Porkchop (2010)

This is a "so bad it is good film" by design. It is made to look like a 1980's throwback with all the bells and whistles.A group of kids go camping in the woods and there is a slasher. Details of the slasher are reviewed during the opening credits and the cliche camp fire tale. Mike (Charles Sullivan) leads the group along with his exchange student friend Ian (Brandon Raker) the token Brit. Mike brings along his girlfriend Deb (Ruby Larocca). Their relationship is on the outs as he also brings along his latest girlfriend Courtney (Sierra Ferrell) who wears a cheerleaders outfit to go camping because it is a spoof of the 80's genre. Also in the group is Richie (Chris Woodall) Deb's nerdy brother who brings along his robot who is far too human and reveals far too much about Richie. There is also Rachel (Erin Russ) a girl Richie is crazy about.The film include things we remember from 80's films. It has product placement, the weird country store scene, and local band soundtrack. The film had a bad sound system as there appears to be a background noise of a generator for all the night time shots. The robot had a Cadillac emblem glued to its chest which was missing in a few scenes, but the glue marks were still there. They go to Camp "Wood" so they can party and have sex.The film had funny and clever dialogue representing the 80's era. I spent much of the film laughing, especially during the country store scene where writer/director Eamon Hardiman plays a country geek in a "Choose Life" T-shirt. Extras: Director's commentary/ Behind the scenes/ Ian speaks.Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity (Kelly Claire, Erin Russ, Mick Wiseman butt with a C-sock.) Blood, killing, mutilation, forced sex with a chainsaw.

Not a bad little movie, especially considering the budget, have seen far worse, that have spent far more. I actually enjoyed the music in this one and found myself humming along a couple of times. Yes it's a silly plot with dodgy special effects, but that's part of the fun. I didn't expect much from this movie and was pleasantly surprised that I liked it.

"Partying, mayhem and gore...80's style." So says the tag-line for "Porkchop", a micro-budget throwback to "kids are killed in the woods" slasher movies from the 80's. Maybe it's because I recently watched "Rabies", which managed to do something new with the backwoods slasher movie, but I found this to be a pretty bad movie all around.The plot goes like this: Deborah (Ruby Larocca), Mike (Charles Sullivan), Chris (Chris Woodall), Ian (Brandon Raker), Courtney (Sierra Ferrell) and Rachael (Erin Russ) go to the woods for sex, drugs and good times. Also, they bring around a goofy talking robot named Elron (voiced by Danny Hicks of "Evil Dead II", "Darkman" and "The Intruder" fame.) Long story short, there's a hulking man wearing a pig-head mask known as Porkchop (Robert Cobb) that has murder on his mind, and you know what goes on from there.While the killer is pretty bad-ass and the kills are gory as hell and usually inventive (with the gore and make-up effects actually looking pretty great), "Porkchop" is pretty bad. In some ways, it kind of reminded me of Drew Rosas' "Blood Junkie" in the fact that it wants so much to be like the slasher movies from the 80's, what with it's 80's fashions, bad hair, bad pop music, etc. However, "Blood Junkie" at least made me laugh. This movie was just annoying, with all of the jokes being deliberately bad. My problem with this is the fact that I hate it when a movie acknowledges that it isn't exactly a good movie, and just goes "f#@k it." Deliberately making bad jokes doesn't excuse anything. In fact, that just makes it worse.In the process, everything else about the movie is just poorly done. Eamon Hardiman directs the whole thing as if it were his first motion picture, and that would be forgiving if it was (it's not.) The entire stretch before the kills start to occur is just a pain to sit through, with actors mugging for the camera and doing next to nothing interesting. Speaking of which, it takes way too long for the kills to start to happen, and by the time they do, you'll hardly be awake. This is a movie that, as I said, wants so much to capture the vibe of 80's slasher movies, but it lacks the most important element: fun. There's hardly anything in this movie that's remotely enjoyable. It just feels like a group of people goofing off with their home video equipment in the woods, and not like the tongue-in-cheek slasher fun-fest it wants to be.If you want to see a fun, 80's style slasher movie-then go watch an actual 80's slasher movie like "The Prowler." It'd be a much better choice than watching a bunch of people play pretend for 92 minutes.

This film truly sucks, don't listen to the long review. he must work for them or something. I was bored enough to sit through the entire monstrous mess and if there was any way of me getting this time back I would take it. I can't begin to explain how many levels this film fails on. To list them all would take someone even more bored than I am now - and believe me - for me to be bothered to write this - if you knew me - you would know that this is really really bad.All I can do is write this review in the hope it may save some of you people making the same mistake as I did. If this is meant to be some sort of 'parody' it fails because at the end of the day its not entertaining and the actors 'pretend' wooden-ness just comes across as plain old wooden-ness.You have been warned. Watch at your peril!!