The Norseman (1978)

The historical position that Viking Norsemen had contact with Inuits or Algonquins from the fringes of Northeast America is debatable if not highly improbable. But according to some Viking sagas there are unreliable literary claims that this happened. Based on the AI production of The Norseman this takes the historical claim to wildly preposterous levels. I did a little research after I saw this dreadful film and discovered that all they had correct were a couple of historical names and the god they worshiped (Onid) accurate.As for the movie itself we see poorly choreographed battles sketches with clumsy jump cuts, edits and inappropriate usage of slow motion. Now I read some of the other reviews and some are quite scathing and hilarious. Teeing off on a bad movie can be fun some of you did a good job of promoting mockery and satire. Oh, but only if this movie was a satire it would be forgivable. But it's not, unfortunately. The Norseman is a 1970's B-Movie that looks more like a 1950's B- Movie with all of its cut rate production values, bad costumes, wooden acting, grandiose score and redundant tone. The problem here is that it's even worse than your average 1950's period movie.Listening to Vikings talk with southern accents while uttering archaic dialogue is obviously just a case of bad acting and the inability to capture the proper mood for a period film. As such, the result here is just bizarre. Lee Majors plays the lead commander (Thorvald) and can't seem to shed his normal persona of a Good Old boy. Now I'll try to be kind about Lee. I have nothing against the guy personally and I don't think he is a bottom rate actor, but he looks so out of place in this type of role. And i couldn't quite figure out his outfit which looked like a hodgepodge of historical costume anachronisms. His helmet and facial guard looked like a cheaply designed helm of a Roman legionnaire. His face mask looked more like a Lone ranger eye mask. The rest of his outfit looked like a poorly tailored S&M fetish outfit.And don't forget that ex-NFL Lineman, Deacon Jones, has a non- speaking role as the Black Viking who was enslaved by the Norsemen during a raid on the African Coast. Alright, I understand that the vikings did at one time venture by the coast of Africa, followed by the Roman victory over the Vikings and Visigoths, but the likelihood is highly improbable. I guess it was part of the 1970's social equanimity conscious that influenced this film to incorporate a Black actor.The rest of the cast doesn't bode too well either. The Native Indians are shown as screeching savages. The Viking hoard are adorned with their goofy furs, Horned helmets ( I heard this was inaccurate) and swords. Susie Coehlle offers some eye candy as a young Native woman who befriends the Norsemen to help them find their captive family members. After reading the reviews i was hoping to discover that if the movie is so universally perceived as crappy then it must be worth laughing at. But it wasn't for me. It was just boring and nauseating to the point that I wanted everyone, especially the Norsemen players, to be slain by the Indians.

A band of courageous Vikings led by mighty warrior Thorvald (woodenly played with hopelessly stiff earnestness by Lee Majors) go to America to rescue their beloved Norse king Eurich (Mel Ferrer sporting laughable flowing blonde hair and beard) from the evil clutches of a savage tribe of Iroquois Indians.Writer/director Charles B. Pierce really fumbles the ball with often uproarious results: The dodgy accents, highly questionable historical accuracy, glaring anachronisms, some seriously egregious casting (Jerry Lewis movie regular Kathleen Freeman as an irate old Indian woman and Jack Elam as a sinister wizard complete with cowl, falcon, and hunchback win the grand booby prizes), clumsy use of strenuous slow motion, the ridiculously solemn narration, and a few ineptly staged battle set pieces all give this gloriously atrocious gut-buster a certain irresistible kitschy allure. Cornel Wilde fares well as the noble Ragnar, the luscious Susie Coelho cuts a mighty fetching figure in revealing animal skins as helpful fair maiden Winetta, and Jimmy Clem manages to be both credible and endearing as lionhearted mute hulk Olif. Jamie Mendoza-Nava's thunderous score hits the stirring spot. Robert Bethard's sumptuous widescreen cinematography provides a handsome sweeping look. An absolute hoot and a half.

That's my only comment. I see that the Susie of the movie was Sonny Bono's 3rd wife. But I swore she was Sarandon throughout the film until I checked IMDb. I'm surprised no one else noted this. Am I blind? Or did Sarandon secretly block this on her resume? I need 10 lines. The rest is filler. I actually enjoyed the movie. But agree with how awful it was. Oh, to be a kid again. Then one could enjoy nonsense thoroughly. I had thought this might be a Cornel Wilde production. He did some pretty seedy films, though some good ones too. I thought Majors had plenty of competition for bad acting in this film. But the color was fine. And there was excitement. Gotta lower your cynicysm.

I am sitting at home watching THE NORSEMAN on TV, trying to pick my incredulous chin up off the floor. This movie must be seen by film students so they can learn everything NOT to do in making a movie. For example: Lee Majors (THORVALD) and the boy playing his Norse son deliver arch dialog in southern American accents...The Caucasian looking Indians with perfect Herbal Essence hairstyles...and perfect teeth..(that tribe must have a really good dental plan) Lee Majors sports a late 1970's mustache and hair style...He probably was on hiatus from a series and refused to restyle his hair...The Max Factor warpaint on the Indians' faces...and the lack of "Light Egyptian" on their bodies...Irish actress, Kathleen Freeman, as an old Indian woman... The "ultra realistic" Canadian location (NOT!), complete with palm trees and Spanish Moss... How did they get the money to make this thing? Where can I get some for my films??? This film is like a train wreck....painful to watch but absolutely riveting in its awfulness. The only area that deserves praise is the cinematography...the exteriors look pretty good... the cinematographer must have picked up the gig to pay for a fishing expedition or a vacation to Hawaii... In the words of many a great Norseman, .....Oy Vey!!!