Dark Ride (2006)

I really don't know what to say. This film is terrible. I'm mean, it's not crap. It 'did' have some gory moments, but it just didn't cut it. It's one of those films looks good but is really crap when you come to watch it.I was expecting some interesting deaths considering the concept of the film. But really they were badly executed. Either by stabbing or slashing. It was terrible. The only death I did actually like was the ending part where the villain/clown got impaled in the spikes at the end. That to me, was one of the only epic scene from the film. Aside from the beginning which was pretty good.Now I'm not one for going on about clichés & I'm not. But this film took the cake. i.e. female soul survivor, lack of phone signal, naive characters, muscular lead character, a funny guy, whining 'hot' girls. Need I go on?The blood & gore was average, but the deaths were not. Especially considering it's an 18! Story line was OK, with a good twist but, a very VERY bad ending! It was quite confusing & crap! It sucked so bad!!Overall I'd say this film was disappointing. Though I bought this one 2nd hand I'm still down after watching this. I just don't understand how this would pass any directors standards! Wouldn't pass mine I can tell you that! It's still a mystery to me as to why films like this get made & aren't bloody or gory, let alone interesting enough! 2/10

I agree with the majority of voters that the movie "Dark Ride" is not exactly a masterpiece. Nevertheless, I think, director Craig Singer has to be thanked for having made the first movie of what is called either "dark ride" or "ghost train" in British English.In this Movie Database, there is a very concise definition of what we are speaking here: " 'Dark ride' is an old term used in the carnival business to describe rides that involve getting in a cart or buggy and traversing a dark, enclosed building designed to have characters or props appear at intervals, designed to surprise or entertain". However, the most important part of a dark ride, besides the maze-like horror cabinet, is forgotten here: the combination of rails and wheel. There are indeed "ghost houses" or "haunted houses" in the form of "walk-throughs", i.e. without carts or buggies driving through. Not only is it amazing that it took decades until the first movie was made about dark rides – a topic that is more than predestined to deliver the background for or like here the center of almost any thinkable form of horror. It is also amazing that the British term "dark ride" is almost unknown in the US – although there are dark rides even in small theme parks (stationary) or on fairgrounds (itinerant). The other British term, "ghost train", is ambiguous: On the one side, it is used for a real train driven or populated by ghosts (like in many movies under this title), or it is used for dark ride, being a literal translation of German "Geisterbahn".Ghost trains or dark rides or haunted houses appear first on German and Dutch fairgrounds in the early 1930ies. Their ancestors were "hollow trains", "scene railways" and generally horror cabinets, which came up in the late 19th century. When fairground business started to decline between the two World Wars, many of the famous German dark rides which were built by the legendary showman Hugo Haase, were sold to America. The best two-floor dark rides or ghost trains came for example to Coney Island where they have been gigantic attractions. However, the fate of these theme-rides has never been written. Why they did not even inspire a movie until 2006, when Singer's "Dark Ride" was released, stays a mystery. Moreover, dark rides hardly ever appear in American standard works about fairground art, although Geoff Warden and Richard Ward displayed in their art history reference work hundreds of pictures of both Europe-imported and US-built dark rides and similar theme-rides. Nowadays, it seems that the once fascinating rides through dark rides have been followed by horror movies under use of extensive special effects. However, watching a movie can never substitute a ride through a horror cabinet. Therefore, dark rides could perhaps be revitalized through using newer forms of horror provided by movies.

A "Dark Ride" is fairly similar to a horror film. It has facades meant to draw you into a fictitious world where creeps and spooks will jump out and say "boo!" Unfortunately, a "Dark Ride" is exactly the same as a bad horror movie. Cheap sets, too much smoke in a pathetic attempt to create atmosphere and no real cognitive pay off to the slight story lines devised.There isn't much good about the movie "Dark Ride." Everything in it is spare parts, which is a shame because it feels like the director, Craig Singer, and his writing partner Robert Dean Klein had something more in mind. The concept of a horror movie set inside of a semblance of a horror movie is an intriguing one. It is just totally wasted here.The cast is full of unlikable people. From the film geek who seems to have never seen a movie that wasn't directed by Cimino, to the horny guy with a van, everyone is stock and boring. I fell asleep trying to watch this movie, twice. The plot makes no sense and the final twist is the worst I have ever seen, bar none.The only bright spot is Andrea Bogart who is talented and incredibly beautiful. Whenever she was on screen, the movie came alive a bit. Unfortunately, her endearing stoner hitchhiker leaves the picture early and spends most of her brief screen time out of frame, pleasuring another cast member in an awfully staged oral sex scene that goes, intermittently for 20 minutes.The kills are lame. The cast is substandard. The cinematography is lazy and the colors are bland. The killer looks sort of cool, but his back story was too bizarre to make any sense. If you think about anything in this film for 5 minutes, it all falls apart. Don't waste your time.

Okay, maybe a lot of you guys already mentioned this (I haven't read all the comments) but there is a story by Dean Koontz telling something similar. A funhouse, a bunch of young kids and a murderer, a freak of nature... Greaaaat! The story kicks in! I thought... this could be wonderful cinema. Well, it wasn't! I never saw a worse movie than this one (or perhaps if I count in I'll always know what you did last summer, this would come in second place)!! I can't understand why this title was in the After Dark Horrorfest? There were so many other good ones left out... I don't say there were no good parts in it... a loved the story 'bout the twins in the beginning and the sex scene was a big laugh (especially the climax) but that was it. No good acting, no good plot, a good story just turned into a bad movie! I wasn't scared at all... Maybe I ask too much of a movie... I donno...