Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast Season 14

It’s episode 200 of the podcast and the end of series 14, two insane milestones for this ramshackle lump of podcast. And to celebrate this occasion there’s a record breaking fourth appearance from the grandson of a Batman, Adam Buxton. Adam sets the agenda from the start, bearing gifts, mocking stone-clearing like a philistine, revealing what 1995 Richard Herring had somehow discovered annoyed Stewart Lee and attempting a slightly underwhelming tribute to Groundhog Day. Plus find out how Nile Rodgers responded to jokes by kids, why a head in a jar has to bring its own cloth, whether it’s possible to have a film set at Stonehenge without the stones being knocked over at some point and whether child-men in their fifties have to finally grow up. Plus some extraordinary epistles from World War One and how fields with barbed wire can still cause injury even today.

Richard has finally won a TV quiz show and I am afraid he will never stop talking about it again, but he’s nervous as Hell because one of his heroes is on the podcast and he’s sure he’ll screw it up, it’s ex-Fun Boy Three-er Terry Hall. They discuss the dynamics and disagreements that come with collaboration, the nostalgic sexual time waves of early 1980s fashion, the one occasion when Terry laughed, being mistaken for a ventriloquist by the taxman, why the greatest album of all time only made it to 95 in the charts and why Terry didn’t end up as a hairdresser. There’s some serious chat about sexual abuse and depression and how Terry had dealt with these traumas and some cruel assessments of the town of Coventry. And can the power of RHLSTP finally get the album Home to number 1 where it belongs? No, I don’t think so. It doesn’t seem to be commercially available.

Richard chats with the audience and struggles to find anyone who works in IT, but discovers a human interest story that would be moving and inspirational in the hands of anyone else, but Herring manages to get laughs instead, the monster. HIs guest this week is actor, writer and a man who might be able to take on Michael Palin for the title the nicest man in show business, Sanjeev Bhaskar. They talk about working with a tiny James Bolam, Richard’s drunken debauchery and theft at a corporate gig in the early 90s, how Sanjeev’s big break rested on the toss of a coin, the real life origin story of The Kumars and how a TV executive attempted to ruin it, how Sanjeev ended up marrying his own grandmother. Loads more stuff in this one including Brian Blessed, working with Pythons, pert nipples (I must have told that one before) and becoming friends with Roger Moore.

Rich is back on the telly, even if at this point, House of Games is looking like it might be another House of Horrors, but if he plays his cards right he might be able to get on another quiz show, because his guest is the host of !mpossible, it’s Rick Edwards. Find out how Ruby Wax helped steer his career, what it’s like to get married in Kew Gardens, how Rick upset Jake Gyllenhaal and if it’s true that he has no sense of smell. Richard attempts to pull down the concept of Alternate Universes, but fails (if only we’d been in the Universe where he succeeded in making his point) and the pair discuss whether being incredibly handsome has damaged their careers. Plus Backgammon, Rick and Morty and some pretty successful attempts by Richard to remember pop culture things that no one else recalls

Drunk from one beer from last week’s podcast, Richard is indiscrete about one of his former girlfriends, but let’s move quickly on to welcome Lucy Porter and Jenny “The Vixen” Ryan from the excellent Fingers on Buzzers Podcast. Rich finally gets to dedicate a whole podcast to his quizzing failures and to envy Lucy for the number of extra show she’s been on.We hear about behind the scenes on the Weakest Link, how Lucy and Jenny met on a record breaking episode of the Chase, who knows the most about their home town, foot fetishism, sexual awakenings during Hi-de-Hi, how creating a quiz show can make you a millionaire and which celebrity from Croydon Richard would most like to have sex with.

Rich has found the mother of all stones and is banging on about that as usual (don’t worry he will syphon this off into a podcast you don’t have to listen to soon). His guest is RHLSTP super fan and fly in the ointment Joe Lycett. They discuss the beauty of being allowed to be silly in a serious world, whether Tom Daley should be sponsored to go to Pride, the Daily Express making mountains out of molehills, how a TV chef did not appreciate a joke about chicken jerk and how envy can eat you up and how age can soften its grip. We also learn about Joe’s new projects, including the Great British Sewing Bee, and hear from Esme, one of the judges of that show, who is in our front row and is rather well refreshed after a day out with Joe.

