BreadCrumbs (2011)

RELEASED IN 2011 and directed by Mike Nichols (not the famous director), "Bread Crumbs" is a slasher taking place on remote Long Island where a 9-person crew travel to shoot a porn flick at a rented house in the woods. Unfortunately for them, two weird teens and perhaps a woodsman are lurking in the area and the crew starts getting violently assaulted one-by-one.The reason I watched this movie is because it was included in a DVD multi-pack of slashers where the five other films were no-budget independent flicks. What's strange is that "Bread Crumbs" doesn't fit that category because this is a slasher that smacks of professionalism. Now, people may not like it, but it IS a professionally-made movie. But, is it any good? I think so, here's why...While the topic of a porn crew is distasteful (to me, at least) it's a perfect set-up for the slasher tradition that sexual immorality equals death. Although a couple of the crew are unlikable, most of them are more-or-less genial with past-her-prime Angie particularly winning the viewer's sympathy (Marianne Hagan). Two of 'em are the requisite sexpots, a typical vapid blond (Alana Curry) and a voluptuous equally-vapid brunette (Zoe Sloane).The "Hansel and Gretel" characters look to be around 17 (Henry) and 16 (Patti). The former is played by Dan Shaked while the latter by Amy Crowdis. Patti is a somewhat interesting character and Amy possesses a unique beauty.The tone is austere with maybe a little realistic humor thrown-in, but the air quickly turns dead serious by the second act with suspense effectively building. Meanwhile you wonder the purpose behind the attacks and who's going to live, if any. The cinematography features some awesome visuals, particularly in the last act, and the score & soundtrack are fitting.THE MOVIE RUNS 88 minutes and was shot in far eastern Long Island, New York (Sag Harbor & Southhampton).GRADE: B ADDITIONAL COMMENTARY ***SPOILER ALERT*** (Don't read further if you haven't seen the movie).An armchair critic argued that the crew could easily overpower the two teens & the woodsman, but (1.) it was night, (2.) they didn't know the area, and (3.) they didn't have any weapons. By contrast, the antagonists (1.) lived there, (2.) knew the area well, and (3.) had several weapons, including bow & arrows, knives, axes and hidden traps. Besides, Henry wasn't a kid and could have easily been around 20 years-old, same thing with Patti. Then there's the woodsman who was a formidable full-fledged adult.Lastly, the crew wasn't sure how many people were behind the attacks. Some of their colleagues were either seriously wounded or dead and they were understandably freaking out and simply seeking a way to survive the night and following day.

BREADCRUMBS is yet ANOTHER slasher-in-the-woods low budget horror flick made with a paucity of imagination or style. It's dull beyond belief, and I'm not going to give the film-makers a break just because they didn't have any money to shoot; the British film-makers behind HAROLD'S GOING STIFF had nothing to work with either and they made a funny, genuinely heartwarming zombie film.The cartoon credits are the best thing about BREADCRUMBS and it all goes downhill from there. The storyline sees a modern-day Hansel and Gretel lurking in the woods, where they encounter the cast and crew of a porn shoot taking place in an EVIL DEAD-style cabin. What follows is a mildly gruesome slasher flick, with the deaths all happening in the most predictable way imaginable.The characters are poorly written and unlikeable and most of the plotting in the second half evolves around the most obvious and unworkable twist ever, so I don't know why they even bothered. Needless to say the cast and crew are all sub-par as well, making this a virtually worthless viewing experience.

Okay, they start out with this really cool and Gothic animated intro sequence that shows the origin of the "kids". Such a pity that it turns out it's the best part of the movie! It really was pretty much downhill from there. I personally thought a lot of this was kind of okay, it was a little better than mediocre, but it was still bad though-at the same time! It was very uneven and all over the place. I'm sort of in the middle when it comes to it myself. It was certainly never an even remotely frightening film, and it always lacked any suspense. Definitely nothing too spectacular here. Most of the actors were just straight-up bleh, and were just completely boring and held no interest for me at all. And when they finally started to drop I just didn't care. What I did care for the most about this flick was the far-out twisted siblings Pattie and Henry. There was something poignant and compellingly mysterious about them. I thought that "Adam's Family" thing that they had going on was great, I got that they were "evil", but they just weren't scary or even creepy! Shame, really. I also liked Marianne Hagan as Angie. I found her whole mid-life crisis and gravely misguided motherly affinity for Pattie interesting. ::: Amy Crowdis was so weird...like she was from Mars or something! She looked a lot like a young Alicia Witt. I have an inkling that most of the hate for this movie is actually due to her insufferable humming, which is indeed highly aggravating and annoying. Her character was okay, in a freaky lightheaded kooky kind of way. She makes me laugh in the scene where she badmouths the guy who's wife she has just "accidently" dropped on the floor, causing the arrows pin-cushioning her body to impale her further and polish her off! She sounded really amateurish and stupid near the end when she spouts some pathetic girly nonsense about "houses of candy" that just sounded totally meaningless. I did find Dan Shaked to be much better, although together they did make a good haunting duo. I loved Dan's performance. He kinda came off as a gay retard, which I thought was so funny. The murmurous voice he used with his few lines was so strange, he sounded like a little boy. I liked his sinister body language and the robotic way that he moved. I really love a little vocal exchange between him and Hagan where he says some-I guess it's supposed to be cryptic stuff about a woodsman and being "very cut and dry..." I thought he spoke the words so beautifully. One of the very few highlights is the great big what-the-f**k moment when Henry breaks his composure and completely wigs out!!! His friggin' huge girlish shrieks of insanity are all the more hilarious to hear because up to that point the character has been so completely rigid and subdued. I also thought he was really cute and adorable with his pouty little puppydog expression! He is my favourite thing about this movie. ::: I thought the theme tune was really great, bittersweet and ominous and quite soothing, to me. That's the main problem with this film, it's not really any kind of Hansel and Gretal tale, nor anything remotely fantasy whatever. But as slashers go, I thought it was a different approach. It's definitely not a good one by any means, I personally enjoyed it but I can see how many will think it poor or worse. But it's peculiar and odd and uh, I like that about it! Things even get a tad surreal and atmospheric during the final act. I do not get that ending. Were they gonna kill her too? Or was she one of them now? Had they finally found their "mommy..." It sure is an unsatisfying floaty type of ending, but overall, I think as long as you go at it not expecting something brilliant and try to like it for what it is, you might just find yourself enjoying this little house of rotten candy!

A group of porn filmmakers are systematically attacked by two children on the set of a remote shoot.We have actress Kristina Klebe here, and a whole lot of unknowns in the woods being preyed upon by "kids" (more like young adults) who think they are Hansel and Gretel. It fails on many levels. The first, and most obvious, was not using kids to play the kids.The porn aspect is done decently, including a nice parody of the "Big Sausage Pizza" series of films. But I am not really sure why they had to be porn stars. It could have been any random group of people -- the only difference here being that we have a sex scene. But the porn is not central to the plot like (the much better) "One Eyed Monster".There probably is no reason to see this one. People in the woods getting killed. We have seen this before. Sure, it has a few new angles, and there is a lot of potential for a good Hansel and Gretel story. This just was not the right one.