Bail Out (1990)

Bail Out is a silly action/adventure/comedy which isn't very funny, at least not intentionally. The original title "W.B., Blue and the Bean" (which appears after the end credits, while "Bail Out" is the title in the opening credits. Did they forget to change it?) should give some indication of the movie's intentions.Roger "White Bread" Donaldson (or W.B. for short) (The Hoff) is a part-time tennis instructor and part-time bounty hunter. He has two associates - you guessed it - Mason "Blue" Walcott (Tony Brubaker) and, of course, The Bean (Tom Rosales). When heiress Nettie Ridgeway (Blair) is abducted by drug lords (led by Cummins of Action U.S.A. (1989) fame as Zaldizar) and spirited away to Mexico, it's up to our three heroes to save the day. They have to get her to court on time in order to collect a million dollars. The three buddies want to open their own bail bondsmanship so they can stop working for the haranguing Aram Haronian, their boss. Will they succeed? While it is funny to see the mighty Hasselhoff with his mullet and giant cell phone hamming it up for all the world to see, and an attempt is made at politically-incorrect humor ("these guys drive worse than the Orientals!", "Roasted Colombians, nothing' finer!", etc.) sadly it all seems a bit forced and unfunny. Once they get to Mexico, there is a stereotype Mexican character that is very, very annoying. The movie was already on pretty thin ice by then, and the addition of this character did not help at all.There are some car chases, shootouts and horseback riding, and the cast is full of familiar faces such as Trejo, Flower, the Hoff, Blair, and a surprising appearance by Gregory Scott Cummins as the drug lord. We were so used to seeing him as the all-American good guy from Action U.S.A. He truly has a lot of versatility. John Vernon is also on hand as Linda Blair's father. What is he truly up to? Nothing really weird or truly noteworthy happens in Bail Out. It's all pretty standard fare, so stupid at times it almost insults the audience's intelligence. We know it's a direct to video movie starring The Hoff, but come on. Give us some credit here. But then again it was directed by Max Kleven, the "mastermind" behind Fugitive Champion (1997). At least Chip Mayer was nowhere in sight. So if you can survive all the groaners for jokes and some middling action, you MAY be entertained by Bail Out if you are in the right mood (i.e., a really goofy mood).Bail Out was released on VHS in the U.S. on the great Vestron label. We couldn't find any commercially-released version of the film under the "W.B. Blue and the Bean" moniker. If you have a picture of that, please send it in.For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

OK,first up,you have to overlook the immediately noticeable poor video quality once you've placed this cinematic masterpiece into your DVD player(or downloaded it,but lets face it, its 99p in most stores,the cover artwork is worth it alone!).If you can get past this first hurdle, you then have to face an opening soundtrack that can only be what some studio had left once Debbie had done Dallas,and Emanuelle had gone into space.....bring on the Porno-Funk!!!But believe me once you pass this you are going to witness what must be the the most ridiculous movie committed to celluloid ever...but it so unashamedly knows it,and for that it is brilliant.The Hoff swaggers his way through tennis practice,hot showers,product advertisement(i wasn't aware tennis and sportswear manufacturer Head made car interiors,but some lingering shots in this film make sure I,and anyone else who has watched this,now do!),oh yeah and gunfights with stereotyped Columbian gangsters(who seem like they were also left overs from the same studios as the soundtrack).The plot is like a stretched out episode of Baywatch,minus the beach and the women,with badly shot stunts,car chases,(oh yeah,check the overdubbing on the Hoffs car to give it a bigger roar,it revs when he is parking!!)and random filler scenes...the supporting cast,including a much more scary than in the Exorcist Linda Blair,are OK enough,but lets face it,as with all his projects,The Hoff and his immaculately placed hair are the stars of the show,resulting in cheesy lines,cheesy grins and cheesy slow mo''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSS'' before a dive to shoot down the badguys helicopter.With a flare gun.Classic!Also notice the long pause between said slo mo and actual firing of missile.On a rope.(you'll see what i mean.)Basically Hoff is one of a trio of bounty hunters,Linda Blair the rich heiress caught with a drugs baron,then kidnapped,Hoff and pals try and rescue her,including heading to Mexico,all for a lousy five grand paycheck(plus the endorsement money from Head!)Now it might sound like i hated it,but all the badly made elements fall together nicely to form a so-bad-its bad-its good masterpiece,like a season of Baywatch squeezed into 90 minutes,tacky,cheap but goddamn irresistible!

Apparently when David Hasselhoff read the script and saw his on screen partners would be a Hispanic character and a token afro American he thought "my god i can feel the on-screen chemistry already!" - HE WAS WRONG! DEAD WRONG! When you see this film you really just want to say "gee Dave music really is the best career for you!" this film is unbelievably confusing, for starters its never explained why Hasselhoffs character is called Whitebread! AWESOME!!! The film is described as an action comedy which it is in a way, Hasselhoff wandering around trying to save some bint from drug lords whilst waving a pistol around like its a sock is some of the best unintentional comedy ever! The only explanation for Linda Blair agreeing to do this movie is that the priest didn't do a good enough job! as she must have been temporarily possessed by the demons of straight to the 99p bin in asda, ironically i bought this movie for 2p less in tesco, i could have spent it on something far more entertaining like a bath mat! all in all you should see this film if only to see Hasselhoffs awesome guns!

When I originally saw this flick, I didn't think it was that good of a film. I thought it was pretty cool/cheesy though. Cut to a few days ago when I watched it again and I was blown away. This movie was far better than I remembered it to be. The action scenes are some of the best in direct-to-video cinematic history. It's hard to believe that this went direct-to-video since it is way better than any theatrically released action film that came out at the time. No review of this movie would be complete without saying that John Vernon is the man. Ever since ANIMAL HOUSE, Vernon has appeared in a number of truly excellent underrated movies such as this one. 6/10