Reptilicus (1963)

At the world expo in Shanghai Denmark chose the little mermaid to be the representative of Denmark and Danish culture. This was a mistake! A mistake only comparable to the Danish military effort during the battles in 1864. Reptilicus is not only the best danish movie ever made, but also the greatest thing ever to be made in Denmark. The reasons why it was no exhibited at the expo remains unknown for surely even a simpleton would be able to see the greatness of this movie. To label this as a movie is inaugurate for this is not only art, this is the product of the human race, all lives lived led to this movie. Reptilicus represents more than just perfection, it represents hope, that in our otherwise meaningless and painful existence there is meaning. Reptilicus is the lighthouse that with a beacon of hope shines in the fog of existence. You can simple not make movie without inspiration from Reptilicus whether it is a conscious decision or not.

Rating: 38%. Schlock Autour Sydney Pink in 1961 created this *sarcastically* wonderful little creation called Reptilicus. There is a certain joy I get from watching "monster taking over the city" flicks like the premise to the movie GOJIRA (Japanese and/or American version), but if you take the words "schlock", "entertaining" and "masterpiece" and look them up in that order in a dictionary, it will show you the theatrical poster to this gut busting laughter spewing film. Let me get down to business, were going to be serious when I say that every TECHNICAL aspect about this movie is atrociously wrong. Believe it or not, there are a few pros, but let's start with the cons.1: Location: Denmark (specifically Copenhagen). Very nice location, but at the same time, it is a very weird, awkward, and unorthodox location for a monster destruction movie. You have New York City (excellent), Tokyo (optimal location), Chicago (acceptable), Copenhagen Denmark (OMG no).2: Language: Poorly dubbed Phonetic English instead of Danish. (The Danish language is more like German, although German and English languages have more similarities than other languages, I can still tell as I watch this funny cheese fest of a movie that the words spoken and the mouth movements are far off enough to notice). What I prefer is to have subtitles that are ACTUALLY CORRECT and then have them speak their native language.3: The Monster: The top half of the (so called quote on quote) "monster" is simply just a rubberized snake that they stitched cosmetics onto it to make it look frightening although it just comes off laughable. The bottom half of this hideous creature has legs that do not match the size of this beast, and almost forgot to mention that this beast also has wings that are more useless than "tits on a bull". This monster is obviously a puppet because there are strings that move the monster in the direction that the puppeteer wants it to go. You can tell it is string if you watch it on a 50" flat screen TV with a Blue Ray player that provides the best available resolution known to mankind.4: The Characters: The only reputable actor in this block of Danish cheese is Dirch Passer. Not a big name in the United States, but he was considered to be the greatest (and only successful) Danish comedian of all time. He plays this bumbling lovable goofus called Mr. Peterson who although was given so much responsibility to run the facility, we did not see him do anything (at least productive) other than pull fire alarms, play with the electric eel, and as the MST3K guys explain "it's only 7:00 and already he ate the contents of three petri dishes". As the MST3K return hosts explain and I'll paraphrase "even Denmark has an Andy Griffith". The real unintentional laughter comes with overacting General Mark Grayson (aka Brigadier Military Industrial Complex) played by Carl Ottoson. In my opinion, he is by far the most captivatingly awful and yet somehow most interesting character in the movie. This general only has one expression on his face to try not bursting out laughing, but I will set the tone to this man's idiocity and awfulness. Between saying lines like "the shorter the stay the happier I will be" or "when will I ever get out of this hell", "no Connie you take her to the hospital, I got work to do", and "were going to have to use the heavy stuff" (stuff instead of artillery) and so much more, it proves to the audience that General Mark Grayson is clearly an unlikable hero, a horrible underdeveloped character, and/or the actor that plays him cannot act his way out of a Ziploc bag. Then comes the doctor who audiences may think is the brains of the operation, who made the really big mistake of not telling General Grayson how to kill this creature, he basically says something to the effect of don't use explosives learn another tactic without have the knowledge on how to extinguish Reptilicus, he also suffers through three heart attacks in the end of the 2nd, beginning of the 3rd act. I think I have said enough of the characters worth talking about.5: The Plot: Actually it is a very simple thin plot, young man named Svend dresses up as a minor by just wearing a hard hat and work clothes, digs up some skin from the ground and brings this skin to the research facility of Copenhagen. Monster regenerates itself and destroys the country of Denmark. Besides the words "regenerates" and "Denmark", it is basically your cliched monster destruction story.The one and only pro I have to say about this film is both the intentional and unintentional humor. The intentional humor comes from Dirch Passer who was a comedian in this film as the main primary comic relief. On a side note though, everybody in this movie was considered to be comic relief. I did laugh though the scene where the Doctor had to tell one his daughters "when must I tell you how to pick up a man". In addition, the editing from scene to scene is just remarkable. When the doctor says "if Reptilicus gets any bigger, we will need to get a bigger tank and then it shows the Baltic Sea, with one of the MST3K guys saying "woah that's too big" and at last the epic scene where the soldiers are in the house shooting but the window is shut. That is truly comedic gold.Anyway I would recommend the MST3K version of this film, or the actual movie, but when watching the actual movie, it is recommended to watch it with a close group of friends with pizza and lots and lots of beer. Bad movie night experience is required and mandated. TRULY THE BEST OF THE WORST AND, IN ADDITION TRULY A MOVIE THAT SHOULD BE SHOWN IN FILM CLASSES FOR COLLEGES ON HOW NOT TO MAKE A MOVIE.

