Gunmen from Laredo (1959)

Well I've seen my share of bad Westerns like "Cry Blood, Apache" and "Dan Candy's Law", novelty Westerns like "Two Gun Man From Harlem" (all black cast) and "Terror of Tiny Town" (all midget cast), but this one is probably the most surreal and dumb one I've yet to come across. You know the film makers were pushing it when the only player in this movie that I recognized was character actor Don C. Harvey, and he didn't even show up till the second half.For starters, the first fifteen minutes of the picture managed an attack on a married couple heading to Laredo, the husband seeking revenge by shooting a brother of the murderer, his getting arrested for shooting the man in cold blood, and being found guilty by a jury the very next day! Talk about a whirlwind set-up, there was more than enough in the opening segment to fill out an entire picture if the writing were credible enough.But it gets better. Once he's incarcerated at the Unionville, New Mexico territorial prison, Gil Reardon (Robert Knapp) has another inmate file off his leg irons (very cleanly I might add), and then escapes with a couple other jailbirds. As the first two prisoners are shot off the ladder by a prison guard, Reardon makes his escape as the hapless guard tries to reload. On the run, he happens to come across an Apache Mescalero girl tied to a tree, who was kidnapped by a Chiricahua Indian named Delgados (X Brands). The Indian attacks Gil, they tussle, and in one of the phoniest finishes ever, the Chiricahua stabs himself when flipped against a rock by his opponent. By this time, Reardon and Rosita (Jana Davi) have worked up an appetite, and I'm not kidding when I say this, but she looks down and picks up a dead rabbit to cook up for dinner. That might not have been so bad, but it looked like rigormortis had already set in! So by now I'm rolling on the floor. Continuing on, Rosita's horse favors a bum leg, so Reardon has the Indian girl ride his horse, stating that he'll walk her horse to give him a rest. It's not less than ten seconds in movie time and he's back on the horse again! They better hurry though, because a major chisera is closing in, a devil wind that turns out to be a major sand storm. However if you examine the terrain on which they were traveling, it was grassy mountainous countryside, not a sand dune in sight. Not to worry though, in all this wilderness, Rosita knows exactly where to find a cave to seek shelter from the storm. Bob Dylan would have been proud.Eventually the posse trailing Reardon catches up with him and sends Rosita packing so they can bring him back to jail. In the meantime, the father of the Indian Reardon killed, Coloradas (Charles Horvath), has caught up to the runaways (you see, Rosita worked her way back), and Gil insults him to a death match challenge. This one's a beaut, with both men brandishing a tomahawk, Reardon flings his into the forehead of Coloradas for a TKO! I wish I were making this up, but who could write something like this?Well finally, with ten minutes left to go in the picture, Marshal Matt Crawford (Paul Birch) tells his prisoner he's got exactly ten minutes to get his revenge on villain Ben Keefer (Walter Coy) back in Laredo. Keefer and brother Jordan (Jered Barclay) enter the street to face Reardon, looking petrified by the way, while third brother Walt (Ron Hayes) posts lookout on a roof top to ambush Gil. In a remarkable scenario, three on one now, Reardon picks off Walt from the roof, shoots Jordan when he draws, and Ben, who dropped his own gun earlier, now tries to go for his dead brother's pistol! What do you think happened next?That's right, the Marshal let Gil and Rosita go!

As someone who grew up watching B westerns during the 1950's from that point of view not a terribly bad movie. Some of the fight scenes could use a little more realism, but Robert Knapp gave a decent performance. However, there isn't much surprise with the plot as this is standard for most B westerns. The return of the hero for revenge. Good supporting cast. My biggest complaint would be the sets, they really looked cheap and the sound editing could be better. For a 1950's western it wasn't the worst I've ever seen. Mention was made about the actress who portrayed Rosita...very pretty and it was explained that she was Mexican not Indian.

A man comes back from prison to take revenge on the men who framed him. Along the way he picks up the phoniest-looking Indian "maiden" in recent memory (Lucille Ball dressed herself up as Pocahontas in an episode of "I Love Lucy" and looked more authentic than this girl does) which gets him mixed up in Indian troubles. A bunch of other stuff happens, none of it interesting and all of it badly done. The acting is amateurish, even though there are several solid character actors (Paul Birch, Don Harvey, Charles Horvath) present--a result of the almost non-existent direction of producer Wallace MacDonald. The "script" is an unstructured, meandering mess; it looks like MacDonald only shot every couple of pages of it instead of the whole thing, or maybe that's just the way it was written. The "action" scenes are laughable; grade-school kids playing Cowboys & Indians could have staged them better. I'm sure that not many of the few people who saw this thing knows how it ends; it's so maddeningly poor in all departments that I can't imagine anyone sticking around to find out. I sure didn't. Don't waste your time on this dog.

A band of bad men rustle a man's cattle and then frame him for the murder of their brother. He is sent to a New Mexico prison, but the walls couldn't hold him. Once he escapes, he heads for Laredo where the men who wronged him are. Extremely corny and badly acted story that was so phony I could barely watch it. Don't corral this sway backed nag.