Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast Season 13

It’s the end of the series and Rich wonders how tourists in Kings Cross will feel if their last action of earth is to queue to stand by a fictional wall. His guest is a man who has a lot of stories about how he got into comedy, it’s Mark Steel. They chat about eating pork pies with Joseph Heller, helping failed escapologists, an idea for a brand new radio 4 panel show, whether you can stand for political office and still be a comedian, the extraordinary story of Mark’s birth parents, what it’s like having a child going into comedy and getting your own back on a snooty Darwin expert. It’s a fabulous end to what has surely been the best series yet. Will the commissioners bring the show back? Yes of course they will - more in September (and a couple of specials coming out before then too)

Rich cannot win game shows even in his dreams, but is also convinced that he might be a robot, but these are small worries compared to his guests, Jamie, Alice and James from the My Dad Wrote a Porno podcast. Find out how the gang met, what they blasted into space and why, how they came up with the idea for their world-defeating podcast, the mystery of female genitalis, rivets on the Titanic, celebrity fans and can the paedo postman make it into the film version of the podcast. Also why you must always check for hogs, whether colour or taste is preferable to alter in an ejaculation, pepparami penises and unsurprisingly a whole lot of filth.

Rich has witnessed the miracle of the birth of some lamb chops near his countryside home and will be contemplating human birth with this week’s guest, back after 101 podcasts, Al Murray. They chat about how Al (with Ben Moor) might have been in the running to replace Trev and Simon, time travel, the risks of app sharing with your children, what it’s like to be sent to boarding school at the age of 9, how Rich and Al’s ancestors may have died in each other’s arms at Dunkirk, having sex with a Frankingstein, how getting sovereignty gives you less sovereignty. Plus working in panto, showing Judy Dench your Bottom and travelling through time.

Rich muses on passports and the fruition of John Moloney’s aged comedians TV show, before meeting the fiercely intelligent comedian and writer Desiree Burch. They talk about posters made up of penises, being a virgin dominatrix, the fucked up state of America, the laziness of racism, unwanted and wanted piano lessons, changing your appearance to gauge the reaction of the world and why men send dick pics. But never to Rich. Plus the joy of beautiful destruction.

Richard is marvelling about a new interpretative dance based on “All You Need is Love” but soon he will be dancing himself with brilliant new comedian and writer, Sophie Willan. They talk about how a trip to Ibiza with your techno-loving gran can ignite a love of theatre, what Rylan is like in real life, the therapeutic nature of stand up (and whetter it’s healthy to work things through on stage), the intersection between madness and comedy, growing up in and out of care, thinking Richard Ashcroft is your dad and why comedy and theatre are so middle class. Plus is it always best to be in a monogamous relationship and how much is comedy like sex work? If you’ve seen Richard dancing, then not very much.

Richard continues to be surprised by the difference of living in the country and surprises his neighbours with his specialised knowledge about genitalia, but is very excited to be welcoming American superstar comedian Maria Bamford. They talk about the difficulty of telling a joke to people who find out you’re a comedian, how some people have no sense of humour, the difficulty of making love to music, how charity only has any value if its in public, the power of unwanted thoughts and turning the worst moments of your life into comedy. Also how to deal with spousal arguments, the two words that hooked Maria’s husband and using your family for comedic purpose. Luckily Maria proves to be all you would hope and more. Hooray for that.

I mean there is so much of last week’s podcast still to unpack, plus the extra 20 minutes that Rich and this week’s guest, improviser and inspirational human being, Pippa Evans got in the dressing room. We had been Blessed. Thankfully we had at least had a week to recover. It’s a somewhat calmer podcast, with some questions in it and a couple of words from the host, including some dark suggestions for new Muppet movies, Neil Buchanan’s dental hygiene, unusual prophylactics, how improv got cool, Sunday services for the non-religious, rocking with Baptists, getting career goals in perspective, the wonders of Music Hall and basing characters on your 17 year old self. I mean, she’s no Brian Blessed, but thank God for that.

It’s finally come to pass. The podcasts can end now, because the whole point of starting them up has been achieved. Richard’s guest is a man who has played all theatrical parts, but most notably the part of Brian Blessed. I couldn’t even begin to describe what happened on this extraordinary night, except to say it is was a bona fide happening. Try and predict how many words Richard will say in this. It’s a free form and extraordinary, yet sometimes beautiful and inspiring, journey through the career, philosophy and madness of a man who might be the greatest living Englishmen. How much of it is true? I can’t tell you. But at least some of it. Includes sticking it to Picasso, toileting on a mountain, biting umbilical cords, working with the young Peter O’Toole and Patrick Stewart, never dying and probably some other stuff. I can’t tell you. I had a little nap through most of it. Worth watching the video version to see my torture on what was one of the best experiences of my life.

Rich meets his audience. Can he resist being a dick? Spoiler Alert- of course not, but never mind because he’s about to meet the man behind almost every great comedy star of the last 20 years, it’s Too Gorgeous Peter “Too Gorgeous” Baynham. The ex-flat mates discuss what happens when a 16 year old Frank Spencer is put in charge of a super tanker, the most inappropriate way to greet the death of someone’s loved one, who was right in the war over bread, Jean Valjean bumming people while looking like Peter Baynham, what it’s like to meet Adam Sandler, how Peter nearly turned down Borat and somehow didn’t turn down Arthur, what Chris Morris is like in real life (he’s nice), the lost answerphone messages that could destroy careers, Lee and Herring’s part in the creation of I’m Alan Partridge, running away from an audience and the mad thoughts that plague the diseased minds of (at least these two) comedians

Rich is disgusted to be back in filthy London and wondering if a man performs an act of extreme slapstick and no one is around to see it, will it still be funny. Spoiler alert - yes it is. His guest is a comedian who proves that it’s possible to be wise, sane and still funny, Katherine Ryan. They discuss their shared and slightly disappointingly vanilla DNA heritage, how to plan a city, wanting to marry Adam Sandler, if Jimmy Carr has time to spend his money, why comedians want to be taken seriously when being funny is much harder and better, things that you abhorred as a child but you like now, catching out cheating partners, why anyone would get married and how to be happy in life.