Rich has had to deal with the soft poo of his ill dog, but he didn’t eat any of it, even though it looked delicious and anyone who says he did is lying. And he meets some men who work in IT in his audience, which is a novelty, but wait til you hear about the marital status of one of them…. His guest is a woman he worked with just four days before recording, though she seems to have forgotten all about it, Amanda Abbington. Can she name the cast of Man Stroke Woman? How many times has she appeared on the Bill? What is Nicholas Lyndhurst’s acting secret? Has she played Give Us A Clue with Una Stubbs? And Rich recounts how he has twice failed auditions to appear in shows with her. Rich makes a pitch to appear in Death in Paradise, which might not quite work out for him and there’s chat about UFOs, sex robots and more evidence that drinking alcohol might not be the best preparation for a long-form interview.

Rich is back on terrestrial TV as a last minute guest on a new Channel 5 gameshow, so cheg on suckers, he’s out of here. He always hated podcasts and was just using you to get back on the telly. But while he’s waiting for the phone to start ringing there’s time for another chat, this time with the journalist and broadcaster James O’Brien. Recorded on a particularly depressing week, but maybe not as depressing as the world you’re living in as you listen to it, there’s some serious dissection of Brexit, Trump and how fake news and indignation have stymied debate. Find out about James’ time as a showbiz reporter, his investigations into the truth behind Interval and more from his book “How to be Right in a World Gone Wrong.” Is there any hope? Are we learning what it was like to live through the rise of Hitler? Has James ever tried to suck his own cock (don’t know, forgot to ask)? And is the way through all this just to drink eight craft beers and let the anti-depressants cheer you up?

Richard’s participation in a PTA quiz in his village, led to an unlikely correspondence with one of his new neighbours, but he’s really looking forward to meeting the star of Twilight and the Damned United - oh no, he had to pull out, so we got Nish Kumar instead. But lucky us (apart from the obvious bad luck) because we get to hear about Nish shitting himself on camera, watching a man get down and dirty with a horse, being the worst Taskmaster contestant ever, the best use of a House of Games trophy and what it’s like to lose it on Question Time. How’s Brexit going to turn out and why can’t Brexiteers stop themselves leaving? Plus the unpredicted but satisfying success of the Mash Report. If you’re hoping Michael Sheen might pop up as a surprise guest at the last minute then I am afraid you will be disappointed (hopefully we can get him to come down in 2019) but there is a brief ray of light as he sends us a message.

Richard has had a ladybird in his house and is reminded of the horrors of the 1976 ladybird invasion, but how it eventually paid off to his advantage, but there’s no time to consider too deeply if he’s had sex with an insect that has magically taken human form, because he’s talking to 2018 Comedy Award winner and the quarter Croatian, Rose Matafeo, the third guest on this podcast series to have lived in a house just behind Richard’s old house in Shepherd’s Bush. Richard gets pathetically drunk on just one bottle of Beer 52 beer and is scarcely able to remember how to speak, let alone recall what was discussed, but it includes a lot of racist attempts to do the English accent by Rose, plus what it’s like to be up the tallest building in the Southern hemisphere, "women’s things”, an attempt to understand millennials, waiting for Burt Bacharach, watching your pet die and the New Zealand version of the Horny Time Traveller.

It’s a showdown battle of who is best, Richard or Hugh Jassburn - in book form at least, but Richard is keen to bring back one of his all time favourite guests: the magnificent beast and Master of Tasks that is Greg Davies. They discuss schoolday soilings, dick-lifters, being related to a ghost, little Alex Horne, the exquisite pain of laughing when you’re not meant to, sex with teddies, the saddest of bachelor meals, the death of two fathers, the devastating surprise of ageing, what it takes to be in your fifties, the weirdest group of celebrities to gather at Buckingham Palace and the wondrous comedy of commitment to joyous stupidity. It’s eye-wateringly funny stuff with two childish old men who should know better.

