Essex Boys Retribution (2013)

The second in what is now a trilogy of a third retelling (Cus ow, ar, us farmhands like a bit of Essex glamour, bah) of a gang hit eighteen years ago from the date of Retribution's production and i'm bored already. Why the hell was this made! Nonetheless, that comparatively prolific production company Press on Features did it again. Another TV movie masquerading as a feature existing only for that sweet, sweet tax break son. The best thing about this by the numbers Essexploitation is the plot, which is the closest any of Press On's output has gotten to psychotronic. I thought when i first saw the, yeah, decent cover on my local Asda shelf that no, seriously? A sequel for a film that based (and prided) itself explicitly on a true story, no false names or nah'ing? Yes son, they even have in this one of the convicted for the murder played AGAIN by Billy Murray (Rise of the Footsoldier AND Fall of the Essex Boys, playing same REAL guy) and he's the narrative spine! What were they playing at? A plea for parole? An awkward fix to get just that bit more of Murray's Kray inheritance pumped into this vanilla? I'm not going into more detail about this character's role because I'm not risking the ire of the keyboard warriors of the frappe table for something as non-existent as this... this. But in safely short, Murray's character's role in this is the most WTF element of the whole film and is the only thing worth seeing it for, unambiguously exploiting real life murder and turning it into some kind of brand recognition boll*cks. Christ, only in South-East. At least up north with efforts such as crime/found footage joint Diary of a Bad Lad (2010), they have had the common courtesy of creating a fictional story with fictional characters and left the oh so "USP" realism at just the aesthetics. Not down 'ere, we want bloody autopsy photos. So what's the point me harking on about the morally dubious story? Well because everything else is just a TV pilot with swears and a bit of the ol' ultra violence. Was there sex in this? I can't be asked to remember, i honestly can't. But if there wasn't, another star down. What really gets me about this arena of filmmaking is when these clowns get the idea that audience satisfaction is not the end all goal. Sure, ambition, go for it. But it's no social taboo why these films have any rightful claim to popularity at all. It's the violence, it's the sex, it's the drugs. With hooligan films, maybe add a sprinkling of hawkishness and machismo to the mix, but still, DELIVER! Deliver us from reality! All reality! Not just drop us off at that ruff pate a tane and have us wait around for last orders! Concerning the film's content, there are a gang of four who just look liked they graduated from J Wills U, oh and one of them, or all of them, are computer genius', and of course all this is somehow linked to the Rettendon murders (You remember, the real murders that has inspired this dead on arrival sub-genre). There are some cops who want to take em 'dain, cat and mouse, there's a decently improvised and edited interrogation scene, some torture, some killing, oh my, blink and you miss it, ah and that's it i think. Crap. Gentlemen filmmakers wanting to make such efforts (and ladies, but who am i kidding), the scenes of carnage and sex/filth/debauchery/lasciviousness/whatever the fu*k you wanna call it are all. Build your story around them, cause these UK armchair critics might scoff at these efforts, but when they say "expected descent drama/acting/direction" (please loveys, you fooling no one), but are actually saying is "no blood, no t*ts, no service". CARNAGE PLEASE! WHERE'S MY VIOLENT PRAGMATISM? Might as well watch mock the bloody week! Got more of a chance seeing t*ts and dramatic tension there then you do in A f**king Paul Tanter Film. Fair dos to Tanter and all involved, as much as i want to one star such a redundant and passion impoverished film, i can't comrades. Socialism is dead. Stop pretending you're a wizard and get back to work! Brexit ain't gonna work by it's... well it ain't gonna work, but u still look bloody stupid in ya sandals. Why daunt u wear sneakers and beat your children like a real man an all dat. Where was i? Retribution is not a bad film, but just a very unremarkable one. Moment's of cinema sleepwalk in and out as the great British gangster film wanders the care home hallways like as in most contemporary efforts. A good delivery here, a spiffy line there, some good shots even, minus the stock that wasn't shipped over from the first film. But none of it's enough to save this film from just being no more original than the seven hundred entries into it's genre before it and technically being no more dynamic than a TV pilot. All this with the consideration of the aggro an independent feature production brings and you have grim faces all around.Cheap nothingness.

Sat down and watched this the other night and to be honest wasn't too impressed with what I saw.The essex boys story needs to be left alone now there's been too many films based on this event,and this one is by far the worse! although the concept of this film had the potential to be good.the film follows on from essex boys and follows four brothers In there attempt to rise to be the new top boys about town.The casting and acting really lets it down shocking.especially the main 4 characters, they ain't very convincing in there roles. Its not all bad, there are the occasional funny and entertaining moments. Id say its worth a watch you might enjoy it, each to there own!! I would rate this 5/10 Enjoy!

Review: This is your typical East End wannabe gangster movie about 4 drug dealers that mess with the wrong people. It's connected to the famous Range Rover killings, which they have made quite a few English movies about, but it starts off well and then it goes downhill. The acting Is just like all the other English gangster movies that you have seen, and the storyline is full of drugs, sex and violence which we have grown to expect from movies in this genre. I stuck with the movie to find out what was going to happen with the 3 brothers and the drug maker, and there are a couple of twists that make it interesting, but it's nothing amazing. It seemed quite low budget and I couldn't help thinking that the boys should have left the country from the time that they knew that someone was after them or when the cops started to put pressure on them. They didn't even try to hide, which was a bit strange, and they just stayed in there flat when they new that people wanted to murder them. Anyway, it's watchable but not one that you will rewind. Round-Up: I usually get ticked off when I see the usual faces in these English gangster movies, but this movie really needed some of the old tough nuts that we have seen many times before. Billy Murray is stuck in jail throughout the movie so you hardly see him at all. The 4 main characters just seem like a bunch of kids trying to play a big mans game, and they just get too big for there boots. To be honest, I don't know why they didn't get murdered earlier on in the movie because there not really underworld material.Budget: $1million Worldwide Gross: N/AI recommend this movie to people who are into there English gangster movies which are full of sex, drugs & violence. 3/10

A true sequel to The Fall of the Essex Boys, but a completely separate movie that is in no way dependent on the earlier film from just 10 months ago. A well run bank job starts things off on a great note, and the whole time you are given a story tellers perspective like The Usual Suspects, just the style not that there is anything untrue being said. Really nice use of clips from the earlier film as shots from the "Original" Essex Boys. Good cast really felt like they were all putting in the effort, and I was able to believe in them, and hate them all at times.I Enjoyed this movie for the action, some comedy, and a lot of great Bro love. They are so tight. So I would say give this one a go anytime, but it's not for kids; unless you just leave them unsupervised all the time at home anyway, then what do you care right? There is a lot of the bad word "See You Next Tuesday" in this though it is from the UK, but there is a lot so be warned.