Monstroid (1980)

Sure, this is one of them bad movies, but on the other hand, it's yet another good bad movies! The sexual politics of this one alone are hilarious, but wait till you get a load of the monster.A woman is having a bit of a dance for her boyfriend while he lounges in a hammock ignoring her next to a lake and the next thing you know he's being grabbed by a huge slimy claw and killed. The lake is in Colombia, but the cement factory next to the lake is US owned. Back in the US, the boss of the factory explains to troubleshooter Jim Mitchum (in between groping his secretary) that Jim's go to go down there and sort things out, as a local revolutionary called Sanchez is causing trouble by claiming pollution from the factory has caused some sort of monster to go on the rampage. There's also a news reporter there also reporting on the pollution.Jim's got to go down there and clean up the whole mess. In the town by the lake, the factory boss is having trouble dumping his girlfriend for the mayor's daughter and gets confused doing so and then they end up having sex by the lake, followed by a classic dumping by the factory boss, resulting in the creature chewing the girlfriend's legs off (one of the few gore pieces of the film).Naturally, Jim's put out by this, and a confrontation with Sanchez, and as Sanchez says: "We'll see who kicks who's arse". He's also having run ins with the reporter (seemingly being paid to hang about one place reporting on every single thing that happens there), as this is the seventies, Jim gets her in the sack pretty shortly. Add to this two nosey kids, John Carridine as a priest, and the first victim's missus being called a witch and being harassed by locals (ala Don't Torture a Duckling) and you've got a rather large cast to deal with. Also, Aldo Sambrell's in the cast too.Apart from Sanchez (who these days would probably be the hero, what with his pro-environmental/revolutionary stance, here he's made out to be a fanatic), everyone gets it together to rid the lake of the creature once and for all, and we get to see the creature in full. Try not to laugh too much! I've got to give to the makers of the film – they aren't shy in showing the creature, no matter how crap it looks.I love films with giant monsters in them, so I was fairly happy with this one. Maybe a wee bit too much interpersonal drama by a too large cast, but the creature itself is worth seeking this one out. That, and the way that woman are portrayed in this one (either sexual objects or witches), I guess there was one strong female character (the mayor's daughter/helicopter pilot), but big Jim gets confused by a female being a pilot. There's also a nice sting in the tale and for some reason, the film is called Monstroid at the start of the film but Monster at the end? There's no way this film was made in 1980 (I see now it was mostly made in 1971).

This film was not a pleasure to watch, it was a dull monster in the lake movie in the same vein as The Crater Lake Monster, except this one made that one seem good! The film is a lot like that one, crossed with the Talia Shire film Prophecy, however that film was actually good. So if you want to see a good pollution causes wildlife to mutate, see that film. Then again, this may have been dinosaur in the lake as they never said that it was a mutation, I am just assuming this because of the fact they tried to pass this crock as a true story. Want to see a good movie featuring a dinosaur like monster in the lake, well don't see this one. Or Crater Lake either, it is better than this, but still not good. Then there is The Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds from Japan, it is better than these two films, but it isn't all that good either! Man, I am beginning to feel there are no good dinosaur lake movies.This movie features a plant in Columbia that is running into problems as the locals fear a monster, a reporter is causing trouble and an terrorist is sabotaging the plant. Well, turns out there is something in the lake, however, don't expect to see it much as the most we get are quick glimpses here and there. Well the people in the plant work together as they try to defeat this thing, meanwhile a woman is burned for being a witch and a dude blows himself up and there is padding a plenty in this film. Just not a lot of monster! John Carradine is also in this film as a priest who is also quite pointless.So basically, another film about a lake monster like Crater and Legend. This one actually garnered an R rating, however, both Crater and Legend both were more graphic than this one. You only really see the monster at the end as they do all they can to pad this film out. There is one death of note involving a blonde lady which was okay, and about the only decent kill in the entire film. Just boring to the extreme for the most part. I did not like Crater Lake either, but it was not quite as bad as this one turned out to be.

"True" story of a late monster that appears when an American industrial plant begins polluting the waters. Amusing, though not really good, monster film has lots of people trying to get the monster and find out whats going on but not in a completely involving way. Give it points for giving us a giant monster that they clearly built to scale for some scenes but take some away in that it looks like a non threatening puppy. An amusing exploitation film thats enjoyably silly in the right frame of mind. (My one complaint is that the print used on the Elvira release is so poor that it looks like a well worn video tape copy that was past its prime 20 years ago.)

Where can we begin... This film starts off in Colombia with a young couple dancing to festive music in the night. As is natural in this situation, their frolicking is interrupted as the man is attacked and killed by a shadowy fish/lizard creature. Que loud scream and..."MONSTER". While the begining is far from unique, the camera work gave me some nostalgic vibes from similar 70's films and I thought that maybe, just maybe there was hope for this diamond in the rough. Alas...I suppose when you buy a 30 year old video tape for a dollar at an antique store, you get what you pay for. After a brief intro telling us how this is all based on a "true" story, we are introduced to a group of business men discussing the state of their mine in Colombia. Apparently talk of lake monsters and witchcraft have disrupted the flow of cash and the board 'ain't' happy about it. SO add in some environmental issues, religious views and an annoying nerdy kid who believes in the lake monster and you've got yourself...well... a mess. "The monster manages to "get in touch" with three or four individuals. These scenes aren't too bad, but they are few and far between the hour of talking. Even a witch burning doesn't do much to speed this film up. First problem. If you're going to have a movie called "monster", please make said monster not laughable. It's early scenes were brief, actually managing to keep the tension up, but believe me, the big reveal is sort of a let down. Imagine the Lock Ness monster mixed with a lizard and a catfish and you'll have some idea. Now once the creature is revealed, certainly our "hero's" will face off with it personally right...RIGHT!!! Nope, the best way is to pump a lamb full of dynamite and go fishing. I do have a slight problem with this. Obviously, if a creature has been surviving for thousands of years without having been discovered, and it is capable of going for a little stroll on land, it must be somewhat intelligent. So why does the creature decide to go out for a bite to eat and reveal itself when it is surrounded and being followed by a helicopter? Perhaps he was a media whore... Of course our hero manages to accidentally drop detonator in the water, causing him to brave a swim. Personally this was just stupidity on his part, and I was rooting for the Monster. Alas this occasionally clever beast decides to play around with a guy in a boat rather than take care of the real threat. SO the beast goes Kaboom. There is much rejoicing...unfortunately they don't realize that Monsters like to lay hundreds of eggs in a clearly visible and poorly protected area which can hatch spontaneously releasing offspring which are actually too large to fit in the supposed eggs they came from. Everybody up to speed? Don't worry about it. Personally I didn't hate this film as much as I have others. In this case the makers were simply over enthusiastic with their budget constraints. The plot could have worked and the film could have been a little scary with more money and better casting. One little factoid I noticed, is that women have progressed considerably since the 70's. In this movie, secretaries are called darlin' and honey, and have their posteriors fondled in ways that would see a modern man carried off for a chat with a grand jury.