Haunted (1977)

Gloriously goofy low budget shocker from writer / co-producer / director Michael De Gaetano; it's so laughable so often that one has to believe he basically had his tongue in his cheek the entire time. They also know that when the opening text / exposition makes them laugh, that can be a direct indicator of what's to come. 100 years ago, a proud young Indian woman is framed for theft and sentenced to ride her horse - topless - throughout the desert until she dies. Well, that's somewhat novel, at the least. Then a century later, a lost British lass comes upon an Arizona community where a dysfunctional family resides in a run down old movie studio - a lass who just might be the reincarnation of that long ago Indian woman. Another thing that sets this little movie up quite well right away is the uproarious, overwrought disco theme song "Indian Woman" sung by Billy Vera of "At This Moment" fame. This itself is indicative of the melodrama to come as thuggish Andrew (Aldo Ray) and blind Michelle (Virginia Mayo) reminisce. The two veterans are a total hoot what with their histrionics; Ray completely turns on the intensity and nuttiness as Andrew becomes more and more unhinged - and homicidal - as the story progresses. Meanwhile, Michelle's son Patrick (likable enough Jim Negele) becomes fond of the stranger in town, played by lovely Ann Michelle ("House of Whipcord"). She actually comes off the best, even if her character(s) are very thinly written; she's quite easy to watch (and shows off her breasts for the appreciation of all those watching); Brad Rearden ("Hi- Riders", "The Silent Scream") is stuck with an annoying role as the bratty younger brother Russell. On location filming in Arizona *is* one appreciable asset, as well as a decent music score by Lor Crane, and a pretty enjoyable final act that culminates in an intense full body burn. "Haunted" does work fairly well as an amusing bit of wild 'n' wacky nonsense; De Gaetano does have a good feel for the bizarre, starting with the perfectly silly idea of having a phone booth installed in a cemetery in order to set up one of his most surreal touches. If all of this sounds right up your alley, then by all means dive right in. The movie is absurd but not without some charms. Six out of 10.

Innocent young nubile Indian maiden Abanaki (gorgeously embodied by buxom brunette looker Anne Michelle) gets falsely accused of witchcraft and is sent out to the dessert to die in the unsparingly harsh Arizona heat. She vows to exact revenge on the relatives and descendants of those responsible for her death in a hundred years. When enticing British gal Jennifer Baines (also played by Michelle) rolls into town, irascible caretaker Andrew (ferociously essayed with growly conviction and hyper-aggressive intensity by the ever-manic Aldo Ray) naturally suspects the lass of being a lethal reincarnation of Abanaki. Writer/director Michael A. DeGaetnano relates the spooky story at a steady pace, makes effectively bleak use of the drab and arid ghost town location, creates and sustains a nicely eerie mood, and delivers a sizable smattering of tasty female nudity (ladies will be happy to know that Aldo removes his shirt and shows off his hot'n'hairy chunky physique in a disgustingly sweaty sex scene). Ray's frenzied eyeball-rolling histrionics provide the key source of energy and entertainment throughout. Moreover, there's solid work from Virginia Mayo as batty old blind lady Michelle, Jim Negele as the likable Patrick, and Brad Reardon as the nerdy Russell. In addition, there's an extremely brutal and intense full body burn gag at the very end that's sure to make you gasp. William E. Hines' stark cinematography gives the picture an appropriately gloomy look. Lor Crane's shivery score does the shuddery ooga-booga trick. The funky theme song "Indian Woman" sung by Billy Vera hits the right-on groovy spot, too. An entertaining little drive-in fright flick.

This film wastes absolutely no time in showing titty, as a young Native American girl convicted of gold thievery is stripped and tied to a horse, sent forth into the desert to die alone. Said nubile was innocent, and vows her revenge.100 years have passed, and the old mining town is now a decrepit and unutilized movie ranch. Aldo Ray and (blind)Virginia Mayo are among the few living there. Some guys install a telephone booth in the cemetery, and a girl en route has car trouble and must stay there. Sound interesting so far? It's not. Nor does it ever become so...HAUNTED is barely even worth calling a horror film, as its supernatural elements are hardly tapped, and the overall chill-factor barely registers. There's a lot of bad music, especially the ultra-cheesy theme song, but apparently somebody thought the public would appreciate a soundtrack LP(!)Nothing of a movie wastes an able cast, and offers too little to recommend it. Spare yourself.3/10

OK, the movie. Way back in the olden days some cowboys and a priest decided that an Indian woman needed to die. The reason is completely unmemorable. They put her on a horse, take her shirt off and send her packing to die in the desert of Arizona. Before they set her off, she says something to the extent of her haunting this land. Off she goes. Enter present day. A family living in a ghost town witness a telephone booth going up in the middle of a grave yard. The mother of the two boys is blind after an accident involving a naked horse woman. The accident killed her husband. She believes that they are being haunted.This movie gets cheese points because of the laughable scripting, acting, dialog, and the original songs that appear in the movie. There was even a soundtrack released to accompany the movie. In a terrible amusing scene, we see the Uncle chasing the woman into the phone booth with a sharp stick he wittled with a knife (where the hell is the knife?). The only blood in this movie is where Uncle Collage Grad stabs him self with his wittled stick. I'd also like to know who let them use the set from Wild Wild West.