After copper miners discover part of the frozen tail of a prehistoric monster in Lapland, scientists inadvertently bring it back to life.The American version, which is in English with a nearly identical cast to the simultaneously-made Danish version, was directed by the film's American producer-director Sidney Pink; this version was initially deemed virtually unreleasable by American International Pictures and had to be extensively reworked by the film's Danish-American screenwriter, Ib Melchior, before being finally released in America in 1962. Pink was angry at the changes and wound up in a legal dispute with AIP. After Pink and others viewed the English-language version, the lawsuit was dropped.I suspect he American version is the one currently available on Blu-ray from Scream Factory and now lampooned by "Mystery Science Theater" in their 2017 reboot. The film is, well, rather disposable. It's good fun, but not a good film, and pales in comparison to the film they paired it with, "Tentacles". Which is saying something, because "Tentacles" is not a great film either. I liked the creature and was amused by the cartoon green breath, but... it was pretty bad, even by AIP standards.Seeing the Danish version might be interesting. I am not sure if it would be any better, but maybe we could at least see what they were trying to do before AIP stepped in. I suspect this film is also slightly better if you appreciate the comedy of Dirch Passer (1926–1980), who was apparently a big deal in Denmark but completely unknown in America.

Being a Dane and being born in the 1970s, then I would eventually get acquainted with "Reptilicus", especially since it is a cult movie here in Denmark. But I will try to keep a neutral viewpoint on my review here.Taking into consideration that the movie is from 1961, then of course the effects were bound to be limited and also to be nothing compared to the effects of modern day movies. With that in mind, then lets just put it out in the clear; the movie had horrible effects. No doubt about it.The creature, Reptilicus, might have worked in thought and concept idea, but brought to the big screen in 1961 it was an eyesore to look at. It was so obviously fake that it fooled no one. And it is fun to witness how there are no scenes with actual people interacting with Reptilicus. Sure there were some scenes where Reptilicus was in the backdrop of scenes with people, but even then it looked painfully fake. And in my lifelong track record of watching movies, then I have never seen anything as fake and laughable than the scene where Reptilicus eats a farmer that decides to bolt and leave his wife and children to fend for themselves in a crumbling farmhouse. It was awful to witness, and I keep laughing every time I watch the movie.Should you decide to sit down and watch "Reptilicus", then make sure that you don't get a fully dubbed English language version, because it it just insulting to the movie. "Reptilicus" should be watched in its original Danish language (albeit there still is some English in the original Danish version as well). And to further add insult to injury then the English dubbed version is left with the spontaneous song by actor Dirch Passer cut out. I was outraged by that editing, because that song is great. Yeah, I have watched the original Danish language version and the English dubbed version of course.Aside from a very questionable reptilian creature which moves about by pulled strings and spewing some equally fake green slime, then the scenes with Reptilicus was also sporting very fake buildings, toy cars and train model trees."Reptilicus" is one of those types of movies that are so bad that they are fun to watch, and that is the reason why I have watched the movie three times by now. It is fun to return to watch it every now and then with years in between, because it never stops to amuse me.This movie might certainly have put Denmark on the monster creature features map of the world, but sadly it is not because the movie was a great movie. But hey, even crappy movies can make a lasting impression.And even though I am rating "Reptilicus" a mere four out of ten stars, then it is still a movie that is entertaining and one that it well-worth to be able to say "yes, I have seen that one!".