Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs (2015)

Also known as "Jurassic Hunters" the film takes place in modern times. Cowboy Val Walker (Rib Hillis) is back in town after falling off his horse. Sky (Casey Fitzgerald) his former girlfriend and domestic violence victim is now living with the sheriff (John Freeman). Meanwhile, a blast at the mine has let loose velociraptors. These aren't your run of the mill raptors, but methane breathing reptiles who survived in a sealed cavern for millions of years, a cavern that has lots of iridium.The movie is Asylum quality, using many of their regular actors. In one scene john falls down face first, and then in the next he is on his back. Iridium has nothing to do with dinosaurs. Eric Roberts plays the town drunk and Val's dad. Did he have his teeth bleached?The film goes through the motions and ends with 20 minutes of campy dinosaur fighting at the end, which was "so bad it was good."Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity. Pretty girls in bikinis

What is there to say when you're presented with a film titled Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs? The budget was probably a total of $12, probably to pay for the washed up Batman mafia guy's Canadian Tuxedo. A lot of the scenery shots seem as if they were shamelessly stolen from a Planet Earth episode. They couldn't even afford to use blanks with their damn guns. However, as terrible as the dinosaur animations are, they at least look okay for such a hatchet-job film. Also, why in the hell is the cast comprised solely of 20 yr old women and 50 yr old dudes? If you want my honest opinion, this was clearly a somewhat elaborate ruse to dodge some legal issues for a sleazy porno in Montana. But hey, if you really have nothing to do on a lazy Sunday, I say go ahead and give it a watch. Leave your brain at the door and It'll give you some laughs.

There are two writers for the script of this movie. Each has produced volumes. If you combined their entire life's work, wadded it into a ball, and held it up, God would come down from Mount Jeebus to destroy it. They apparently took the script from Cowboys & Aliens (itself pretty uninspired), changed a few words, and presto. Take away the 160 million dollar budget and good actors and there you have it; Cowboys vs Dinosaurs.There is nothing here. It's like everyone involved said "mail me my check, I'm phoning this one in." Even for SyFy, this really sucked. No amount of effort appears to have been applied at all. If they weren't making money doing this, I'm sure it would stop, but it never does. Don't ask me how they do it.In the realm of SyFy movies, this one falls between Mega-(insert name here) and Shark-(include anything you want here). It's a total waste of time. And this from a guy who gave Robocroc a 6. The acting, the CGI, the production values, all have been thrown out the window. I don't know what happened here, but obviously something did.If you are stuck for something to watch, and only this is on, clean the garage instead. You know it needs it anyway, and your time will have been better spent.

Eric Roberts have been involved in so many of these B-movies this year alone and with title such as Cowboys vs Dinosaurs, you would know what to expect here. In that regard the movie delivers, it's a series of cheesy dialogues and terrible effects conveyed by entirely uncomfortable cast. This movie is for when you have exhausted every other movie option and at best might just find some comedy.There are cowboys, and then they meet with dinosaurs. If that sounds rather uninformative, it's because narrative offers little explanation. In fact, most of the times the focus is geared towards attractive ladies that have little to no credible acting skill. To put it mildly, they are most likely recruited from adult entertainment industry.One doesn't accidentally stumble on Cowboys vs Dinosaurs, you should know the inherent shady production, might just as well embrace it.