Unholy (2007)

Unholy does have a halfway decent double-twist ending. One is pretty much a standard time travel cliché and the other is both a rip off of Total Recall and doesn't actually make any sense, but combined they're not all bad. To get to that barely passable conclusion, however, you've got to sit through 85+ minutes of very slow and rather stupid storytelling. It starts with a premise that far outstrips this film's less than meager budget, continues by never establishing even the slightest bit of normality, inserts a couple of moments that look like unintentional parody and winds down with disappointment over not seeing Adrienne Barbeau's well-aged rack.Martha (Adrienne Barbeau) is a woman far past middle aged whose seemingly disturbed daughter kills herself in their cellar. Martha thinks her girl's last rants about an experiment meant something, so with the rather useless aid of her loser son Lucas (Nicholas Brendon), she sets out to investigate. Through some incredible convenient coincidences, Martha finds indications of a government conspiracy involving a Nazi necromancer and the so-called "unholy trinity" of mad scientist experiments - time travel, invisibility and mind control. It's all just a chore to sit through until that double-twist ending brings blessed relief.The primary problem with Unholy isn't that it had such a small budget the cast probably got paid in Spam, nor that it's written on such a shallow level that an important plot point is a cellar door that's built like a venetian blind. No, what's fundamentally wrong with this thing is that it...is…damn…slow. It has absolutely no sense of pace, with scenes that crawl along like a snail and sputter off into oblivion. And since this isn't all that wordy of a script, that means Unholy is dragged down by silent nothingness. By the time anything happens in this movie, you've already been beaten down into apathy and can't care. Not that anything which happens in Unholy is worth caring about in the first place. A lesson for all low budget, inexperienced or plain ol' crappy filmmakers is that speed is your friend and sloth is your enemy. The longer anything takes on screen, from a plot thread to a scene to lines of dialog, the more people pay attention to it and the better it must be. The quicker something goes by, the less the audience will notice or be bothered by how much it sucks.The second big flaw here is common to far too many horror flicks. Unholy starts out weird and never creates a sense of the ordinary for the viewer to grab onto. It is the contrast between the normal and abnormal that give these kind of films their emotional resonance. Without that contrast, horror movies are just noise that might be loud enough to bother some people, but that's all. I know that setting the stage of people living ordinary lives in an ordinary world before taking a sharp turn into the terrifying can feel awfully cliché when you're writing a script, but you do it that way because it works. Trying to get around that step in the process, again requires you to be really good. If you're an inexperienced or unsuccessful filmmaker with virtually no money to spend, don't let your ego get in the way.Adrienne Barbeau and Nichola Brendon are professional actors and look like it in Unholy. The rest of the cast are the sort who hope to be professional actors someday but will end up as professional waiters.Unholy isn't utterly without merit. There's just too much garbage to wade through and nothing all that good on the other side.

I'm not sure this is a spoiler; perhaps it is a public service. If you are one of those people focused on instant gratification who skip end credits, you will miss the final line of the end credits news announcer's voice-over, which states the U.S. has just surrendered to Nazi Germany on May 7, 1945 to end WWII. Here are just a few of the problems with this close: 1)The older viewer must conjure up the equivalent of two or three more UNHOLY movies in their mind's eye to fill in the yawning chasm between movie events and this startling conclusion.2)The average person will really kick themselves that they did not "watch" one of these UNHOLY fill-in-the-blanks flicks created in their own head for free, instead of shelling out time and money to see this UNHOLY from the video store (or on cable).3)This end credits sequence of imagined news bulletins may be the first information some younger viewers are exposed to about WWII, leading them to the conclusion that George W. Bush is the latest heir to the Nazi throne.

I've read some terrible things about this film, so I was prepared for the worst. "Confusing. Muddled. Horribly structured." While there may be merit to some of these accusations, this film was nowhere near as horrific as your average DVD programmer. In fact, it actually had aspirations. It attempted something beyond the typical monster/slasher nonsense. And by god, there are some interesting things going on.Ms. Barbeau is a miracle to behold. She carries the film squarely on her shoulders.This is not to say that it's a masterpiece. UNHOLY ultimately collapses under the weight of its own ambition. There are just too many (unexplained) subplots trying to coexist. And the plot loopholes created by time travel are never really addressed: for example, if Hope knows that her mother is evil and that she will ultimately kill her brother, then why doesn't she just kill Ma in the film's very first sequence? Seems like it would have beat the hell out of traveling into the future to do it.Still, I give UNHOLY points for trying. A little ambition is not a bad thing.

I am surprised at IMDb's low rating of this movie. With all due respect, its low rating is representative of the IQ level of those who rated it so poor. They would rather see a movie with cheap thrills, a bigger budget, and more gore.The first misconception by people is that this is a horror film. It is not, nor does the film mislead you into believing it is one. It is a psychological thriller. It is for people who actually want an intellectual experience when watching a movie. Reel.com's review is the perfect example of how I feel about this movie. All the other negative reviews doesn't make much sense. It's almost as if trying to make an original movie for a change- very rare these days- is something bad and not worth it.I will reveal some spoilers for the morons who said it was boring and didn't make sense. Martha was brainwashing herself and performing experiments on herself to be a caring mother while she really was an evil Nazi who would kill without warning. The evidence is all in the pudding and the fact that at first viewing, we sympathize with this cold-blooded monster for the duration of the movie is a testament to the film's direction and writing.I definitely feel that this movie should at least be rated in the 6's range on originality alone. I recommend this movie for the people on the other end of the IQ scale- aka smart people- since this movie is obviously being butchered by those who would rather watch Scream or Freddy's Nightmare.Kudos to the acting as well. For such a low budget film, you are amazed that this movie didn't hit your local cinema with the great direction, writing, and acting. Please don't be fooled by the rating by IMDb. This movie is worth it. I actually recommend buying the film since a first viewing on a rent will not do this justice.