The Slugger's Wife (1985)

You need : At least 1 witty friend (many would be preferable- better able to "enjoy" this sparkling gem), Lots of the alcohol of your choice, non damaging missiles (popcorn, nerf balls,cats)and a DVD of "The Lonely Lady" (with Pia Zadora!) to have a really good time. This movie is so bad, the effort to find something to laugh about is exhausting. Don't get me wrong, the dialogue is lame enough "You'll hit a home run for a pretty girl but not for me." grumps the ball coach, the Music is Bad, (DeMourney cannot sing but at least they had enough integrity to HAVE her sing?)and the acting is Sad (by the end I was Rooting for the breakup)It should have been fun. A Real Mockfest but the level to which you have to go to Believe this plot, is outrageous and insulting and that kills the mood. Maybe I should have made jello shooters.... If you want a good Dose of Pathetic Apathy from Everyone involved(Neil Simon after his breakup with Marsha Mason and DEEEEP into self reflection and a good director who must have been blackmailed into doing this), or need a test to find out How Witty your friend is, this is your gig. If only anyone in this movie had Tried, really Tried to do something with this mess...It had so much potential to be EPIC BAD, instead? Meh.

I must confess that I had an ulterior motive in watching this movie-to see Rebecca De Mornay.I can't believe that this is the Same Ray Stark, who produced the "The World of Suzie Wong." Both the lead actors need some serious drama coaching. There are two scenes-Darrel hitting the ball and Debbie singing at the night club-that are shown over and over like a twister scene on News at Eleven. It is obvious that Rebecca De Mornay matured as an actress as she got older-much older. Here she has all the emotions of a wet-noodle. It is quite obvious that Michael O'Keefe-can't play ball and act at the same time. The movie drags to the point of exhaustion. The confrontation between Darrel and Debbie's manager--what was that all about? all of a sudden this guy is her lover because he gets a recording contract? Did he have an eloping contract too? Then there is this scene of "Debbie" visiting him at Darrel's hospital bed. What kind of weed was Darrell smoking? This must be the worst scene ever filmed on a Hollywood set. This is a kind of movie that should straight not to DVD but extinction-disappear from IMDb and the Movie Lexicon.

I wasn't part of the production company but hired from the outside for a few scenes. Afterward, I waited for the movie to hit the theaters. When it came out at a local theater on a Tuesday, I decided to wait until the weekend to see it. It didn't last that long. By the weekend, it was gone. Videotapes were still relatively new at that time, and tape rentals were even newer. I had to wait until the early 1990's for it to be released on VHS to see it. And THEN I understood why it never made it to the weekend at the theater, or why it took so long to be released on tape. For what it's worth, MY scenes and even my name never made the final cut. So the ONLY reason I'd even want a copy is that it was my sole (and failed) entry into the movie business.

This film advertises itself as a Baseball movie with a Love Story. The film fails at both attempts.The Love story is boring and pointless as the characters simply go through the cliche'd story of falling in love, and then drifting apart.But the real disaster here is the failure as a Baseball story. Somehow, we are supposed to believe that Michael O'Keefe is a credible Baseball Slugger? O'Keefe will forever be known as Danny Noonan from Caddychack. Unfortunately, this role did little to take that typecast off of him.He's less than 200 pounds, with barely any muscle tone on his body, and he supposed to have been inspired by his love for Rebecca De Mornay to hit 62 Home Runs in a Season. The story starts off with the fact that he's a light-weight singles hitter. If you look at the four men in history who have hit over 60 home runs in a season, (Ruth, Maris, McGwire & Sosa) you will see that these men are rather large and muscular. O'keefe is neither.However, the story gets even more ridiculous as O'Keefe nears the record. On the night before the final game, he is sitting on 61 Home runs, which has tied the record. So, what does he do? He goes out to the local dance club (where he first met De Mornay) with his buddies. On his way to the dance floor, one reporter from Sports Illustrated approaches him and asks him a few questions, than wishes him luck.ONE REPORTER!?!?! He's on the verge of breaking the single season home run record, and he's out in a disco, and there's only one reporter asking him questions??? Even non-baseball fans can appreciate the amount of media coverage and fan reaction when guys like Maris, McGwire and Sosa neared the 60 mark. Those men were constantly hounded by fans and the media every night.If you want a decent movie about baseball, that also details the accurate lifestyle of a player about to break the single season, see Billy Crystal's "61*".