Totem (1999)

I must agree with everyone else. I too was at a local Blockbuster inAllston/Brighton (for those of you from the Boston area; it's the onethat's now falling apart on Western Ave not the nice one in ClevelandCircle) and I came across one of the many straight-to-video movies theyhad. This one caught my eye because of the intruiging title. Totem. Mustbe about Native Americans getting back what's theirs! Plus the cutechick on the cover is a nice touch. I watched it and it almost made mepuke. How very, very sad that this was made! "Those poor actors willnever make a decent movie ever in their young careers," I thought. Howdid those teens even get to that cabin? The last girl that got theresaid she was in class about to take a test or something. Why didn'tanyone stop her as she left class... or ran down the street... andacross the highway??? You'd think somebody would have grabbed them andsaid, "I'm not letting you go until you tell me why you are running tosome cabin in the woods in your underwear, Mister!" Why THESE teens?ALAS, that will never get answered. Go see a nice non-straight-to-

Group of people finds themselves unexplicitly drawn to a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. Once they get there, they discover that they can't leave the cabin as it is now surrounded by an invisible force field and a weird totem seems to be killing them off. Cheap, slow paced (even at 80 mins.) flick from Full Moon Productions is one of their worst efforts to date. Bad effects, wide eyed acting, not to mention an awful premise sink it.Rated R; Violence & Profanity.

[CONTAINS A SPOILER BELOW]This was one of the most pathetic movies I've ever seen in my life. I seriously want my 80+ minutes back from my life!!!The plot makes no sense, and the actors--where did they dredge up those talentless teens, the local 7-11?! But perhaps the worst part is [***SPOILER WARNING***]when one of the characters has a pointless dream midway through the movie about some vikings attacking a fakey-looking medieval castle, while some bored-sounding guy is narrating. WHY?!?! It made absolutely NO SENSE compared to the rest of this movie. It was as though someone came along and just stuck in this part for no reason, just to mess with viewers' heads.Avoid this movie at all costs, unless you like seeing soap actors in movies (one of the girls was in "Bold and the Beautiful").

This 64 minute nigthmare movie is just plain boring, dumb and utterly horrible. David Decoteau (under and alias: for good reason), "directs" this mess of a movie. Poor Acting, bad directing, terrible editing, pathetic looking puppets: COME ON, WE CAN SEE THE STRINGS!!! Stay far away from this garbage. This movie will possibly make you dumber for watching it.