Red-nosed Rich is still down with the lurgy and a bit befuddled. After an awkward chat with an accountant and a student, it’s time to meet the stars of the All Killa No Filla Podcast, Rachel Fairburn and Kiri Pritchard Mclean. They talk about whether serial killers are the stand up comedians of the world of crime, whether any comedians have made the crossover into serial killing, what drives our obsession with the darkness of true crime and how that can sometimes go way too far. Also discussed are meeting Noel Gallagher, running marathons with the bloke off My Parents Are Aliens, being on a plane with Bez and doing a Muppet Christmas Carol in 6 minutes.

Rich forgot to do a bit of his tour show for the people of Cardiff so we start with a comity contest, which unexpectedly leads to the podcast being blocked by penguins. Rich’s guest this week is the laid back, all-round genius Mackenzie Crook. Will Rich screw things up as badly as last time he had someone from the Office on? Not quite, but he gives it a fair go. They chat about double-teaming Muppets, the best metal detector, why UK sitcoms are so short-lived, remaking The Office, choosing a field in Suffolk over a ship in the Carribbean, how easy it is to ride a tube train and what happened with Sex Lives of the Potato Men. All this and Rich has a barely noticeable spot on his nose. No wonder he’s out of sorts. The twit.

Rich’s daughter seems to be on her way to a mediocre career in comedy and he could not be more proud, but he doesn’t have time to show off too much as RHLSTP is welcoming its second member of parliament, Jess Phillips. There’s chat about the positive side of Brexit, the impressive thing about UKIP, why the left wing are at a disadvantage when it comes to changing things, why international men’s day is not advancing the cause of men, the disappointing representation of lifts in popular movies, the truth about whether Jess told Diane Abbot to f*** off and whether it’s best to have kids young or old. Also who is the sexiest Tory MP? Plus how safe are our elected representatives and are MPs as bad as everyone makes out? And Rich announces his intention to stand for parliament.

Rich is looking for to International “When’s International Men’s Day?” Day, but for now it’s International We Don’t Do Duvets Day, as his guests are Saturday morning TV heroes Trev and Simon. They chat about the Banana Splits, long-eared rabbits, music legends with tummy troubles and BO, fire alarms with the Young Ones, going to school with Bros, double acts on a 70/30 split, the preparation that went into creating such diverse characters and bearing grudges. Pointless might come up. I can’t remember now.

Technology delivers a cruel blow to Richard as it deletes his carefully crafted opening monologue about Cheddar Man, but he has a crack at it from memory. Richard is giddy from tiredness caused by nasty bugs from his stupid children and his guest Danielle Ward had a complicated and scary birth only 13 weeks ago, so it’s no surprise that things go a bit giddy and occasionally over the top. How many revelations about Prince Andrew and Dame Judy Dench will make it to air? Not very many is my guess. Find out what it’s like to work as an economic researcher at the South Korean embassy (when you know nothing about the economy or Korea), which member of Lee and Herring Danielle wrote to in 1996, the difficulty of transferring a successful podcast to television and what the most popular TV show of 1970 was. Find out about two moments from the life of Benedict Cumberbatch, how Rich bonded with Adrian Chiles and why Danielle loves Debbie McGee.

Fired up by his first TV recording in 23 years, Richard decides to work harder on his opening monologue, but is surprised to find how little he’s actually done, but at least there’s one in the eye for Kettle Crisps and luckily his guests are radio and podcast sensations John Robins and Elis James. They discuss pant retirement etiquette, being in a double act that actually like each other (for now), the curse of the Independent comedy couples photo shoot, the most money that’s ever changed hands for GCSE art coursework, the power of being a fan, Celebrity Mastermind humiliations and how not to respond to criticism. Plus who will survive the Josh Widdecombe/John Robins showdown?

His guest this week is doctor turned comedian turned best-selling author Adam Kay. They discuss his hilarious, harrowing and politically important book, This Is Going To Hurt https://www.amazon.co.uk/This-Going-H..., witnessing death and birth and sexual misdemeanours at close quarters, the ethics of paying for parking, the past, present and future of the NHS, the stories that were too grotesque for the book, Prince Phillip’s love for Tom Lehrer, performing comedy songs for Prince Harry and seeing vaginas from the inside. Plus what happened when Kay met Jeremy CHunt.

Richard’s living in a house of horrors and has heard a ghost, so he’s glad to be back in the safety of lovely, undangerous London to find out if Kathy Burke is as cool and amazing in real life as you really hope that she is. She’s cooler than the coolest cool kids. They chat about the many paths taken from Educating Marmalade, where you might unknowingly have first encountered Kathy, when Perry met the Manics, who is best Harry Enfield or Gary Oldman, a reluctant visit to Cannes, why Burke moved from acting to directing and the joys of Oscar Wilde. Also featuring Horne and Corden, the Mona Lisa and not being in Doctor Who. A new notebook, new chairs and new microphones - sorry about the last one of those audiophiles - we will be back to uncrackly next week.