Richard has been publicising his latest book, but it’s not popular with canines, but at least he’s got daytime DJs asking some wholly inappropriate questions. His guests this week are Hannah, Taylor and a slightly familiar Catie, from the Drunk Women Solving Crime podcast. Can the inebriated females solve a mystery that has remained mysterious for sixteen years? What crimes has Richard had carried out upon his small person, can he and his wife get through this podcast without resorting to divorce? What kind of crimes do they have on the Isle of Wight and how effective are the police? Plus sex robots, pond-pushing and the beautiful autonomy of podcasting.

Richard welcomes an audience member who has come all the way from America JUST to see him and boy, is he pleased about that? His guest is the multi-talented singer, comedian and impressionist, Jess Robinson. She talks about the decision to do Britain’s Got Talent and the seemingly shocking truth about some of the contestants, how she chanced into impressionism thanks to an acting audition, what kind of crimes Noddy can solve in this crazy PC world that had dulled Enid Blyton’s fine morality, and questionable fashion choices. Is the voice behind Virgin train toilets someone famous? What kind of genitals does a Merman have? What have the Chuckle Brothers smeared on Jess’ face? What nerdy madness drives impressionists? Who was the celebrity gimp who danced with Vaginal Tap? Is marriage a good idea? And most importantly, has Jess Robinson ever met Brian Blessed? This is the only podcast where you’ll be able to find out.

Rich has had the time of his life in Manchester and wants to leave the avocado-munching Londoners behind forever - is he no longer one of them? And it’s time for him to create a work of art that will surely make him the richest man in the world, or just feel slightly sickened. But it’s not like living in the country has driven him mad like a character from the dark mind of Alice Lowe. There’s some chat about the insanity of giving birth and how Alice managed to conjure up a hit film whilst seven-months pregnant, the terrible and slightly sexy things that happen on camping trips, the Keswick Pencil Museum, whether TV dulls the creative experience, winning the Perrier with the cult hit Garth Marenghi and maybe the most convincing ghost story yet. Has Alice Lowe met Brian Blessed? This is the only podcast where you’ll be able to find out.

Richard has some Hitchin-based stand up, that doesn’t play well with the self-obsessed London metropolitan elite and it’s seat of your pants time for this podcast because booked guest Amanda Abbington is stuck on the M6 so we have parachuted in last-second replacement, crystal obsessed nutjob Lou Sanders. They discuss where comedy and madness meet, dodgy massages, shamanic healing, giving up booze, the sex scene that they shared and tooth-snuggles during blow-jobs. All with no time to research apart from minimal notes from producer Ben. More exciting news on the stone clearing project too.

SPOILER ALERT Rich gives a big spoiler about the new Harry Potter plays which will be bad if you like Harry Potter, but awesome if you hate him and then there’s a welcome return for the fizzling brain (and to be fair, the rest of him) of Ross Noble. Under discussion today: what it’s like to kiss Harold Bishop, a potentially libellous discussion of who was almost cast in the Sky Halloween short instead of Richard, some important corrections about McCoy era Doctor Who, unfortunate ways to find out that someone you care about has died, the mad pleasure of working with Mel Brooks and the find out the tallest building in Cramlington (citation needed).

Rich offers to fill a school library with books, before introducing the multi-talented genius behind Taskmaster and much more, Alex Horne. Find out what it’s like to sit bare-arsed on a cake, the secrets of Tim Key’s kindle, the respective amounts the pair spent on their last hair cuts and whether the first rule of Taskmaster is you can’t go on Taskmaster if you ask to be on Taskmaster.

It feels so long since we were last here, but Richard is glad to be back for series 14, even if life in the countryside seems to be driving him to stone-based madness. His guest has come from across the Atlantic and a personal hero of Richard’s, novelist and screenwriter, Jonathan Ames. Will Rich once again shame himself in front of someone he hopes to impress? Let’s hope so. There are some marvellous tales of incontinence, food-poisoning and a great new sperm distribution invention (so business as usual). Plus who has come closer to death in the last 24 hours? How do you cope with 20 rejection letters? What happens when the bloke form The Hangover grabs your penis? Also advice on how to see incomplete Broadway shows for nothing, putting a 92 year old woman to bed and a reading from the funny, semi-autobiographical novel, “The Extra Man”. Plus at the finale the author makes an extraordinary sound.