Conjurer (2008)

**Intro**I was surprised when I looked at the Rating was 4.7 and the Reviews were 8's and above. So i figured I should check this out. I read that it was an Indie film but still held up fairly well. I just saw "The Conjuring" (Excellent) that's how I ran across this. So I was thinking that it might be something like that. ha ha..=) Not Even Close.**The Review With No Spoilers** I'm honestly not sure what movie the other reviewers saw that made them rank this movie so high.. because this movie is so utterly Boring!! it was more of a Drama than anything. The story moves so slow! The witch stuff barely peeks your interest because there is little suspense if any. I paused the movie at an hour and 10 minutes to realize Nothing has happened yet.. (im not even kidding) There is a small scene at the end that you have been waiting for the whole movie but its over before you know it and it really wasn't even that good. They even try throwing a twist to make the movie seem better than it really was but then they throw in a 2nd twist and end the movie. the end is so stupid and very anti climatic.. Don't waste your time. read my review with the spoilers and you'll know exactly how dumb the movie is. ***The Spoilers*** Worth Reading if you don't want to see this horrible movie.Sean and his wife Helen have a miscarriage that puts them in a bad financial position. Her brother helps them out and has a Temporary home for them to stay in. - there are more details but not there not important.. They buy the house from a man who needs to help his mom with medical bills.. so by this point it's safe to assume the house Haunted?? No sadly the small Cabin on there property is Haunted.. a witch died and cursed the property.. yes very exciting stuff. he has a cut on his thumb that doesn't heal. there is a single crow that hangs out around there house and eats there garbage.. the crow did manage to give the wife a ring that she puts on as soon as he drops it. but don't worry that part wont develop into anything either.. there are some scenes with the neighbor that they didn't tie up at the end. the dog dies by the crow.. the dogs not brought up after he kills the crow. its left at "have you seen the dog?".. "no".. so here is where the Twist comes in. they try to tie the whole thing by saying Sean is Crazy and made up all the events with the Witch. and he goes away to the crazy house. he calls her and is leaving a message. the movie ends by her listening to the message and she looks at the camera very evil... so she must be the witch.. Like WHAT? so i guess now he is not crazy and that whole part is a waste of time.***The Summary*** by the end of the movie. his thumb is healed, the Dogs death is never brought up, The ring the crow gives Helen is never talked about. he finds a jar in the beginning with teeth in it.. never really goes anywhere. They never talk to the neighbor to confirm his story or if he is even real. the man they bought the house from sold the house to pay for his moms medical bills but in the end of the movie shes been dead the whole time.. they throw a twist in the movie to say he is crazy but end they the movie on the witch note so he is not crazy..ha ha. this movie is just plain BAD and VERY boring and doesn't make much sense when you tie the story together. Do yourself the favor and just don't watch it.Take Care Folks. The Heartless Critic

Halfway through I pulled the DVD out of the machine, stamped on it, ground it under my heel then lit it on fire. then it proceeded to get up and try to escape into a crack in the wall. I hit it hard with a hammer a couple of times then sprayed it with a can of raid. I'll be damned if the thing didn't make it into the wall anyway. Now I'm going to have to move out of my apartment, because I'm sure its in the wall laying eggs, and my apartment will soon be overrun with copies of this DVD. I'm wondering if I should warn my neighbors, or just soak the place with petrol when I leave and toss in a road flare. I'm afraid if I warn someone they might not abandon all their possessions and a copy or two might survive, eventually ruining all existence for everyone on the planet. Might be best to call in an air strike or nuke it from orbit just to be sure.

Professional photographic artist Shawn and his wife Helen relocate to a farmhouse in the country outside New York City after a failed pregnancy. A cabin a few feet away very well could be haunted by the spirit of a witch who curses those attempting to get pregnant out of revenge for her own child's murder at the hands of her husband. Shawn is tormented by her presence and a black crow which is always around to bother him. Shawn's thumb was stuck by a tooth in the cabin, an infection has set in, and is getting worse. Soon he begins investigating the history of the cabin and the witch. Is he actually experiencing these events or are they a figment of his imagination? The film establishes the possibility that he's a victim of inherited paranoid schizophrenia..his father murdered his mother then committed suicide, so the possibility is there that he himself suffers such a mental illness. This could pose a threat to his wife, who has become pregnant again.I thought the work of Andrew Bowen and Maxene Bahns as the Burnetts was quite solid, with developed characters you care about, and I appreciated the attempt to slowly build a spooky atmospheric story about the possible witch's ghost who lives in a creepy cabin, but for some reason, the film never quite satisfied me. Maybe it was because it was so obvious. It was rather predictable as well, even the twist at the end, it's so calculated in such a way, that you see the results before they happen. Or, at least I did, and I'm as dense as they come. The psychological angle is blatantly established to set up the lingering possibility of his suffering a mental disorder, but you always wonder if what he is experiencing is true. John Schneider has a supporting role as Helen's big brother, Frank Higgins, a construction supervisor always at odds with Shawn over the idea of leaving the country home out of worry that the witch will take their baby. Frank plans on using land given to Helen to build houses on, providing them with the temporary residence until he finished their new home. What started out as a refreshing change for the couple slowly deteriorates as Shawn becomes overwhelmed with the legend surrounding the cabin..that, and his neighbor, Fulton Moss(Brett Rice)fuels his paranoia with information regarding the witch and how she has effected his pregnant cow. I think those accustomed with films such as this already know that it will not end well for Shawn either way..if he's imagining everything, he's a nutcase, but if he's right, his wife's in danger. The result won't surprise those who have seen their share of these kinds of movies. The film is seen through the point-of-view of Shawn, so we are part of his torment, and growing paranoia. We see the occurrences in the cabin, and the witch that pops up from time to time, so the viewer is experiencing what he does. We can sympathize because everyone considers him a nuisance with suspicious behavioral problems. But, the film choreographs it in such a way that as the story plays out, you aren't shocked or surprised..and that's the rub, they obviously want to shock you with how the story unfolds, yet the result doesn't. A nice try, nonetheless..call it average of it's type, one that won't remain with you very long after watching it.

This is actually a pretty good little indie flick. Yeah there's nothing revelatory or terribly unique about the story framework but they didn't go down the gore road and attempted something of a throwback with creepiness instead of blood, something I can appreciate. I was actually pretty surprised. If you need something scary to happen right away then forget it...better watch something else. This is a gradual, slow burn kind of pacing that I didn't mind. I also didn't really know where the story was going and the ending caught me off guard with a psychological twist that was different. And different is good any day over same old shock or gore or Asian retread.