Dondi (1961)

To me, seeing "Dondi" is a special treat. It's the 44th film I've seen from the book "The 50 Worst Films of All Time" by Harry Medved--and I hope to one day see them all. Now this is no easy task--it's taken me decades to see this many and a few of them just aren't available on video or DVD--mostly because most of the films truly are terrible. So why have I tried so hard to duplicate Harry's task? Well, the films on this list are truly hilarious because they are THAT bad--and from what I read about "Dondi", it sounded like one of the worst. So is it THAT bad and was it worth the wait?! Well, it IS that bad...and then some!Not particularly talented David Kory plays the title character--a saccharinely sweet orphan who spouts such marvelous dialog as "Thanks Mr. G.I.-Buddy" and "Goshers! Chow! Is sure smelling good, Mr. Dealey-Buddy. Is tasting good, too?"! The net result leads the viewer to wonder whether he's meant to be a poor orphan or just a half-wit! Judging not just by the dialog but Kory's often baffling expressions, I'd vote on the latter! This sickening little kid wanders into a US military base on Christmas Eve and is befriended by the soldiers in one of the barracks. He spends the night with the guys (that's pretty creepy) and the next day the men find out they are being sent home. But what about Dondi?! No one even considers seeing their C.O. about the kid or contacting some relief organization. They just leave the kid with a bag of often useless items to tide him over until he reaches adulthood (such as a blackjack and some cigars)--apparently Dondi isn't the only half-wit in the film! As for the soldiers, they are all one-dimensional stereotypes--with three who standout because they are so ridiculous. There's Arnold Stang as the momma's boy wimp. Then there's the Brooklyn Italian mobster-type (Robert Strauss). And, finally, there's David Janssen as the rich, cynical playboy. None of these have any depth and none of these actors has a chance to play anyone even approximating a real human being.On the way back home to the States, the men are surprised to learn that Dondi has stolen himself aboard the troop ship. Apparently security wasn't very good back then, as the slow-witted Dondi seemed able to easily sneak on military bases and Naval ships.Once back home, the soldiers lose track of Dondi. After all, he's just a human being--and quite easy to misplace!! The rest of the film is spent looking for the little munchkin and there's even a nation-wide search for him!! Yes, all of America comes to a screeching halt looking for this runt! Heck, there's more hysteria around this than when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor!! Columnist Walter Winchell makes a nation-wide appeal for the kid and Patti Page even sings a sickeningly sweet song composed just for this darling(??). For much of the film, we get to see 'funny'(???) ways that Dondi discovers New York--such as climbing up a down escalator and wandering the streets with a blind beggar. By the end of the film, not only is Dondi found by the formerly cynical playboy (Janssen), but he and his fiancée (Patti Page) have agreed to adopt the kid. Frankly, I would have just turned him in to authorities--hoping they would deport the little moron.While the film is exceptionally nauseating and cloying, it's made worse by the sound effects and much of the soundtrack. The film makers apparently spared no expense and did this with a harmonica! Hearing this instrument blaring throughout the film (especially to accentuate 'funny' situations) was too much for any hearing person to bear. It's one of the few times I envied my daughter's deafness! Combining this with bad acting, atrocious writing, god-awful dialog (particularly Winchell's speech and EVERYTHING Dondi says) and dumbness on every level, it's a hard film to take--and one that probably STILL would be included on an updated list of 50 worst films. Why? Because it's not just bad on every level but because it tries so hard to be heart-warming and succeeds only in eliciting laughs (and possibly nausea).My favorite horrible moment in this film? When Dondi is on his knees appealing through prayer to 'the biggest Buddy of them all' (God). It's enough to make all the viewers seriously consider converting to atheism!!

I was 5 years old when I saw this movie. Even then I knew it was bad. My sisters and I (both older) STILL say the line "are you in there, lady buddy?" or is it 'lady-body'? Still unsure of that. It was a waste of $.50 then, and would be a waste of $3.99 now to rent it! Rent 'The Courtship of Eddie's Father' instead. Ronnie Howard - who I had a little crush on then - is adorable, Shirley Jones lovely and Dina Merrill positively icy-cold. Watch for ingénue Stella Stevens - wow. Or rent buy the TV series (started in 1969) of the same name. Bill Bixby (another crush - hey, I know my men!) is handsome, yummy and acted like a really good dad. Brandon Cruz lived in my neighborhood - Westchester, CA.

It was 1977. My brother was lying on the couch with the worst toothache of his life. All he could do was lie there hurting. Then my sister turned on the t.v. and Dondi was on. For half an hour, my brother lay there growing angrier and angrier at the sound of Dondi's voice, which has been known to cause heads to explode. Finally, my brother got so sick of the treacly parade of sap that is Dondi that he said one word in disgust: "Dumbi". The pain of the movie was worse than the pain of his tooth. My brother thought he suffered enough, but after Dondi came the movie Dunderklumpen. Let's just say he forgot all about his toothache.

WWII is ending and now the Americans have occupied Italy. Dondi is an orphan, his home destroyed; little hope for the future. Dealy is a hard-boiled GI with no interest in kids, but for some reason, Dondi takes a liking to him and just won't go away, no matter what Dealy does. When Dealy is rotated Stateside, Dondi stows away.This film is very sentimental, with the little boy, Dondi, reminiscent of Hamchunk, Jim Hutton's tag-along, in The Green Berets (David Janssen is in that film, too), or Mitsuo, the little boy who follows after Jerry Lewis, in The Geisha Boy.As a kid, this movie was one of my favorites. I would love to view it, now, with my own children. While it is not one of the "Great Ones", it is well worth a watch.