, to the point I just wanted to shut it off. The editing and pacing was nauseating, it's just so random and pointless with what is happening on screen.The story: We open the film in traditional asylum film, a nude woman being sacrificed to the devil. What was the point of this scene, I don't know. Then we head over to the 11 minute birth scene, with some devil minion meandering around. So in this sequence we see him kill some random lady who just gave birth, wow that is cold. The birthing scene was too drawn out and unfocused, and do we really need to see the crowning, come on. So the baby is born, and it strangles the doctor and nurse with it's umbilical cord. And they take the baby home, and...well lets just get this over with fast. Nudity, nudity, baby preforming cunnilingus on mom, husband dies, baby is taken away. There, you got it, because I don't.So the woman moves in with her bipolar sister. The minion somehow followed them there. And from this point on, every one and everything just dies. It's not even worth getting into because it just too out there. The husband is never talked of again, the detective always has a lollipop in his mouth when ever you see him. There is no rhyme or reason.This movie so bad I don't even want to write this review, because I then would have to remember what happened.

This movie had its moments, but overall, it was pretty terrible. You will see a detective that has an obsession with lollipops, a plastic- looking baby with horns that mysteriously latches onto peoples' necks, and no real story at all. The time of day was literally all over the place, jumping from day to night and night to day, without logical reason. In one scene, the main character frantically calls the local detective to pick her up and it is clearly broad daylight, but suddenly it's nearly midnight when he arrives (they look at the time and it says 11:53). When the protagonist is in her sister's home, the detective says he'll have cops stationed at her home for safety from the Devil's servant; in reality, though, there was ONE cop stationed that quickly gets killed off(how dumb!). There are so many unexplained, unnoticed casualties that I don't even know where to begin, and so I won't. The best part of the film, sadly, was when the main character is tied to a chair, and then one of the Devil's servants nonsensically pulls down her shirt, exposing her nice, bare tits. The movie was a solid (?) 4 stars (out of 10) for the first 2/3 of the film (from 12/12/12-12/19/12), but then the last bit (12/19/12-12/21/12) was just sh\t. I cannot stress how bad the ending was and it absolutely killed it for me. Still, I somewhat enjoyed watching the film drunkenly with some friends, so I'll rate it a (generous) 3 stars out of 10.

**SPOILER ALERT** So I rented it last night (thank God it was a FREE rental ..tho still could pick something else- ANYTHING would be better than that. The cover is not bad....but in my history of bad movies...and I know bad coz my husband is a sucker for slashy zombie, apocalypse etc movies:(( It started hilarious...baby comes out via C-section....and starts killing...yep umbilical cord, teeth...I think it was my cue to stop watching ...Baby looks like a potatoes sack ...they barely show it (you gonna have laugh by the end of the movie when you see horns!) It's wrapped in blanket for most of the movie (real baby would die from lack of air or heat!) ...there is one pretty sick scene when mommy is getting some in bed....then she sees her hubby next to her and realizes the baby was playing DRfeelGOOD!!!....so stupid scene....but she still didn't think anything is wrong with the baby!! ...and the baby crawling around...I've mentioned teeth already ...yeah and the movie takes place from 12/12/12 to 12/21/12 yeah baby from 0-9 days old ...OMG no more words left to say ....oh yeah -someone mentioned it before the only good part of the movie were the boobs...that movie is so bad that it comes to that wow You are better off taking a nap:)))