Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast (2011)

This must've been the 3rd or 4th time I have seen this movie. I put this on at random to kill a bit of time. I thought 'hey, it's only 1hr 19mins, it's short and sweet'.Yes, it is a short run time and things did zip by pretty quick. But I couldn't help but pick out and notice all the little bits of detail that makes this movie's quality low. As a fan of bad movies, I like discovering errors I didn't pick up from the first few times watching.Here, all I noticed was the audio. The static feedback in some of the actor's dialogue is noticeable. Then there was the sound they used for the shark which sounded like a distorted man's scream. I wasn't sure if they used that for the shark or the victim it caught but it got annoying when they kept reusing it numerous times. AND I KID YOU NOT!! At one point in the movie, they used elephant noises for the shark..... ELEPHANT NOISES!!! Did they not think when seeing the final cut that using that audio was not a good idea to use for shark roars? Unless one idiot thought "elephant noises sound pretty evil, let's use that!"

12 years ago during a scientific expedition 3 animal biologists stumbled upon a great discovery that ended in tragedy. Whatever killed them has awoken and now the legend of the Ancient Snow Beast could prove to be more than just a legend.Well we know from like frame one what killed them cuz we see it.I', surprised at reviews that say this is the worst movie ever. No way. Is it good? We that's relative. Low budget means it's not gonna be great. But it's really sort of funny and watchable.And I don't think it's meant to be taken seriously. Plus, I've seen far worse acting in these kinds of movies.It won't change your life, but it's watchable. And you will get a few laffs throughout.

A prehistoric shark of local legend begins eating the locals in a quiet wintry small town. Mike Evans (essayed with hammy brio by writer/director Sam Qualinana), the sole survivor of a past snow shark attack, leads an angry and armed posse who are determined to slay the beast. Writer/director Qualiana treats the gloriously ludicrous premise in a sidesplitting mock serious manner: The abundant cheesy gore (the CGI blood in particular is quite tacky), a hilariously obvious shark puppet, poky pacing, the monotonous hum'n'shiver synthesizer score, lousy (markedly less than) special effects, cardboard stock characters, a decent smattering of tasty gratuitous distaff nudity, crude cinematography, and the meandering narrative all give this exquisitely abominable baby a certain chintzy hokey charm that's impossible to either resist or dislike. The endearingly awful acting by the lame no-name cast further adds to this picture's considerable kitschy appeal, with stand-out stinky work by Michael O'Hear as the no-nonsense Prof. Jonathan Hoffman, Jackey Hall as the feisty Daphne, C.J. Qualiana as the morose Sheriff Donald Chapman, Kathy Murphy as the tart Wendy, Andrew Elias as nerdy cryptozoologist Lincoln Anderson, Andy Taylor as obnoxious macho redneck hunter Cameron Caine, and Robert Bozak as the jerky Mayor Shawn Overman. A complete crummy hoot.

Wow! Just wow! I've seen scarier sharks inside sock puppets.As far as bad acting skills go this is up there with the worst porn.I once thought that Zombie Nation was the worst film I had ever seen but this makes that look like cinema gold.Me and my friends love a bad movie, they are great for a laugh, but this film is just beyond that, darlin'. Bad, I'm mean really bad, acting, bad direction, bad editing, bad script, bad hairstyles and facial hair that randomly change and no point commenting about the effects. I'm pretty sure this was filmed in someone's backyard.So, if you have trouble sleeping, watch this. You'll fall asleep in no time.Btw, did I mention how BAD the acting was!!!!