The Pumpkin Karver (2006)

I was at home innocently watching TV and saw this come on and thought I'd give it a try. Well like going to the zoo and having the monkey's throw their excrement on you, it was too late. It was like a horrible car crash with bodies covered on the ground that you just gotta watch to see how much more horrid this could possibly get. Did they get people on the side of the road with "will work/act for food?" What exactly was the point? Genre says horror/comedy. Hmm, I was neither scared and I laughed at the wrong times. I'm guessing the budget could have fed a family of four for a week and the creative genius behind the script of this blob of monkey spunk is now washing cars or working secretly as a gardener so the few people who were forced to watch don't try to off him to prevent any more creative outbursts. I don't know what the people at the network were thinking, but they probably just had hundreds of titles up on a wall and threw a dart which hit Pumpkin Karver. And like a lanced boil this movie oozes pus and rancidity at every contrived turn. So in conclusion, if you decide that you want to end your life you are probably going to hell (and if you've read this far you most certainly are). Just watch this movie over and over, and you my friend will know what hell will be like.

This film was very hard to rate. For a low budget horror flick, it wasn't bad, but it could have been so much better.First, it spent entirely too much time with the actors just acing stupid. Lots of hot girls running around, but the guys were just plain dumb. It wasted a lot of time that could have been spent on horror. After all, it is a Halloween slasher film.The old man was one of the best parts of the film. Now, he was really creepy. Lance (David Austin) and his buds were just like Draco Malfoy and his crew. You just wanted them to get their due.The pissing on the head bit was certainly original - and funny.Less silliness and more slashing.

Jonathan(Michael)is tormented by the tragic death at his hands, when he accidentally murdered his sister's boyfriend, thinking he was protecting her from a real killer during a really stupid prank gone awry. Lynn(Amy Weber) decides it might be best if they packed up and headed for a Halloween party in the boonies..the country farm plantation town of Carver for some much needed fun away from the horror of the past. Jonathan is receiving frightening supernatural threats from the person he killed and several teenagers are dying at the hands of a psycho in a warped pumpkin mask with a carving blade. Is the killer actually Lynn's dead boyfriend, who might've received a passage from hell to torment Jonathan? Could the killer actually be nutty, belligerent farmer Ben(Terrence Evans)who owns the plantation and has the unique ability to carve pumpkins skillfully?The kind of cheap slasher horror crap you expect with added moronic premise of a possible fiend from hell manifesting himself through Jonathan. The characters are the annoying boozer types you expect..it's too bad not enough them meet their doom. Cheap horror effects do not help matters. Amy Weber provides some much needed eye candy, quite well built in her tight jeans and smallish shirt. Minka Kelly as Jonathan's love interest Tammy provides a worthy heroine to root for. Not much to recommend about this one, except the setting provides old farm houses, steel sheds & silos for the killer to roam and hide. Unusual for this type of slasher flick..no nudity to speak of. Not as many death sequences either, and most of those are unsuccessfully lame or off-camera. Terrence Evans is quite over-the-top as farmer Ben, always ranting and raving like a loony regarding everyone's lack of the ability to carve..not to mention the jargon he spits about Jonathan's evil taking over. There are actually kids in this film named Bonedaddy and Spinner..so if that doesn't inform you what kind of movie awaits nothing will.

I saw this movie in the theater on it's opening night (a preview). I've got to say, it has a very creative plot twist right out of the gate which I think sets it aside from most of the low budget, predictable horror flicks. There are a lot of fun, weird kill scenes (my favorite killing is the guy who gets it at the pumpkin patch). Okay, so we're not seeing any big movie stars running around in this movie, but you can't gage a horror movie on it's star power. It's a low budget hack and slasher but it's right up there with all the other low budget hack and slashers. I believe this movie has the potential to become one of those popular, underground horror flicks. A nice rental...