Dark Wolf (2003)

Sometimes u do get tempted by the DVD cover n the fake inverted commas reviews on it. Take examples of The Vanguard, Dark Wolf, Blooded, etc. Sometimes they mislead us by posters of famous actors who appear for jus a cameo. Sometimes they jus write, from the director followed by some name which u later come to know that he is a nobody. I saw this on a pirated DVD for 50 rupees in 2008. The plot, i know who cares for an ultra micro budget trash. The film opens in a topless strip club. We see lots of boobs. A biker causes a ruckus, the police come to arrest him. He's handcuffed, and thrown into the back of the wagon. He turns in a werewolf, eats a policeman, and escapes.... The transformations are quite possibly the worst ever seen in a werewolf movie n the bad gorilla costume, the less said the better. It has everything bad. Atrocious editing, bad acting, awful direction. Sometimes i feel movies like these r purposely made jus to show expenses or losses to the income tax department. Or maybe the makers jus get the sadistic pleasure by making us see their trash.

OK, this movie starts off in a strip club.On the one hand, I have some really bad experiences with movies that start off this way or include strip clubs in any major sense. On the other hand, I really like strip clubs in real life. So I'll keep watching and hope this isn't a bad omen.Well, the preponderance of plastic boobies is a bad sign. So is the cheesy special effect thing making the guy's eyes glow red. Not by itself a bad concept but it looks like my nephew colored it with crayon. I'm starting to wonder why I torture myself like this.Less than 10 minutes into the film, I'm realizing just how bad this movie is. The acting is melodramatic at best, the FX are laughable, the dialogue sounds completely cheesy. I'll keep watching, just in case it's bad enough to be good.Fifteen minutes in, we're treated to some explanation about "pure-bred werewolves" and "hybrid werewolves" that started almost a millennium ago. Logic isn't particularly valued here. It is shaping up to be one of those it's-so-bad-you-have-to-watch-this movies.Twenty minutes in, we get a speech that basically says "we're all going to die unless this one girl realizes something for herself but we can't interfere to let her know what's going on." Just under half an hour, we have bystanders picking up things at a crime scene and saying loudly, "What is this?" Then they walk off carrying it with police all around – and the antagonist, who is in the crowd, doesn't follow them.The film doesn't really get much better from this point. It continues the trend toward absolute zero IQ rather quickly. To be honest, it's not even in the so-bad-it's-good category. It appears to be more in the so-bad-it's-unwatchable category. Pubescent boys might get a kick out of the plastic mammaries displayed on occasion, but even that is so infrequent as to not even be a selling point. That being said, I must say that the scene around fifty minutes and afterwards was somewhat interesting.Low budget, this catastrophe doesn't even have the campiness factor to be even a little redeeming. It was probably the worst horror flick I've seen in quite some time. And that's saying a lot.But OK, some ways it could have been made better: (1) more of an explanation (and a logical one) as to what was actually going on; (2) double the FX budget (better $200 than $100); (3) deliberately go for campiness and dark humour instead of having it be unintentional; (4) more naked chicks, less plastic tits (just because that always makes things better); (5) hire someone to write dialogue instead of letting your kid brother do it as a 7th-grade project; (5b) alternatively, hire a director who can direct something more than traffic. \ I'm sorry, was I harsh in my review? Yes. Did this movie deserve that level of harshness? No. It deserved much, much worse. I'm giving this move a 1.5 out of 10 rating. It's that high only because I've seen movies that are actually worse than this one.

Dark Wolf (Quick Review) Let's get right to it: This is a repugnant piece of rotting roadkill with cow sh*t on it. It's just an awful movie. It's an urban werewolf movie with some of the worst acting imaginable and a story as weak as any gangly nerd from an 80's high school drama film. What's worse is that poor Kane Hodder was duped into playing the gigantic evil werewolf. Kane f*cking Hodder. Someone's trying to ensure that playing Jason Voorhees is the height of his film career...Anyway, former Playmate Jaime Bergman is also in the movie and she eventually becomes a werewolf, too. It's kind of a crappy cop drama with the world's worst looking werewolf in it. But it does have moments of near-rampant nudity. But that's about all. Want to know more? Okay, the werewolf is generally an ugly-looking black blur zipping around the screen. And when we're privileged enough to actually see a transformation sequence, we're presented with something that resembles a full-motion video from a video game made during the early stages of the Playstation. The first Playstation. The CG animation is really that primitive. Only good for horror hardcore fanatics that want to see small moments of nudity surrounded by rampant visual vomit. 2/10www.ResidentHazard.com

The only reason I even watched this was because I found it at my local library (and will berate them mercilessly for having wasted public monies on it), and despite the plethora of tits and ass, it didn't take long to realize that the fast-forward button was my friend. Terrible direction, pedestrian camera work, sporadically bad-to-nearly-passable acting, chintzy effects, and one of the worst screenplays I've had the displeasure of seeing brought to life (such as it was, horribly crippled and mutilated) in a long, long time. Best laughs actually come from the "Making of..." featurette, in which the poor saps involved with this HDV mess attempt to justify their lame efforts as if they had been working on something special, instead of something that won't be utterly forgotten next week. Wait! Except for the fact that somehow someone lured Tippi "The Birds" Hedren, of all people, into doing a bit part, along with Kane "Friday the 13th" Hodder! How this came to pass, I'll never know, and to be honest, I don't really care. Watch at your own risk, and don't say you haven't been warned. This is film-making at its pretentious, craven worst. It only gets a 2 from me for having some good-looking naked women, and even then, just barely.